


My Kind of Love

by Chlo88



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-06-14 09:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15386097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chlo88/pseuds/Chlo88
Summary: Before Rupert Giles heads back to England he makes a stop in LA. Having decided that while Buffy may need to learn to be without his help, she may need someone to help her. Someone she could view as an equal. He helps get Faith out of jail and headed back to Sunnydale. Set in S6, this story explores what could happen if Faith had returned around Smashed. Will Buffy and the Scooby Gang accept her? And how will her feelings for Buffy and her quest for redemption impact the story.





	1. Need a little Faith

**Author's Note:**

> My first Faith/Buffy story and my first time writing fanfiction again in a very long time. Just thought it would be fun to explore this dynamic and play around with inserting Faith into s6. Hope you enjoy!

“You know I would have been less shocked if you had turned up a few months ago,” Faith says, passing on a more traditional greeting for the man sitting on the other side of the glass.

He looks so much older than he had when she had seen him last that its weird thinking that was just a year ago. Life hadn’t exactly been peachy for either of them. 

“Well, yes, I suppose it must be- wait why would it have made sense before?” Giles asks looking confused. 

“I mean when B was dead,” she pauses, it still hurts to even say that, “there was a part of me that thought you might come cause you needed another Slayer. Now she’s alive again I can’t see why you’d need to look me up.”

“How did you know? Did Angel tell you?” Giles asks looking even more confused than he had before. For a smart guy he looks confused a lot.

“I felt it. When she died. And again when she came back. It’s uh a Slayer thing I guess. I don’t know. ”

Giles sits back a little and, in a move she’d seen a million times, starts cleaning his glasses. 

“That’s fascinating. You can feel each other? Do you think you could-“

She rolls her eyes and cuts him off, “Listen we don’t exactly have hours to chit chat here. Tell me why you’re here.”

“Right,” he says composing himself, “well it’s about Buffy-“

“Is B okay?” she cuts him off again, unable to stop the concern from coming out, “I mean damn she just came back from the dead, girlfriend deserves a break,” she adds with a shrug, trying to cover her little outburst of emotion. 

“That’s actually what this is about. You’re probably not privy to how Buffy returned from the dead. Having decided that Buffy was in a hell dimension, Willow and the others found a spell to raise her from the dead. If I had known I would have discouraged them from attempting such magic.”

This makes Faith’s blood boil in a way it hasn’t since she settled into this whole redemption thing she’s trying in jail. How could he even think about being upset they took B out of hell? She wants to punch through the glass and shake him. Maybe slap him around a little. 

“Good for Red, glad someone has B’s back like that,” she choses to let the bitterness come out through her words rather than her fists.

“Willow was wrong. Buffy wasn’t-well the truth is we all found out rather recently that Buffy had been in heaven. Willow and the others- they ripped her out of heaven,” his voice is laced with more pain than she’s ever heard in him before. 

“Oh god B,” Faith chokes out before she can stop herself. She’s overwhelmed by the confusing emotions cursing through her. 

Buffy dying had almost destroyed Faith. She’d been lying in her bunk trying to meditate when suddenly she’d felt like someone had dumped ice all over her. Just this crushing cold that weighed her down and made breathing feel so damn hard.  
And she’d just known.  
Desperately she’d tried to feel for Buffy through their Slayer connection and all she felt was a coldness that seemed to pierce her very core. She just knew that it meant Buffy was gone. 

Slowly a rage she hadn’t felt since she’d turned herself in built up in her and she was screaming. Screaming and slamming her fist into her cell wall until the guards had all come running in and then her fists were slamming into bodies, knocking them out easily, blood pouring out of their soft bodies and her own hands.

Then the next thing she remembered was waking up in solitary feeling numb. And for the next 147 days that was all she felt. Numb. Her whole life Faith felt something intensely every moment of every day.  
But, while B was dead, she’d felt nothing.  
Then suddenly, as she sat in the dining hall trying to eat something, her body had tingled and warmth had spread through her. She’d been unable to control the tears that had sprung to her eyes. Tough ass Faith Lehane had wept tears of fucking joy as she’d sat at that dining table knowing Buffy Summers was back in this world. 

So knowing Buffy had been ripped out of heaven? Ripped away from the peace she deserved more than anyone? It hurt. She hurt for Buffy because she knew how fucked the whole thing must have been. But, she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad that Buffy was alive because god Buffy had not deserved to die in the first place.  
That and147 days of numbness was all Faith had needed to know she loved Buffy Summers in a way she’d never loved anyone. She couldn’t feel bad knowing the girl she loved was still in the world. 

“Faith?” she had completely forgotten Giles was still there. She raises her eyes to his and sees genuine concern for her there. She looks down immediately and takes a few deep breaths to compose herself.

“I’m still not sure why you’re here for me?” she asks because she really wants to know. And she wants Giles to stop staring at her with his kind eyes that seem to know too much. 

“As I’m sure you can imagine, Buffy is not coping particularly well,” she scoffs at this because well no fucking shit, but she lets him continue.  
“And I think my being around isn’t helping her. She’s allowing me to look after everything, Dawn, her debt…everything.”

“Why would you be looking after Dawnie? Surely Joyce can?” she asks before she can even get into the bullshit that is Giles wanting B to just deal without his help.

“Oh,” Giles falters, “I thought-well I assumed. Joyce passed away suddenly a little while before Buffy…” he trails off.

And well fuck. She almost laughs at how fucking ridiculously unfair this entire thing is. Buffy didn’t deserve any of this. Neither did little Dawnie. And oh god Joyce. She’d been a hell of a woman. A kind woman and Faith had only ever thrown that back in her face. She feels a lump form in her throat as she realizes she will never get to apologize to her.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says sincerely, noting the tears in the corners of Giles’ eyes. She kind of always figured he had a little thing for Joyce. She wouldn’t blame him if he had. 

“Yes well,” he takes off his glasses again, dabbing at his eyes discretely as he cleans them. “I’m heading back to England. For good.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Faith screams before she can stop herself. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with this man sitting across from her? God she always thought he loved B as if she was his own. 

“It’s the right thing to do,” he asserts, “Buffy needs me to not be there so she can start living again.”

“B needs you to leave?” she’s fully in rage mode now and the guards are starting to come closer, “You’re like a dad to her and you’re just up and fucking off when she needs you most? That sounds more like something my old man would have done.”

“That’s exactly why I’m leaving,” he yells back and now the guards are really looking worried. Giles can also see them approaching and he waves them off, before turning to face Faith again. And for a minute they just look at each other. 

“Buffy doesn’t need someone she can pass all the responsibility onto while she wanders through life lost. But, she does need someone there to help her. Which is why I’m here.”

“Wait what?” she says, her anger deflating completely and being replaced with shock.

“That’s why I’m here. I’m organizing to have your record expunged, if you agree to this obviously, so that you can go to Sunnydale and help Buffy.”

Faith knows she must look ridiculous just blinking at him. But, fuck she definitely wasn’t expecting that. 

“Hang on you want me, the murdering rogue Slayer, to go back to Sunnydale to help B?” she almost laughs, “Do you even hear yourself? Or have you been knocked out too many times.” 

“I know you love her,” Giles says quietly and Faith feels like she’s just been sucker punched. 

“What are you talking about?” she asks trying to sound like the mere idea is stupid, she crosses her arms defensively as she glares at him. 

“I may like to ignore what you all do with your private lives, but I’m not blind Faith. You can deny it all you want and I will not push it, but I know you’ll help her. I can see the change in you and I know you’ll do the right thing for her. For you both,” he finishes with a soft smile and she almost feels like crying. He can’t possibly know what his belief in her means. If only he had-no she knows she can’t dwell on the past.

“So are you willing to come help save the world again, Faith?” 

She closes her eyes to process it all. Is she ready? The road to redemption isn’t an easy one and she’s sure being back in Sunnydale will just make it a lot fucking harder. But, she could help again. Use her powers for good and all that shit. Help B. She’s not sure how she’ll be any help, but she’d like to try. 

She smiles as she opens her eyes.

“Yeah, if the world is ready for more Faith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave feedback! Story will have around 14 chapters in total and 4 of them are written (just working on editing). I'll be aiming to upload every other day. Hope you enjoyed!!


	2. The reconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith arrives back in Sunnydale and almost immediately runs into Buffy. How will their first meeting since Faith went to jail go?
> 
> This is set during the second half of Smashed (s 6) and takes things in a different direction from there.

She can’t believe she’s back in Sunnydale. It feels like a lifetime ago that she was here last and in some ways it kind of has been. The Faith that was here last year would not recognize the Faith here right now.

She isn’t really sure exactly how she is here, but she is no longer a wanted criminal and the prison had let her go with an apology. She’d really struggled not to laugh at that. Because they didn’t owe her an apology, she _had_ murdered those people and she deserved to be in jail. 

She still felt weird about it. But, Giles has assured her if she really wanted to redeem herself then she was needed saving the world. 

 

So here she is, back in Sunnydale with nowhere to stay and no one aware she’s here.  Just like old times. This time she’s got a bit of cash though. Giles had figured it was the least he could do. She’s a little pissed that he left town before telling anyone she would be coming back. She’s  ninety percent sure she’s going to get at least a little beat up when she just walks in to face the Scooby Gang unannounced.

Giles had told her that he owned some place called the Magic Box and that Buffy and the Scoobs all hung around there a lot. She figures that’s probably the best place to hit up first. Buffy probably won’t want to break too much stuff in there, so the beat down might be a little tamer. Maybe.

 

* * *

 

And there it is, The Magic Box. She peers inside but it looks pretty dark. Damn, she had been hoping to run into B tonight.

She’s about to walk away when she feels that tingle that always comes when a vamp is nearby. A grin spreads across her face, it’s been a long ass time since she got her slay on and this is the kind of fun she needs.

 She hears two people fighting and rushes around the corner and her heart does that lame beat skipping thing. There is Buffy. And fuck even smacking around that peroxide blonde vamp she’s still as beautiful as ever.

 

“Don’t you see, you came back wrong!” the vamp screams at Buffy before hitting her and that’s all Faith needs before she’s flying at him. She’s got him up against the wall and is punching his dumb face when suddenly she’s pulled off him and Buffy is right in front of her looking a combination of shocked, thankful and angry. It’s kind of adorable.

 

“Faith?” Buffy asks, sounding softer than Faith has ever heard her.

 

“In the flesh, B. Listen, I know you-“

 

“Excuse me? We were in the middle of something!” she’s cut off by the vamp who she now realizes is Spike. Boy, she wants to stake him even more now. Giles had told her about Spike’s sick obsession with B.

 

“Go away, Spike,” Buffy says before Faith can speak. She doesn’t look at him, her big green eyes still locked on Faith.

 

“Are you serious Slayer? When are you going to stop sending me away? Things are different now, I can-“

 

Faith whips around, smacking him hard across the face before he can finish.

 

“Leave now and I won’t stake you Willy,” she sneers.

 

“Please, Spike,” Buffy adds before he can interject again and his face softens for a moment before hardening again as he looks to Faith.

 

“This isn’t done,” he glares at Faith before stalking off, leaving Buffy and Faith alone.

 

“How did you break out of jail?” Buffy asks, hands on hips.

 

It seems that the shock and thankfulness have worn off now and all Faith has left now is a very angry Buffy in front of her. It’s almost comforting. An angry Buffy is one Faith is very used to.

 

“ It wasn’t like that! Well I mean I’m not really sure what Giles did but-“

 

“Giles?” Buffy cuts her off, “Giles has something to do with this?”

 

Buffy looks damn near hysterical at this point so Faith takes a risk and puts her hands gently on the girl’s shoulders. Buffy immediately throws them off, crossing her arms and glaring at Faith.

 

“Look B, I get this is super confusing to you. Hell it’s confusing to me still. But, if you’ll just give me a minute to explain I’ll try and make it make sense, okay?”  

 

For a minute Buffy just stares at Faith. Faith feels practically naked (in the not good way) under her intense stare. She doesn’t say anything though, it feels important to just let Buffy do whatever she needs to do so they can talk.

 

“Okay,” Buffy finally says with a shrug, before turning and moving down the alley, “follow me.”

 

 Feeling a wave of relief spread through her, Faith does exactly what she’s asked.

 

* * *

 

“So Giles helped you out of jail because he thinks you’re ready to be good again? And he wants me to help you?” Buffy asks incredulously, shaking her head a little.

That’s the version Giles told Faith to tell Buffy. Can’t have B know Giles thinks she’s the one that needs help.

 “Yep that’s about it,” Faith says, taking a swig of her beer. They’re at some dive bar because Buffy thought it would be best if she got the story out of Faith before alarming Dawn who was at the house. And she didn’t want to risk running into any of her friends with Faith, which ruled out The Bronze. Faith is definitely on board with putting off seeing Dawnie and the others until tomorrow. She needs some rest before facing that much hate all at once.

 

Being here with Buffy, just talking with no fists and music playing in the background…it’s definitely stirring some old memories. Memories of how they used to dance together, how she used to flirt and how sometimes Buffy used to flirt back. _God_ , she wishes they could go back to that.

Part of her wants to ask Buffy for a dance right now, the beat is good and she knows B likes to dance just as much as she does. The part of her that’s sane though knows that she’s lucky she hasn’t been punched yet and she shouldn’t risk it.

 

“First he leaves when I need him, now he dumps even more responsibility on me,” Buffy mumbles under her breath and Faith huffs out a slightly bitter laugh.

 

“Look B, I get it. I know last time we saw each other you told me not to apologise so I ain’t gonna insult you by trying that again. But, I’m not that person who fucked you over anymore. I don’t expect you to like me or trust me anytime soon, but I want to do good. It’s a lot to ask and I know I can’t make shit right, but fuck it I want to try,” Faith says sincerely, making sure her eyes never waiver from Buffy’s.

 

“Hell what’s the use in being a Slayer if I’m just behind bars, right?” she finishes with a grin, looking down. Being open and vulnerable is still something she can only do for moments. She takes another swig of her beer and then chances a look at Buffy who is still regarding her carefully. And god it hurts to see how closed off those once bright green eyes look now.

 

“You can stay at the house if you want,” Buffy offers completely out of nowhere and Faith sees it for what it is, a chance to make peace.

 

“Sure will beat the flea bag motel I was eyeing off earlier. Not sure even some Christmas lights would brighten up that dump” she smirks and for a second Buffy’s eyes twinkle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed chapter 2! Faith is now back in town and already changing things up. Feedback is very much appreciate!!


	3. Imploding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith is now back in Sunnydale and staying with Buffy. How will Dawn and the Scooby gang take her return? Will she be able to help?
> 
> This is set during Wrecked, but Faith's return means that not all parts of that episode are canon to this story (as Buffy never did sleep with Spike).

Faith got in the habit of getting up early in prison. No other option in the big house. So even a comfortable sleep in a warm bed isn’t enough to break the habit-well not straight away at least. Which is why she’s currently in the kitchen of the Summers’ house trying to find something to eat.

 

“BUFFY”

 

She whips around to see Dawn brandishing a knife in a way that makes Faith want to make a quip about taking after big sis. She bites her tongue though. Next to her, looking both confused and a little scared, is a girl with light brown hair that Faith saw asleep next to Dawnie on the couch the night before. They’d arrived back late and Buffy hadn’t wanted to disturb the two girls, but she also hadn’t mentioned the other chick’s name. She definitely looks familiar though.

 

Faith raises her hands, realizing how completely stupid it was for her to come down without waiting for the go ahead from Buffy.

 

“Just getting some cereal,” she starts and is grateful when she hears Buffy’s footsteps on the stairs.

 

“Did they run out in prison?” Dawn snaps, knife still pointed at Faith.

 

“She’s staying here,” Buffy says as she enters the room in just a towel, which is so fucking unfair when Faith knows she needs to be paying attention to the actual conversation. She decides staring at Dawn is safer. The mental image of B in a towel…well she can revisit that later.

 

“What?” Dawn screams, turning to face Buffy as the other chick puts a comforting hand on her arm.

 

“Why is the girl that tried to kill literally everyone you care about, including me, here and not in prison?” Dawn is completely hysterical and Faith can’t exactly blame her. She wants to apologize to the young girl so bad, but she’s a little unsure how to start that conversation. How do you say ‘hey sorry for tying you up and threatening to kill you but I’m nice now I promise’? There’s no book in the ‘For Dummies’ collection on convincing people you no longer want to murder them.

 

“She’s not going to hurt you,” Buffy says calmly and Faith is kind of surprised that it seems like Buffy might actually believe that.

 

“Are you serious? Why on earth would you-“

 

“Sweetie, why don’t we let Buffy get dressed and then we can all discuss this calmly,” the chick Faith can’t remember says gently, cutting Dawn off before she can reach full tantrum mode.

 

“Thanks, Tara,” Buffy smiles gratefully at the girl and Faith finally has a name. It’s Willow’s girlfriend.

 

 “Faith can you maybe make me a coffee? I think we both could use one for this conversation,” Buffy adds before heading back towards the stairs. Faith watches her leave, indulging in looking at the towel clad Buffy from behind.

 

A loud cough interrupts her staring and she turns around to see Tara staring at her with an unreadable look. Probably convinced that she’s not only a crazy murderer but now also a perv. Not that that would be wrong exactly.

 

An incredibly awkward silence descends on the room. It stretches out for a few minutes as Tara gently rubs Dawn’s arms while Faith continues her search for cereal.

 

“Oh right coffee,” Faith says out loud just to hear something as she busies herself looking for the coffee maker.

 

“I’ll do it, wouldn’t want you to use it as an excuse to poison my sister,” Dawn shoots her a glare as she finds the coffee maker.

 

“You know me Dawnie, knives and torture are more my thing then poisoned coffee,” Faith bites back before she can help herself.

 

“Faith,” Buffy says sternly as she re-enters the room, getting in before Dawn can scream some more.

 

“Sorry,” she mumbles, feeling stupid for letting her emotions best her like that. Less than a day and she’s already acting like a screw up.  Buffy sighs.

 

“Can everyone just behave for a minute so I can explain the situation?”

 

Dawn looks like she wants to say something, but a look from Tara makes her think better of it.

 

Faith tunes out, trying her best to just look calm and lets Buffy launch into the explanation. It’s going to be a long freaking day.

 

* * *

  

“Are you serious?”

 

So yeah apparently yelling upon finding out Faith is staying in town is going to be a common theme for today. This time it’s Xander, not Dawn and they’re at the Magic Box, not Buffy’s house. Still, she’s starting to think it could make a drinking game.

 

“You really expect me to trust the psycho?” Xander continues, pointing angrily at Faith as he stares Buffy down.

 

“I don’t expect anything from you, Xander,” Faith says trying to stay calm, “ ‘cept maybe to chill with aiming all that rage at B.”

 

This earns her a small smile from Buffy, though Faith can see it doesn’t really reach her eyes. It’s starting to really bug her that she seems to be the only one who can see that Buffy really isn’t coping. Are they all blind? Or has the Scooby Gang always been this self-involved?

 

“Well lucky for you I still have some rage left over,” Xander bites back, turning on Faith.

 

“Isn’t this the girl that took your virginity?” Anya, who has been sitting watching this whole exchange, abruptly asks and Xander’s face turns pink.

 

“You’re not back to try and get Xander are you? Because we’re engaged now and while you may be pretty, you can’t have him,” Anya moves to Xander, linking arms with him in a show of possessiveness. Xander just sighs, all his righteous anger depleting.

 

“You don’t have to worry ‘bout that. Xan’s not really up to my speed,” Faith says with a smirk.

 

“Hey!” Xander says indignantly.

 

“Yes hey! His stamina really has improved,” Anya adds and Faith has to fight not to laugh. She thinks she might like this chick.

 

“Anyway,” Buffy cuts in, “Faith _is_ going to be helping. So give her a book and we can get into research mode. We still need to find out what happened at the museum.”

 

Faith groans, but takes the book Xander offers her with a glare. She’d prefer the screaming match with Xander to research. Boredom must be one of keys to redemption.

 

* * *

  

So turns out things in Sunnydale are way more messed up than Faith had first thought. Buffy isn’t coping and everyone around her seems to want to just ignore it in the hopes she’ll just go back to normal. Faith gives Dawnie a pass, what with being a teenager who has had her fair share of trauma, looking after B isn’t really her problem. And Tara seems like a decent chick and Faith can see she wants to help, but she’s still clearly raw over her break up with Red. Still, Faith can give her props for all she’s doing for Dawnie despite her own hurt.

 

Xander gets absolutely no props. Maybe it’s harsh that she’s always seen him as kind of useless, but right now he isn’t doing much to make her think any different. She’s pretty sure he’s just going keep pretending everything with Buffy is fine so he doesn’t have to feel bad about what they did.

 

And Willow? Well Red has well and truly gone off the deep end with this magic craze of hers and now she and Dawnie are missing. She never would have believed Willow had it in her, but that Amy girl she’s hanging out with is a worse influence than Faith was during Buffy’s short lived rebel phase. Faith’s just hoping someone won’t need to die to shock Willow out of this phase.

 

The Scooby Gang are well and truly imploding and all Faith can do is watch. Once upon a time she would have enjoyed watching. Now she wishes she could help. But, she’s pretty damn sure none of them would listen to her thoughts on their fucked up choices. Granted that is fair given her past life choices. It’s just hard to be useful when no one thinks she can be.

 

So here she is again, strolling the streets of Sunnydale with Amy looking for some dude named Rack. Why is she with Amy? Because Buffy had been dumb and thought splitting up would be for the best. And truth be told it probably had been because it had given Faith a chance to go rough up some of the lowlife she knew from her time with the Mayor and get some information on Rack out of them.

She’s not sure Buffy would have been up for that plan, but it had worked and she found out you needed a witch or a vampire to track the guy. And in another plan Buffy probably wouldn’t have approved off, she’d tracked down Amy and with minimal violence (a little had been necessary) she’d convinced Amy to help her track down Rack.

 

“We’re not far now,” says Amy, “I can feel it.”

 

Faith rolls her eyes, “You’ve said that six times now. You better mean it or I’ll-”

 

She cuts herself off because she can sense Buffy is near. Just a low thrum of energy that she knows is B. She doesn’t tune into it a lot, their weird Slayer connection, but given she’s been hoping to find Buffy for the past half hour she’s been aware of it.

 

“Shh,” she turns to Amy who looks like she wants to argue but thankfully has enough brains not to. Or maybe just enough bruises to know better.

 

She turns down the alley closest to her and lo and behold it’s Buffy with Spike. Her temper flares a little at this because Buffy had told her they needed to split up and then she’d gone and teamed up with Spike? She’s really not liking the decisions Buffy’s been making in the 24 hours since she’s been back.  

 

“I want you out of my life, Spike. Out of my work, my house”

 

And okay maybe Faith isn’t so angry anymore, because that sounds like a good decision. Still, she grabs Amy and drags her closer to where Spike and Buffy are in case the other girl needs back up.

 

“Too late for that. You already invited me in. And as for work, you need me. Like tonight-“

 

“Forget it. I’ll find Dawn myself,” Buffy begins to walk away.

 

“You’re really going to put little sis in danger just to spite me?”

 

And that gets Buffy to pause, her shoulders falling a little. That’s all Faith needs to see.

 

“It’s okay William, we can spite you and save Dawnie all at once.”

 

They both whip around to face her and-is that relief in Buffy’s eyes as she spots Faith? No probably just surprise.

 

“Actually, slayer, you need a vampire to find Rack,” Spike sounds smug and she can’t wait to wipe that smirk off his face.

 

“Or a witch,” she says pointing at Amy who she still has a firm grip on, “and lookie here I already have one.”

 

It’s now her turn to look smug and Spike’s turn to look furious.

 

“Amy can find Rack?” Buffy asks and Faith and Amy both nod.

 

“Then go away, Spike,” Buffy says firmly, moving towards Faith and Amy. Faith grins to herself. That strength she’s always admired in B is still there. She just needed a little nudge to find it.

 

“But, you’ll need me to help with the fighting!” Spike yells as they start to leave the alley.

 

“Not with two slayers,” Buffy says, not even turning to look at him as she continues to walk away, Faith falling into step behind her. For now she’ll keep her comment about ‘The Chosen Two’ being back in action to herself.

 

* * *

 

 

“You saved me,” Dawn says, breaking the silence they’ve been walking in for the last few minutes.

 

“Well B did all the grunt work,” Faith shrugs, keeping her arm around the young girls waist as she leads her towards the hospital. It feels crazy to think earlier that day Dawnie didn’t want Faith in the same house as her and now she’s letting her take her to the ER. Magic crack houses, car crashes and broken bones can change things quickly.

 

“You still helped,” Dawn continues, looking a little awed.

 

It had been kind of badass. She and Buffy had turned up right in time to find a crashed car, an injured Dawn and a juiced up Red with a demon right on their tail. She had managed to protect Dawn while Buffy had faced off with the demon. And then Willow, eyes a wicked black, had burnt the demon in a display of violence even Faith found slightly shocking.

 

Less badass had been finding out Red was the reason Dawnie had a major cut on her head and what was very clearly a broken arm. Buffy’s anger in that moment had been the most emotion Faith had seen in her since she’d returned. And it was all aimed at Red.

 

“Kind of in the job description squirt. Anyway, how’s the arm?” Faith asks, feeling slightly uncomfortable with Dawn suddenly treating her like a useful human being.  Hell, she’s still not used to Buffy apparently trusting her enough to let her look after her little sister.

 

“Stop calling me squirt. I’m as tall as you now,” Dawn huffs and Faith laughs. There’s the brat she knows. Or well doesn’t given the whole fake memories thing, but still. She really needs to get someone to give her more information about that whole saga.

 

“And the arm is super painful. Like so painful you might want to get me some ice cream while the doctors look at me,” Dawn gives Faith a hopeful look and Faith finds herself giving a small nod.

 

She can see the hospital up ahead. Ice cream is really the least she can do. Plus it’ll keep her from pacing while she waits for Buffy to turn up. It's been a long day, but it's about to be an even longer night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying this story! The Buffy/Faith story is the focus, but it will be a slow burn as I'm trying to write this in a way that feels realistic and it will take time for s6 Buffy to a) fully believe in Faith and b) see her as a romantic interest. Feedback is always appreciated!


	4. Fading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith helps Buffy in more ways than one. Will Buffy start to find value in Faith being back in their lives? Will Buffy see value in her own life?
> 
> This is set during Gone (s6), though doesn't strictly follow canon given Faith's influence.

Things in the Summers house have been…well intense seems like too light a word for how things have been since Dawn broke her arm. Breakfast had consisted of Dawn glaring at Willow, who was trying to suck up by making some omelets that made prison food sound like a good option, and then glaring at Buffy, who was trying to make things right as always. Faith was 100% on board with the glaring at Red, but she really wasn’t impressed with Dawnie and Red letting B act like she was the only one failing to pay attention to her nearest and dearest.

Surprisingly Dawn was talking to Faith, which really just made Faith feel super uncomfortable. She wasn’t exactly used to be the only one not in the doghouse.

 

She’d excused herself when Xander had shown up to take Dawn to school, needing a break from all the Scooby drama.

 

She lights a cigarette as she sits on the bench on the front porch. She wants so badly to yell at everyone to get their heads out of their asses and be there for Buffy. She’s getting pretty close to just letting them all have it, consequences be damned.

 

“Are you Buffy Summers?”

 

She jumps slightly at the voice and looks up to see a middle aged woman looking at her and her cigarette distastefully.

 

“Nope. Name’s Faith, who are you?” she asks, looking the lady up and down. She’s all official looking and that immediately puts Faith on guard. Jail didn’t do much to make her like authority figures.

 

“My name is Doris Keller. I’m from Social Services. I have an appointment with Buffy Summers,” Doris says, still regarding Faith with a sour look. “There’s nothing in my notes about any Faith living here.”

 

“That would be cause I don’t live here. Just visiting,” Faith responds, putting her cigarette out. She’s had enough experience with these kinds of people to know she needs to help Buffy out here. Help make things seem happy and functional- even if that’s not entirely true.

 

“B- I mean uh Buffy is inside. Just getting Dawnie all ready for school. Healthy breakfast and homemade lunch and all that,” Faith gives the lady her best attempt at a wholesome smile.

 

Just then Dawn opens the front door, bounding out of the house with a scowl on her face and Xander following after her.

 

“Maybe we can find some time for you to get me into another car accident,” Dawn mumbles, not stopping as she heads towards Xander’s car.

 

So much for the happy and functional angle Faith had been working on.

 

“You must be Buffy,” Doris greets a baffled Buffy who is standing in the open doorway looking at the retreating Dawn.

 

“Um yes?” Buffy shoots Faith a confused look but at this point all Faith can do is shrug. “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Doris Keller. I’m here for your Social Services evaluation.”

 

“That’s for Wednesday,” Buffy splutters and in any other moment Faith would find it adorable, but fuck right now it’s not a good look.

 

“Wednesday at 11 right B? That’s what you had written down on the calendar,” Faith inserts herself into the conversation, grabbing Doris’ attention.

“Sorry Doris, she’s just been so busy lately she must have written the time down wrong.”

 

Doris doesn’t look like she’s entirely buying it, but she nods anyway.

 

“Right. Well we all make mistakes. How about I come inside and we can discuss how things are going with Dawn?” Doris doesn’t wait for a response and walks straight into the house.

 

Buffy gives Faith a grateful smile before turning and heading in as well. Faith sighs and steps back inside too. B might need a little help with this one.

 

Turns out it was pretty damn hard to avoid drama in this house.

 

* * *

 

 

“Thanks,” Buffy gives Faith a small smile that Faith returns. “I’m not sure I’ll be winning any parent of the year awards, but I don’t think they’re going to take Dawn from me.”

 

It’s been a few minutes since they said goodbye to Doris Keller and honestly things had gone…okay-ish.

Faith had helped smooth over a few little bumps in the road. And it wasn’t _really_ lying to talk up how Buffy was helping out her and Willow by letting them stay or to point out that in turn Buffy’s friends were giving Dawn a lot of support. Sure she skipped over the not so great parts and a little exaggeration had happened, but at the end of the day it was true that Dawnie had a lot of people who cared about her here.

 

“No problem, B,” Faith shrugs,  “Kind of had a bit to do with that lot growing up. Know what it is they want to hear so they’ll leave you alone.”

 

“Oh,” Buffy sounds a little awkward, like she’s not sure what to say. “So you umm dealt with Social Services in Boston?”

 

Talking about her childhood is never a fun time, but Faith figures she should try a little honesty here. The whole new leaf thing calls for a bit more openness and honesty.

 

“Yeah, ma was always drunk. Dad wasn’t around. People like that always show up cause they hear stories from the neighbors. And I ain’t saying they don’t mean well, but I was better off on my own with ma then in some fucking home waiting to be adopted or whatever,” she can hear herself getting angry so she pauses, taking a few sips of the coffee in front of her. She can’t look at Buffy though. Not for this.

 

“Got good at making them think I was okay. You figure out what boxes they want to tick before they’ll leave you alone,” she finishes and she feels Buffy’s hand on her arm. Surprised, she looks up and just as suddenly Buffy is drawing her hand away again. She sighs. She’ll take it.

 

“That’s- what I mean is thanks again, Faith,” Buffy gives her that small smile again, but this time there’s a kindness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.

 

“I know it’s not my place, but you’re doing okay with Dawnie, B. It’s right that she’s with you. The brat knows it too, she just won’t admit it cause well…she’s still a brat,” Faith finishes with a grin and earns a small laugh from Buffy.

 

“Anyway what’s the plan for the day? Magic Box to find out more about the museum?” Faith asks, trying to get things onto a less intense subject.

 

“Later, but actually right now I think I’m going to go get my hair cut,” Buffy says, playing with the ends of a lock of her hair. She looks weirdly serious for something like a haircut.

 

Faith kind of wants to tell her she’s always liked her hair. She decides against it though. Plus she knows she’ll probably like B’s hair no matter what. Loving someone seems to mean things like that, finding them hot no matter what their hair looks like. 

 

“Well, long as you make sure they also help you out with those roots,” Faith smirks. Buffy glares, but for once it’s playful.

It feels, for a moment, like things might be starting to get better.

 

* * *

 

 

“What the fuck do you mean? How can she be invisible?” Faith bellows at Xander and Anya who look slightly terrified.

 

She hadn’t heard from Buffy all day so she had decided to head to the Magic Box and see if she’d just gone there after the hairdresser. Instead she’d arrived to find out that not only was Buffy invisible now, but she was also missing.

 

“We think Willow did it by accident,” Anya says and Faith shakes her head.

 

Nah, Red was trying to be good with the magic. Plus they’d literally just thrown away all her magic supplies. Literally everything, even Dawn’s scented candles.

 

“And I think you need to look outside the Scooby gang,” Faith says firmly.

 

Just then Willow enters the shop and they all turn to look at her.

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting something,” Willow says as she takes in the scene she’s walked into.

 

“B’s invisible and missing because these two idiots couldn’t get her to stay here,” Faith glares at Anya and Xander.

 

“That’s not fair! You can’t make an invisible person stay still!” Xander yells, glaring right back at Faith.

 

“And who wouldn’t want to leave and go have fun messing with people if no one could see you? You could go and spy on gorgeous naked men or you could go and trip over that girl that was flirting with Xander at the coffee shop the other day or-“

 

“Wait she’s invisible?” Willow, thankfully, cuts Anya off, “how did she get invisible?”

 

“If we knew we wouldn’t be standing around here would we,” Faith bites out. God, she knows she’s being a bitch but she’s worried about Buffy.

 

“Look I’m no good at the research thing so why don’t you lot try and find that out and I’m going to go try and find little miss invisible,” Faith shrugs on a jacket and heads towards the door.

 

“We don’t have to listen to you,” Xander grumbles. She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t turn around.

 

“Actually she has a good point,” Anya says calmly, “she really wasn’t good at the research the other day. It is best if we do it and she looks for Buffy.”

 

She lets out a laugh as she reaches the door.

 

“Finally a sensible Scooby,” she calls out, turning around to give Anya a grin before she’s out the door and on a mission to find B.

 

* * *

 

 

“B?” Faith yells as she enters the Summers’ house, “come on B, I know you’re here.”

 

She can feel that Buffy is near. But, also she just tried to calm down an irate Dawn who seemed convinced Buffy didn’t want to be visible. Which is just dumb. Obviously B doesn’t want to stay invisible forever. Why would she?

 

“In here,” she hears Buffy’s voice from the kitchen and sees the phone dangling in the air. She walks over to the dangling phone, thinking that must be where Buffy is standing.  God this is weird. She feels like she's talking to air. 

 

“Well B, game time is over. I’ll grab you if I have to, but you’re coming with me,” Faith tries her best to sound authoritative even though she knows grabbing an invisible girl would be really hard. Especially an invisible girl that she already knows has a mean right hook.

 

“I don’t want to die,” Buffy whimpers. Faith’s not exactly sure why Buffy thinks going invisible will kill her, but it hurts to hear her voice like that. More than anything she wants to comfort her. 

 

“You’re not going to die, B. We’ll figure out whatever or whoever did this and you’ll be fine,” Faith tries to reach for the girl’s arms, but then decides better of it in case she pokes her in the eye or something.

 

“No you don’t understand. Xander just said if it’s not reversed I’ll fade into nothing and _god_ I don’t want to die!”

Wait why does Buffy almost sound like she’s laughing? Faith feels sick in her gut as it hits that this is fucking serious and Buffy is laughing?

 

“How the fuck is that funny, Buffy?” she yells, feeling angry tears start to form in her eyes. “I ain’t letting you die again. Twice was enough okay?”

 

“You don’t understand Faith, I’m scared to die,” invisible Buffy grabs her arms and the whole thing is just so weird. She wants so bad to be able to look into Buffy’s eyes right now. 

 

“I don’t get it,” she says frowning and she hears Buffy sigh as she lets go of Faith’s arms.

 

“I used to not be scared to die,” Buffy’s voice is almost a whisper and suddenly it clicks for Faith. Buffy being scared to die is a good thing. It means she cares about being here. The fact that at one point she didn’t…there’s no time to dwell on the cold that seems to grip Faith’s heart at the thought.

 

“Well lets go find a way to not die then.” Faith tries to hide the shake in her voice. They need to act now, not get caught up in the emotional moment. She grins as she remembers something from a long time ago.

 

“Remember the first rule of slaying?” she asks, hoping it’ll trigger the same memory for B.

 

“Don’t die,” Buffy replies and Faith can hear the smile in her voice. And she just knows that they’ve got this. Everything will be okay. 

 

* * *

 

 

Turns out the new self proclaimed Big Bad is three dweebs who think their nerdiness is going to have them beat The Chosen Two. True, they had managed to get away, but Faith isn’t that worried about them. Not when B is visible again. Not when B _wants_ to be around.

 

She’s still pretty freaked about how close she came to losing Buffy again. Getting to talk to her now, getting to see her smile _at_ Faith; she knows those things would make it even harder if B were to…

She shakes her head, no good focusing on that. Nothing happened and B’s okay.

 

She puts out the cigarette she’d been smoking on the front porch with her foot, before opening the front door a crack. Willow and Buffy had been having a long overdue chat in the living room and she doesn’t want to interrupt them if they’re not done. It’s not eavesdropping if she’s just trying not to ruin a bonding moment.

 

“It sounds weird to say but I think I’m glad Faith’s here,” she hears Buffy confess to Willow and her eyebrows shoot up.

 

 She really had been intending to close the door once she heard they were still talking, but yeah she’s totally eavesdropping now. Her hearts being all stupid again, pounding so loud she’s surprised the girls can’t hear it.

 

“She was really helpful today. I mean hello she found you when you were all invisible and then she helped us get that gun and make you all you like again,” Willow concedes.

 

“No, it’s not that. I mean that’s all great. But, it’s...” she hears Buffy sigh and even though she can’t see her Faith knows she’s probably running a hand through her hair all cute and frustrated. Her new hair looked wicked hot and Faith bets it looks even better all mused up. She can’t help but grin at the image.

 

“Something almost happened that I’m-well I’m going to say this fast, okay?" theres a pause in which Willow must nod.  "Spike and I kissed. Twice. And I think I almost let him…” the sentence hangs in the air but Faith knows what she means and anger curses through her. Not jealousy, just pure anger that fucking Spike would try and use Buffy’s vulnerability to weasel his way into fulfilling his fucked up fantasies.  She’s never wanted to stake a vampire so bad.

 

“Oh,” Willow sounds shocked, “you mean? Oh.”

 

“I know I feel icky even thinking about it. I just wanted so badly to _feel_ anything and here he was offering me…well an escape I guess? Then Faith showed up and she swept in and made him go away. She’s done that twice now and it’s just been like she’s been able to make my bad decisions go away. She even saved me today with-“

 

A cough makes Faith jump and she misses whatever Buffy was going to say next. Wide eyed she turns around and sees Tara standing behind her looking amused.

 

“Eavesdropping is rude you know,” Tara says, moving to close the door gently so the girls inside wont hear.

 

“I wasn’t-“

 

“You were,” Tara cuts her off and Faith hangs her head feeling a little ashamed. Only a little though, she won’t ever regret hearing Buffy say she likes having her around.

 

“You love her, don’t you?” Tara says softly.

 

And fuck does she have that stamped on her forehead? How can this chick who she’s barely spoken to know that?

 

“What? No. It’s not like-“

 

“Sweetie, I’m gay,” Tara cuts her off again with a laugh, “I’m also really good at reading people, Faith. And it won’t mean much coming from someone you don’t know, but I think you could be a good person.”

 

Faith snorts, “You were there when I stole B’s body, how can you possibly think that?”

 

“I can feel it,” Tara says with a mysterious smile. Like she knows something about Faith that Faith doesn't. 

 

“Look just don’t tell B. She doesn’t need to know, okay?” Faith pleads.

Things with Buffy are finally starting to be civil, she can’t lose that to Buffy finding out she’s in love with her. God, Buffy would feel sick knowing Faith loves her. 

 

“Hey, I would never do that,” Tara reassures her, “That’s your secret to tell, not mine.”

 

“Thanks,” Faith breathes a sigh of relief and offers Tara a smile.

 

“What you here for so late anyway?” she asks and this time Tara's the one who looks lost for words.

 

“I-uh-well-uh I wanted to see if everyone was okay? I heard- I mean Dawn told me there was a lot going on,” Tara looks so awkward and Faith feels for the girl. Love is a rough game. 

 

“Red’s okay. That’s who you’re asking about, right? Want to go see her?” Faith gestures to the door, moving to head back inside herself. She’s missed all the good parts of the conversation between B and Red anyway so she might as well interrupt them.

 

Tara flushes bright red before shaking her head.

 

“No, it was stupid of me to come here,” Tara turns away from a thoroughly confused Faith and starts to move away from the house. She stops, turning back to Faith. “Can you not tell anyone I was here? I’m just-I’m not ready.”

 

Faith nods and Tara gives her a sad smile before walking away from the house.

Man, love really can be a bitch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the update! Slow burn but we're starting to see Buffy opening up to Faith more and Faith also opening up to Buffy. Feedback always appreciated!!


	5. Beginning of Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doublemeat Palace won't know what hit it when it gains not one Slayer but two as employees. Will all the extra time together be good for Buffy and Faith?
> 
> This is set during the Doublemeat Palace episode of Buffy, though it ignores a lot of the plot of that particular episode.

 

Buffy is hot always. In Faith’s mind that is an undeniable fact. Sure, sometimes she looks super hot and sometimes she just looks regular hot, but Faith has never seen her look anything less than smoking since the day they met.

 

However, right now she’s questioning that fact for the first very time. Cause the uniform she’s currently in is potentially the most hideous thing Faith has ever seen. The bright orange is so glaring Faith thinks she might need sunglasses to look at it. But, that’s nothing compared to the freaky smiling cow practically jumping off the front of the matching orange baseball cap.

 

“Did Halloween come early?” she asks with a smirk and receives a Buffy Summers death stare for her cheek.

 

“I wish. I have to wear this for my new job,” Buffy drops the death glare with a weary sigh.

 

It’s moments like this where she wishes she could hug Buffy or do _anything_ to take that defeated look off her face. Things between her and Buffy have been getting better, especially now Faith knows Buffy really is glad to have her here, but they’re not really at a hugging stage. Faith’s not much of a hugger anyway, never received many and never dished many out. She does _want_ to hug Buffy though. Just hold her in her arms and make her feel all safe and comforted. It’s weird, all the new things Buffy makes her want to do.

She’s not dumb enough to think she has a chance of acting on those feelings though. Not that that stops her from wishing she could find a way to help.

 

Huh. An idea forms in her head and she grins to herself. Maybe she could help B out and gain herself a few brownie points on the friendship front at the same time.

 

 “Oh yeah that Doublemeat Palace gig,” Faith begins nonchalantly, “hey you think they might have anything for an ex con with no record?”

 

Buffy’s eyes go wide as she stares at Faith, “wait-why-what?”

 

“Figure shouldn’t stay here for free, B. Plus, I think it’s ‘bout time I tried to see if I can make even ugly cow hats hot,” she shrugs and before she can blink she’s got a Buffy in her arms.

 

Her eyes are wide and her hands have no idea what to do, but Buffy is squeezing her waist and her hair smells so damn good. She fits so _right_.

It’s over before Faith can think about hugging back and Buffy’s looking at her all awkward like, but man if she isn’t already thinking of ways she can get that to happen again.

 

“Thanks Faith,” Buffy says after she’s put a respectable distance between them, not really looking Faith in the eyes. Her cheeks are tinged pink and her eyes look brighter than Faith has seen them since she returned. She looks fucking beautiful and Faith can’t help but fall a little more in love.

 

Fuck it, Buffy apparently does look hot even in the worlds ugliest uniform.

 

* * *

 

 

The Doublemeat Palace is wild. The number one suspect thing in Faith’s opinion is how many people actually eat this crap. Sunnydale may not be the best place in terms of food options, but the diner down the road is just as cheap and it has some great ribs. Everything here tastes awful except the fries. And really it's hard to get fries wrong.

 

Still, Faith doesn’t mind it. It’s easy work and she makes some cash that she can hand over to B to help with all the bills. It’s also the first time she’s been hired to do something that isn’t violent.

 

The best part though is what’s happening right now, working right next to Buffy. While it doesn’t come close to their synchronized slaying, they’ve got a really great rhythm going on here flipping burgers and serving customers. They’ve been getting food out so fast that they’ve even managed to get a few of the losers who eat here smiling.

 

“How’s it looking up front, B?” Faith asks as she wipes her hands on a rag, moving away from the grill and to the front where Buffy is dutifully waiting by a register.

 

“Quiet. A nice quiet that will probably only last another ten minutes or so,” Buffy replies with a groan as she looks to the clock.

 

Buffy hoists herself up on the counter so she’s facing Faith. Faith grabs a carton and fills it with some fries, offering them to Buffy as she moves to sit next to her. She loves these little moments. It’s become a bit of a habit since they both started working here last week, finding a moment of peace together to just sit and share some fries. It feels like they’re maybe kind of finally becoming friends.

 

“How’s the gang going with finding out more ‘bout our new ‘arch nemesis’?” Faith makes sure to extra exaggerate the air quotes around the last part, earning herself a playful eye roll from Buffy.

 

“Not much to tell on that front. They really didn’t leave anything useful at their old place,” Buffy shrugs.

 

“Apart from all the signs that they’re going to be virgins till they die,” Faith grins, catching Buffy’s eye and they both dissolve into giggles. The Trio’s old hideout had been one giant nerd fantasy in the creepiest way imaginable.

 

“I don’t know, maybe the pornographic action figures get some girls turned on,” Buffy tries to sound thoughtful, but she’s clearly trying not to smirk.

 

“Those were kind of hot, B. What’s not is thinking about many times those asshole nerds probably came all over them. Wicked nasty,” Faith mocks gagging, but Buffy’s just staring at her with her mouth open.

 

“Oh my god. Eww, Faith!” Buffy finally gets out. Then she shoves Faith in a playful way, but the Slayer strength sends Faith flying into the next cash register and onto the floor.

 

And then they’re both laughing like fools. Doubled over and breathing hard as they try and control themselves. More customers will be coming soon. But, fuck it sounds so beautiful hearing B laugh like that again and Faith just wants to sink in it.

A warmth settles over her that feels something like happiness.

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh great,” Buffy mumbles, the irritation in her voice making Faith look up from her register to see why B’s mood has soured so much.

 

She rolls her eyes when she sees that the reason for Buffy’s change in attitude is their next customer. Fucking Spike.

 

“Didn’t know there was a two for one special today,” Spike leers at them both as he reaches the counter.

 

“Didn’t think you could look much worse, William. But, damn if this lighting doesn’t highlight how badly you need a bit of sun,” Faith smirks at him and glares right back at her.

 

“Wouldn’t want to piss off the paying customer or I might let slip to the manager about your time in jail.”

 

And fuck he kind of has her there. Sure she doesn’t have a record anymore, but still she doesn’t want to get fired. She can't disappoint Buffy again. 

 

“Now that’s settled. How about you run along and get me a serving of nuggets and a large serving of fries” Spike slams a twenty on the counter and Faith reluctantly gets to work on Spike’s order.

 

She knows B can handle herself, but she’s pretty sure Spike’s being saying _something_ that’s been getting to Buffy lately.  So she focuses on getting the fries and nuggets out as quickly as possible so she can get back to Buffy.

 

It’s done within a few minutes and as she approaches the counter with the food she can see Spike speaking urgently to Buffy.

 

Faith slams Spike’s order on the counter, grabbing both Buffy and Spike’s attention.

 

“Order’s up,” she bites out and Spike reluctantly takes the unappealing food, before turning back to Buffy.

 

“You’re unhappy here,” he says matter-of-factly, “I can see it. You don’t belong here. You're something...You’re better than this.”

 

“I need the money,” Buffy responds, looking solemn. Then as if remembering something, she turns and looks at Faith and a smile lights up her face, “plus Faith would get so bored without me here to criticize her cooking techniques.”

 

Faith grins at her, dimples showing.  This teasing banter, Buffy’s smile and that small spark in her eyes- it’s how Faith knows just being here is helping with the burden a little.

 

“I can get you money. I can find it some-“

 

“Just fuck off William,” Faith snaps, pissed off that he ruined her moment with B. “No one wants your dirty money. No one wants you around at all. Don't you get it? We don’t _need_ you.”

 

“Buffy wants me around,” Spike says, though he doesn’t look so sure.

 

“No I don’t,” Buffy says fiercely, “I don’t think you’re really helping me. Not anymore.”

 

His face darkens and he slaps Buffy hard across the face. They’re lucky there’s a lull in customers and even luckier that they’re the only two people here, because Faith can’t stop herself from leaping the counter and tackling him to the ground. She punches him hard in the face, but instead of grimacing in pain he laughs. She stares down at him, completely thrown by his maniacal laughter.

 

“Don’t you see? I can hit her now. Never could before. She came back wrong and I can see the demon in her,” Spike smiles a sick twisted little smile and Faith pummels her fist into his jaw. Then she breaks his nose. There’s blood everywhere and he isn’t laughing anymore.

 

“I’m going to let you up and you’re going to leave without another word,” Faith growls out, pulling a stake out from her uniform and holding it against his chest. Dickhead has the good sense to look terrified. “Come near us again and I will stake you. Chip or no chip.”

 

She presses the stake down just a little, just above his heart. She wants to be sure he knows she isn’t fucking playing around.

 

She gets up and watches as he leaves, giving Buffy one last pointed look on his way out the door.

 

Turning she notices that through all of that Buffy hadn’t moved. She’s standing completely still, arms wrapped around herself as she stares unfocused out into the empty restaurant.

 

Faith hops back over the counter and without a thought wraps Buffy in her own arms. She doesn’t have time to even worry if it’s the wrong move because Buffy’s arms wrap around her too as she buries her face in Faith’s neck. Faith’s heart tightens because now she can feel the hot tears on Buffy's cheeks. She squeezes her just a little tighter.

 

“He’s wrong, B. I know it. There’s no demon in you. I would feel it. We’ll find out why he can hit you.  But, you gotta know he’s wrong,” Faith whispers urgently.

“We can get Tara to do a spell so Red don’t have to and-fuck I don’t know what else. But, we’ll figure it out. Promise.”

 

It’s quiet for a minute as Faith just holds Buffy, but she can feel the tears have stopped. She wonders if she should feel embarrassed by how emotional she just got. But, she can’t bring herself to care. It’s Buffy. She’s always emotional about Buffy.

 

“He’s wrong,” Buffy whispers at last and Faith smiles a little to herself. They’re getting somewhere.

 

* * *

 

  

Sleep had been hard to come by last night after she and Buffy had returned from work. Things had been fine again by the end of the shift and they’d agreed to talk to Tara together about it, but Faith had been so amped up from the intensity of it all that she hadn’t got a wink of sleep. She just kept going over what Spike had said and how Buffy had let her hold her. Part of her feels wrong for how much she enjoyed being the one to hold B and comfort her. But, a bigger part of her just feels good. She can’t deny that.

 

The lack of sleep is why even though it’s only 5.30 am she’s already in the Summers’ kitchen starting on her second cup of coffee.

 

“Oh, I didn’t expect anyone else to be up.”

 

Faith turns around to see Willow standing at the entry to the kitchen looking nervous.

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Faith mumbles, then quirks an eyebrow at the other girl, “figure you can’t either if you’re up at this dumb hour so there’s coffee made if you need it.”

 

Willow looks surprised, but goes to grab herself a cup anyway. This is weird. Faith’s pretty sure she hasn’t been alone with Red since she came back to Sunnydale.

 

They sit in an awkward silence for a while, just sipping their coffees. Lost in their own reasons for being up this early.

 

“B told me about you sending off Amy,” Faith says abruptly. Definitely not the smoothest conversation opener, but the silence had been bugging her.

 

“Yeah,” Willow says absentmindedly, stirring her coffee and taking a sip. Then her eyes snap up to meet Faith’s.

 

“She tells you things, doesn’t she? Buffy I mean.”

 

It’s oddly familiar having Red stare at her like this. Takes Faith right back to that first time she’d been in Sunnydale and the weirdly intense jealousy Red had towards her friendship with B back then.

 

“Sure. I mean we slay together and we work together so we chat. That a crime?” she challenges. She was over Red’s possessiveness of Buffy years ago.

 

Willow blinks, her face softening a little, “No I mean-I saw you two at the Doublemeat Palace the other day when we all came in to try and cheer up Buffy. She was laughing when we came in. You were all smiles and giggles together. She hasn’t been like that- well it's been in a long time. And now she’s only like that with you.”

 

Oh. Faith feels a certain amount of pride at being the only one that can make Buffy smile, but she can also hear the regret and bitterness in Willow’s voice. It’s bothering Red that Faith can bring that out in B when she can’t anymore.

 

“Me and B have always managed to get under each others skin. It’s just how we are and right now that’s a good thing,” Faith says with confidence. She wants Willow to know she’s not going to apologize for being able to help Buffy where they can’t.

 

Willow nods in understanding, but says nothing and goes back to her coffee. It’s silent again as they both finish their drinks.

 

Then Willow rises to leave and Faith wonders if she should say something to her

 

“You know you did the right thing with Amy. Brave really. It’s hard to let go of something that feels so good, even when you know it’s no good for you,” Faith blurts out before she can stop herself and Willow pauses at the door.

 

The two girls regard each other for a moment. They have more in common than they’d like to admit.

 

“I’m glad you’re here” Willow replies, “we all missed Buffy’s smile.”

 

With that Faith feels a little better about her lack of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter! I'm rather fond of this one. It felt good finally establishing Faith and Buffy as friends. The next chapter is going to be rather intense for them, so I wanted to establish that Buffy does enjoy Faith's company here. As always, feedback is very much appreciated!!


	6. Repeat the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith slowly begins to be accepted into the Scooby Gang. But, it's almost like Buffy doesn't feel like she belongs there anymore. And Faith is forced to wonder if she can ever really escape her past?
> 
> This is set during Dead Things, which means as with everything in this fic it just takes some of the events of that episode into the canon of this story.

 

After Buffy called saying she needed some help, Tara had agreed to eat lunch with them during their break at work. Which meant eating Doublemeat Plaza burgers. Faith’s pretty sure that’s all that’s needed to prove that Tara really is a top chick.

**“** So what do you think it could be? Chip malfunction?” Faith asks Tara as soon as they’re done explaining to her that Spike can hit Buffy now.

 

“Can he hit you?” Tara asks Faith who immediately shakes her head, “then it’s unlikely it's the chip."

 

“And I definitely didn’t come back wrong?” Buffy asks quietly. It's almost like she's afraid to even ask the question.

 

“No, I don’t think you did sweetie,” Tara smiles gently, covering Buffy’s hand with her own. “But, I can do a few spells and make sure if it will make you feel better?”

 

Buffy nods and gives Tara a grateful smile. Faith can tell that it’s still bugging B, the thought that maybe something did go wrong when she was brought back. She’s also pretty confident that’s not what’s up and she’s glad she’s got Tara as back up.

Tara really is her favourite non-Buffy Scooby.

 

“How’s school going?” Faith asks Tara, moving the conversation away from Spike. 

 

“How did you know Tara was still in school?” Buffy asks Faith, looking confused. B’s freaking adorable when she’s all confused.

 

“What? Tara and I chat sometimes,” Faith answers with a shrug, “now quit interrupting  and let her answer the question. Not everything is about your drama, B.”

 

She flicks a fry at Buffy who looks indignant for a moment before she tosses one back at Faith, poking her tongue out at her for good measure. Tara grins knowingly at Faith as she watches the playfulness between the two. And fuck it Faith can feel her cheeks turning a little red. Tara better not start teasing her about her feelings for Buffy or else Anya will have to be her favourite non-Buffy Scooby.

 

“Schools okay, just takes up a lot of time. It’s still a little weird being back in the dorms,” Tara answers, her smile getting a little sad.

 

Faith gets a little fidgety as they skim around the elephant in the room. She wasn’t here for the whole ‘Tara and Willow’ saga, but she’s not blind. They’re both still stupid in love with each other.

 

“We miss you,” Buffy says sincerely, “I get why you left. I do. I just wish we could see you more. Dawnie does too.”

 

“I miss you guys too. I’ll try to stop by more. I definitely will once I’ve done these spells for you. It’s just…”

 

“Hard,” Buffy finishes for her with an understanding smile. 

 

“You know, Tara,” Faith starts, drawing Buffy and Tara’s attention away from the elephant in the room and back to her.  “I’m going to have to hold you to that promise to hang out more. The world needs one Scooby with a brain.”

 

Faith grins cheekily at them as Buffy rolls her eyes. Then Buffy and Tara are sharing a look and, before she can say anything else, Faith has two fries flying at her head.

 

Well at least she managed to lighten the mood.

 

* * *

 

 

 Whoever taught Anya and Xander to dance is probably a demon- actually kind of likely given Anya’s past. The wild flailing they’re currently doing in the middle of the Bronze is anything but graceful or co-ordinated.

 

“Man I hope they take some lessons before the wedding,” Faith comments with a laugh as she, Willow and Buffy watch the happy couple tear up the dance floor.

 

“I just hope we don’t have to dance like _that_ at the wedding,” Willow looks mildly alarmed by the idea.

 

It’s the first time since Faith’s been back in town that she’s been out with the whole Scooby Gang and it’s…well it’s kind of weird. They seem to believe she’s not about to try and murder them, but they’re still not exactly wanting to hang with her. B does though. She had insisted on Faith coming and because that made Faith feel all kinds of smug, here they all are. 

 

The weirdest thing about it is that it’s Buffy who seems the most out of place. At work or out slaying, when it’s just the two of them, Buffy seems like she’s doing okay. Her smile reaches her eyes, she laughs, they talk and she teases Faith. But here surrounded by all her best friends? It’s awkward, like she forgotten how to be their best friend. Sure, Buffy still talks and makes a few jokes, but Faith can see she’s sinking into herself rather than taking comfort in their company.

 

“I see sitting when yet there should be dancing,” Xander says as he and Anya dance up to the table. Faith’s surprised Xander’s moves don’t knock over their drinks.

 

“Come share in the joy of our grove thang,” Anya adds before twirling back out into the throng of dancing bodies.

 

“Despite that I think I will succumb to the beat,” Willow says as she rises from her seat and looks expectantly at Buffy and Faith.

 

“I’ll catch the next Soul Train out,” Buffy says with a clearly forced smile and Faith frowns at her. She doesn’t get it, B loves dancing. 

 

“You sure?” Xander asks Buffy who nods, so he turns his attention to Faith. “How about you Faith? Ready to strut?”

 

“Nah, got to try and work out what sweet moves of mine will top you and Anya before I strut my stuff,” she teases him.

 

“Well then I expect to see you eating our dust once you’ve realized you’ve got nothing,” he says with a triumphant grin before he dances off towards Anya and Willow. She chuckles a little at his ridiculousness, before turning to Buffy who is just staring at her empty beer glass.

 

“What’s up?” Faith asks and Buffy looks up from her beer glass. She seems surprised that Faith is still there.

“Just not really my song,” Buffy shrugs and Faith can tell that’s bull. The song has a great beat and it’s just like the ones she and B used to dance to all the time.

 

“Not buying it. What’s really the problem?” Faith stares Buffy down. Ever since they started working together, Faith feels a lot more comfortable calling Buffy out.

 

“It’s complicated,” Buffy sighs.

 

“I know I missed some stuff, but B they’re you’re best friends.”

 

“That’s why it’s complicated!” Buffy almost knocks over Faith’s drink in her frustration. “They expect so much from me and I don’t-I don’t know if I can be what they want anymore.”

 

“I think all they want from you right now is for you to shake your groove thang and have some fun,” Faith says gently, placing a hand on Buffy’s arm.

 

“Faith-it’s not that simple. God, I wish it was.”

Buffy sounds so frustrated, and honestly Faith kind of  gets it. But, she also thinks there's a whole lot of eggshell walking going on that doesn't need to be happening.

 

“Could be,” Faith shrugs, she’s pretty damn sure it is that simple. Buffy and the Scoobies are all acting so unsure of each other and what they really need is to just cut the crap and enjoy each other. Stop pretending everything is fine and with time everything will actually be fine again.

 

“Anyway why don’t we try. Can’t hurt.  Hell at the very least we need to show this joint someone in this group knows how to dance.”

 

Faith gets up from her seat with a teasing smile, holding a hand out for Buffy tot take. Buffy still looks a little weary.

 

“C’mon B, I know you love to dance,” Faith practically begs.

 

“Okay. But, only because I do love to dance,” Buffy smiles that adorable little half smile of hers and takes Faith’s hand.

 

Faith leads them out onto the dance floor, doing her best to ignore how nice Buffy’s slightly smaller hand feels in her own. Soft and warm. It’s gone before she can get used to it though as they both start dancing to the music- standing opposite each other, but deliberately not dancing together.

 

The beat is perfect and soon they’re dancing just like they used to. Moving closer as they lose themselves in the song. It’s both too close and not close enough for Faith. Her hearts beating fast and she wants to just reach out and touch Buffy. To bring her in even closer so that they’re dancing against each other, not just in front of each other.

Instead she settles for grabbing one of Buffy’s hands and bringing their joint hands above their heads. For a second their eyes meet and Faith wiggles her eyebrows a little. And then they’re laughing, moving together in a way that’s just like old times. Except it’s better. And it’s worse. Better because they’re really friends now. Worse because Faith knows that’s all she’ll ever get from Buffy.

 

Suddenly the song changes, it’s a slower beat. And _oh_.  Faith knows this one. Though she’s more into the Joan Jett version.

_Ah, now I don’t hardly know her_

Their hands are still clasped together, though they drop from above their heads to hang awkwardly between them. Buffy stops moving, like she’s unsure what to do now the song is slower. More intimate.

          _But, I think I could love her_

Faith can feel herself blush a little at the lyrics. This song always made her think of Buffy when she had been in Sunnydale the first time. Maybe it still kind of does.

They’re just staring at each other. And Faith can hardly take it with Buffy’s hand in hers and those green eyes seeming to see straight through her.

            _Crimson and Clover_

She drops Buffy’s hand and her gaze falls to the floor. Moment over.

 

“Yo, I could really use another drink. Want one B?” Faith asks, ignoring Buffy’s puzzled stare. Buffy nods, still looking wicked confused and without another word Faith heads towards the bar.

 

Fuck, that had been too much.

 

* * *

 

 

Slaying is only fun when there’s vampires or demons to kill. And so far tonight Faith has seen nada. She’s circled around three of Sunnydale’s cemeteries and still not even a lousy newbie vamp. She’s officially bored.

 

Ever since they’d all gone to the Bronze, Faith has been avoiding Buffy a little. Trying to make sure she had shifts that weren’t with just Buffy at Doublemeat Palace and insisting that they split up on patrols to save time. She misses her something crazy. Which is dumb because she still sees her at the Summers’ house, but it’s not the same. She just needs a little space. She can’t have Buffy finding out about her feelings for her. It would destroy everything.

 

So as bored as she is and as much as she misses Buffy and the friendship they were forming, she knows this patrolling alone is for the best.

 

“AHHH”

 

Well a piercing scream is definitely one way to kick start the night. Faith sprints off towards the sound, her Slayer senses taking over as she moves into the nearby woods. It feels good to move like this. Like this is how her body is meant to be moving, fast and with purpose.  This is just what she needs to get her mind off-

 

“Buffy?”  

 

 

Faith can only see her back, but she knows that’s her. Buffy doesn’t react at all to Faith, she’s just stays staring at something on the ground. Faith moves closer to see what it is.

 

Fuck. It’s a body. They’re too late. It's a girl-she looks like she could have been their age. Faith feels a little queasy, the whole redemption thing means this part hurts more than it used to.

 

“Shit, B what happened? Did you see what did this?” Faith asks frantically and again Buffy doesn’t react. “C’mon B no time to freeze! We got to find what did this.”

 

“I did. I – I killed her.”

 

Faith knows her eyes go comically wide, but what?

 

“Was she a demon?” she asks, because surely that’s the only explanation here.

 

Buffy just shakes her head, eyes watering as she continues to stare at the body.

 

“It-there were demons-she got in the way-I didn’t see-“

 

And then Faith has a sobbing Buffy in her arms. This time it doesn’t feel good though. Faith can’t indulge in this. Because this has to be a joke, some sick nightmare she’s going to wake up from. She blinks, willing herself to wake up. 

 

This can’t be happening again.

 

* * *

 

  

Faith’s shaking a little as she reaches the Summers’ house. She’d thought she was done with disposing of bodies. But, fuck what else was she meant to do? Buffy had been distraught as she’d half carried her home earlier and she’d just known that she had to get rid of the evidence. She had to protect Buffy. She wasn't going to let anything bad happen to B over some accident. 

It felt like _that_ night all over again. She hadn’t delivered the fatal wound this time, but as she had buried the body deep in the woods all she could see was Alan Finch's unmoving eyes staring up at her.

 

She needs a hot shower and some meditation time. Her mind is not being kind to her right now. She needs to be okay so she can talk to Buffy in the morning.

 

“Buffy!”

 

Dawn races down the stairs as Faith opens the front door. Which is very weird because it’s currently 1 am and a school night.  Also Buffy is asleep up in her room.

 

“No squirt, B’s upstairs. I just went out for another patrol,” Faith lies. Dawnie doesn’t need to know about everything that goes bump in the night.

 

“No she just ran out!” Dawn sounds hysterical, tears falling steadily as she approaches Faith. “She told me about the girl and she’s gone to tell the police. She’s leaving me again!”

 

For the second time that night, Faith has a sobbing Summers' woman in her arms. 

But, she doesn’t have time to be Dawn’s shoulder to cry on. She’s got to stop Buffy from making a stupid decision. She gently pushes Dawn away from her. Her puffy red eyes are almost as heartbreaking as Buffy’s had been earlier.

 

“Dawnie, don’t cry,” Faith says, gently wiping a few of the tears away from Dawn’s cheeks, “I’ll go and stop her. B doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ll fix it.”

  

 “You promise?” Dawn looks a little hopeful as she uses her sleeve to wipe away the rest of her tears.

 

“I promise,” Faith answers confidently, giving Dawn a weak smile before she heads back to the door.

 

She really hopes this is a promise she can keep.

 

* * *

 

 

By some miracle she makes it to the police station before Buffy can go inside. Buffy’s staring up at the 'Police' sign, lost in her own little world. Faith sneaks up on her, grabbing her arm dragging her into the alley next to the station before Buffy can even react.

 

“What the hell Faith?” Buffy yells, tugging herself free from Faith’s grip.

 

“I can’t let you do that, B.”

 

Faith moves to stand in front of Buffy, blocking her path. She knows Buffy could get past, but if she tries that then Faith isn’t completely opposed to a little violence. She doesn’t want to, but if it’ll stop Buffy making a mistake then she will knock her out.

 

“I have to tell them what happened. I killed that girl.”

 

“How are you gonna explain the time shifting demons, B? It was an awful fucking accident and none of this is okay. But, fuck you won’t be able to explain all this to the police. They won’t believe you,” Faith says, trying to stay calm. But, she’s genuinely terrified right now. Buffy can’t turn herself in. She just _can’t_.

 

“They’ll believe the dead body,” Buffy says matter-of-factly. She’s really not backing down on this.

 

 “There is no body. I took care of it.”

 

Buffy’s eyes go wide in horror and Faith just knows that they’re both right back at _that_ night. Shit that definitely hadn’t been the right thing to say. The deja-vu is too much. She can feel her body shaking slightly. Just looking at the dumpster at the end of the alley makes her want to throw up.

 

“My god Faith have you learnt nothing? We can’t just kill people and then cover it up!” Buffy sounds furious, but then her face crumples and she looks so close to tears.  “Oh god, I thought-I was so sure you had changed.”

 

Faith feels like there’s a knife in her chest all over again. Twisting in her gut, like a physical reminder of how much she’s fucking up right now.

 

“I have!” Faith yells, her voice faltering a little. Because has she? Right now she doesn’t feel that different.

She shakes her head a little as if to clear out the bad thoughts. This is different. She has changed. Last time every decision she had made had been about saving her own ass. This time she’s not being selfish.

“I _am_ different,” she says defiantly, “B, this isn’t about me. This is about how you don’t need to punish yourself for an accident caused by some seriously fucked up demons.”

 

“No, you really haven’t changed," Buffy snaps, her eyes flashing with anger. "We can’t just make mistakes that kill innocent people and go on like nothing happened. You still don’t get it, do you?”

 

Buffy's looking at Faith like they're right back where they were when Buffy screamed at her on Angel's roof. She just won’t listen to reason and Faith feels herself getting angry. _God_ , Buffy gets under her skin sometimes.

 

“Fine you don’t think I’ve changed? That’s fine. But I won’t stand by and let you go to jail.”

 

“Someone has to pay for what happened,” Buffy says quietly, all the anger leaving her voice. To Faith it sounds like giving up.

 

“Then I will,” Faith blurts out without a thought.

 

Finally Buffy looks her straight in the eye.

 

“What?”

 

Faith steps slowly closer to Buffy and takes her hands in her own.

 

“I’ll go in and tell them I did it. Should still be serving time anyway. That way you can stay here and do good. You’re better at it than me,” she gives Buffy a small smile as she stares at her dumbfounded face.

 

This is how she can help. She can fall on the sword this time.

 

“Why? Why on earth would you do that for me?” Buffy asks, her voice breaking a little. And Faith can’t do anything to stop the tears that force their way out of her eyes. How can Buffy not see? How can she not know how much she’s worth to the world? To Faith?

 

She sighs, stepping away from Buffy and dropping her hands as she runs them through her own hair. It’s time. She’s gotta be honest here. It _hurts_ holding it in.

 

“Because I love you, Buffy. God, B I love you so fucking much.”

 

And the silence that follows is deafening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Faith has finally said it which is obviously going to change things with Buffy a lot. This is my longest chapter and also my favourite so far. I hope some of you like it as much as I do. Please leave feedback!!
> 
> Also I tend not to like including songs in fics too much, but I was listening to Crimson and Clover the other day and it just sort of slotted itself right in there. Plus Faith totally would have loved the Joan Jett version.


	7. What is this feeling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Buffy react to Faith's confession? Could she possibly have some feelings for Faith too?
> 
> This chapter is set during Older and Far Away, though as always with this fic that simply means that some of the events from that episode are canon in this particular story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far this story has been told from Faith's POV and it will continue to mostly be from her perspective, but this chapter felt like the perfect opportunity to take a peak inside Buffy's mind. So we switch to Buffy's POV for this chapter.

The thud of the front door opening shocks Buffy awake before she’s even managed to drift completely off to sleep. She groans and gets up quickly, she doesn’t trust that whoever just burst into the house is a friend. In Sunnydale you can never trust that.

 

Buffy hasn’t slept a solid eight hours since she was fifteen. That was the price of being The Slayer. Functioning off very little sleep is something she is used to, especially since her friends had brought her back. Sleeping was just hard to do when she never really felt peaceful. Sure, she gets enough to get by, but she hasn’t been able to enjoy a good nights rest in a very long time. But, even by her normal standards, the last twenty-four hours have made her exhausted down to her very bones. She’d been so looking forward to just passing out in her haze of exhaustion for a while.

 

She reaches the bottom of the stairs in mere seconds and there standing before her is-

 

“B” Faith whispers, staring at Buffy like she’s unsure she’s really seeing her. Buffy’s hit by the smell of booze coming off Faith in waves as she takes in the sight of the girl before her.  She notes that Faith is in the same clothes she was in at the station last night, the same clothes she was in when she told Buffy she loves her.

 

God, this seems so typical that Faith would tell her she loved her and then drink all night and come home looking like a textbook example of the walk of shame. This is exactly what she would expect from the Faith she knew three years ago. This Faith, the one she’d been getting to know over the past few months, well it didn’t really seem so typical to her. She feels stupid.

 

“What happened at the station? Did they not-“

 

She cuts Faith off by turning on her heel and heading towards the stairs again.

 

“B, please. I get I fucked up, but talk to me,” she hears Faith beg. But, she can’t. She’s hurt and angry and confused. It’s all just too much and she can’t look at Faith right now.

 

“Ask Dawn,” she says curtly, heading up the stairs and throwing herself onto her bed. She fights back tears, feeling grateful that Faith has the sense to not follow her. This is all just so ridiculous. She has no right or reason to be this hurt and angry.

 

She was the one who had just shoved past Faith after that confession, ignoring her calls for Buffy to come back as she had headed into the police station. She’s the one who had run off when she heard the name Katrina and just knew Warren had something to do with it. It had all just been too much. She got so caught up in the relief she felt when she found out she hadn’t actually killed someone that for a moment she had let the exhaustion take her and she had forgotten about Faith’s confession and how she’d just left her in that alley.

 

She can’t blame Faith for taking comfort in alcohol and likely some stranger. But, it doesn’t stop it from hurting. Even if it shocks her that it does.

 

She isn’t at all ready to deal with thinking about why it’s making her heart ache. For now she just wants to sleep.

 

* * *

 

  

“I did all the spells,” Tara explains to Buffy as they sit in the living room, “and there’s nothing to indicate you came back wrong. You’re the same as you’ve always been.”

 

She didn’t come back wrong. She’s the same as she was before she died. That should be comforting. But, why does she still feel so different?

 

“Are you sure?” Buffy asks quietly. There has to be _something_. Anything to explain why it all just feels like she can’t ever be the girl she used to be.

 

“Yes, I promise you,” Tara says gently, her eyes kind as she takes Buffy’s hands in her own.

 

Buffy feels so grateful for Tara. It feels wrong that they’re closer now than they were when Tara was still with Willow. That it’s only now she’s really seeing how perfect Tara is for her best friend.

 

She’s not wrong. She’s the same as she’s always been. Maybe if she keeps repeating it in her head she’ll start to believe it.

 

“Is there something else, Buffy?” Tara asks when Buffy says nothing.

 

For a second she contemplates lying and saying there’s nothing, but Tara has never judged her for anything. It feels like she should reward that with honesty. 

 

“Faith told me she loves me,” Buffy blurts out and Tara raises an eyebrow. But, weirdly she doesn’t seem at all surprised. Which freaks Buffy out a little

 

“Uh Tara, that’s usually the sort of thing people might react to. Overreact to even.”

 

Tara just smiles, “I knew, sweetie. Well, I didn’t think she’d tell you. But, I knew she loves you.”

 

“Wait she told you?”

 

Buffy is seriously wigged out here. She’s still not entirely sure she really believes Faith loves her and she has no idea what it means to her if it is true. Now, apparently Faith has been going around telling other people? That’s not okay.

 

“Not exactly. When she came back I could just sense it, like it was coming out of her soul.”

 

“So you believe her then? You think she’s telling the truth?” Buffy asks even though the answer seems rather obvious if Tara thinks she can see it in Faith’s soul. Which sounds so romantic it makes Buffy feel a little swoony.

 

 “Do you not believe her?” Tara asks, frowning a little at Buffy’s question.

 

Buffy sighs, “I don’t know. She always used to flirt with me back when we first met. Maybe she’s convinced herself she loves that me. I just…that me has been gone for a while.”

 

“Do you not think she could love who you are now?” Tara’s eyes are full of concern as she regards Buffy and Buffy feels so vulnerable in front of her.

 

“I’m not really sure anymore,” she says, looking down. She feels too damaged to be someone worth loving.

 

“Sweetie,” Tara squeezes Buffy’s hands gently and Buffy looks back up at her, not even trying to hide the tears building up in her eyes.

 

“You need to stop thinking being a little broken is the same as being unworthy.”

 

Tara sounds so sincere that Buffy can’t help but hope that maybe she’s right. She lets the tears fall as she falls into Tara’s arms.

 

She’s not wrong. She didn’t come back different. Maybe that’s true.

 

* * *

  

It’s her birthday and for the first time it feels like this year it might be normal. She’s in her house with all the people she cares about…and Richard.

 

Richard is nice. Boring, but nice. And it’s sweet really that Anya and Xander want to set her up with a nice normal guy. But, she’s not really sure she wants a nice, normal guy.  That’s exactly what she had wanted years ago, but now? She knows that’s not her life. She doesn’t even particularly want it to be her life anymore.

 

Still, she smiles politely as he talks about his nice, normal job as a construction worker and hopes she’s nodding in all the right places. It’s hard to really concentrate because she can feel Faith’s eyes on her as she talks to Richard. Faith’s eyes have been on her all day. She won’t come near Buffy, but boy does that girl know how to stare.

 

They still haven’t really spoken since Faith’s confession, but Buffy is pleased that Faith is here at her birthday party. She’d asked Tara to ask her, knowing Faith wouldn’t say no if she was told Buffy wanted her there. Even if Buffy still felt too awkward to do the asking herself.

 

“So what is it you do?” Richard asks, snapping her out of her thoughts.

 

“I work at Doublemeat Palace,” he looks a little surprised so she laughs, “I know super glamorous right?”

 

He starts stuttering some reply about how there’s nothing wrong with that line of work, but she’s not really listening. She can feel Faith’s eyes on her again. She turns around to catch the girl staring and Faith’s cheeks tinge pink before she turns away from Buffy to talk to Tara. Buffy feels a little smug that she made Faith blush.

 

Maybe Faith does have feelings for her? The thought makes Buffy feel…well something. And that’s a big thing. A bunch of big things.

 

She turns back to Richard who seems oblivious to the fact that Buffy hasn’t been paying any attention as he continues to rattle on about construction. She’s glad Xander doesn’t talk about his job this much because construction sounds super boring. She hopes he gets the hint to leave soon. Being polite is starting to get hard.

 

* * *

 

Buffy and birthdays really aren’t meant to be. This year the problem was that no one could leave the party. And not in a ‘we’re all just having too much fun to leave’ kind of way. No, people wanted to leave they just couldn’t and no one could work out why. On top of that they had a demon trapped in with them that just would not stay dead, a pissed off Dawn who was sure she hadn’t done anything and everyone was fighting with each other. Plus poor dull Richard had been stabbed.

 

Still, Buffy had had worse birthdays.

 

Sighing she heads up towards Dawn’s room while everyone else is occupied. She needs to talk to her sister. Dawn is clearly hurt about something Buffy was doing or not doing and she doesn’t want that hanging over their heads.

 

She’s about to knock and enter the room when she hears someone else already in there. Faith.

 

“Dawnie you don’t need to steal shit to get her attention. Trust me, I tried to get B to steal with me once and well it definitely didn’t lead us to being best buds.”

 

Buffy pauses outside the door. Dawn’s been stealing? Well that explains the leather jacket with the security tag still on it. She can’t believe Dawn would do that and she wants to burst into the room and let her have a piece of her mind. But, she thinks it might be healthier to hear how this plays out instead.

 

“I know,” she can hear in Dawn’s voice that she’s been crying, “I just wish I could make her want to be around me.”

 

Well now she feels particularly shitty for wanting to go in there and yell. Has she really been that absent? The guilt currently gnawing at her chest makes her think maybe she has been.

 

“Look I get it, Dawnie. It’s been rough for you. But, you got to know it’s been rough for B too. She loves you more than anything, so just try actually talking to her like you just did with me.”

 

She never thought she’d ever hear Faith offer good advice. She also never thought hearing Faith talking to her sister would give her warm fuzzy feelings. But, she can’t deny that it does. And that she needs to start trying to work out what that’s all about.

 

“I’ll try.”

 

 She hears shuffling on the other side of the door. Someone must have gotten up to leave.

 

“And you’ll take back the leather jacket and anything else you stole,” she hears Faith warn sternly and it almost makes her chuckle. Responsible Faith is going to be hard to get used to.

 

“Yes ma’am,” Dawn giggles and Buffy just knows that her sister is probably doing a mock salute.

 

“Don’t sass me squirt,” Faith laughs and Buffy can hear it’s definitely Faith heading towards the door.

 

She quickly moves back towards the stairs not wanting to get caught.

 

“Eavesdropping is all kinds of rude, B.”

 

Dammit. Busted. She turns around to see Faith just behind her with a smirk on her face. She can feel her cheeks heating up. Faith’s always so good at flustering her.

 

“Caught me,” she says raising her hands in surrender, “ I never thought I’d see you trying to be a good role model.”

 

“Ah well just don’t ruin my rep. Took me years to gain that, yo,” Faith’s smirk turns into a grin as she winks. And that’s not doing anything for Buffy’s red cheeks.

 

“Thank you, Faith,” Buffy says sincerely, moving away from the playfulness of before.

 

“Anytime, B.”

 

They fall into an awkward silence for a moment. They need to discuss the alley. Buffy just doesn’t know what to say.

 

“I talked to Tara today,” Faith starts and Buffy is grateful that Faith is taking the lead here. “Now don’t get mad at her cause you know she has only the best intentions, but she told me you didn’t believe what I said.”

 

Well that is not where she thought this would start.

 

“That’s- I mean I didn’t-“

 

“Can you just let me talk for a second?” Faith cuts her off, leaning against the railings of the stairs. “I’m not great at this, but I need to say this so please just be quiet and listen.”

 

Buffy’s stunned, but she nods anyway. It’s not like she could talk now even if she wanted to.

 

“I do love you, B. You need to know that. I’m not saying it cause I expect anything back. I ain’t dumb,” Faith pauses, running a hand through her hair and Buffy just watches. Her heart’s going a little crazy, but she wants to hear this. And she owes Faith at least this much.

 “You’re just…God, B falling for you was easy. Happened before I even knew what love was. But, B I still fall for you everyday. Which might actually be proof that I am dumb cause I should just let it go. But, it’s hard to let go. Cause who you are? Who you've become? B you’ve got no idea how amazing you are.”

 

Buffy can practically hear her heart thundering away. She feels like crying and she feels like laughing. It’s like her whole body is humming with _something_. God, she hasn’t felt this much since- since before. And she has no idea what to do about it all so she just stares at Faith. The girl who loves her. She believes that now.

 

“Just wanted you to know,” Faith adds with a small smile, before she turns and heads down the stairs. 

Leaving Buffy to more thoughts than her brain knows what to do with.

 

* * *

 

  

Finally, the demon is dead and the wish Dawn had made has been reversed. Which means they can all now actually leave the house. They’ve got an ambulance on the way to pick up Richard. Buffy feels pretty bad for the guy. He probably won’t ever want to go on a blind date again.

 

“Buffy,” Richard calls from the couch. She doesn’t really want to talk to him, but she can’t exactly say no when he has that giant stab wound so she walks over to him.

 

“Yes?” she says and he smiles up at her.

 

 

“You think when I get all healed up maybe we could go on a date? Preferably far away from this house?”

 

Oh boy maybe he really hasn’t learnt from this disastrous blind date.

 

 “You’re a nice guy Richard, but I think this is one of those square peg round hole type situations,” Buff says, trying to let him down gently.

 

“Oh,” he frowns, looking mildly taken aback by the rejection.  Then he looks away from Buffy and to the corner of the room where Faith is standing with Dawn. Buffy turns to look too and Faith is looking right back at her. Their eyes meet and again Buffy is blushing. This is getting a tad ridiculous.

 

Everything had gotten so crazy after their talk on the stairs that Buffy still hasn’t had the time to properly process whatever it is she’s feeling for the other girl.

 

“I get it,” Richard snaps her out of her thoughts and he nods in Faith’s direction. “I think maybe you’ve already got another uh peg in mind.”

 

Part of her wants to correct him, but she doesn’t. She’s not entirely sure he’s wrong.

 

Instead she gently pats his arm and gives him a small smile, she can here the ambulance arriving.

 

"Take care, Richard," she says as she moves away from him so the paramedics can do their job. 

 

She walks over to where Faith and Dawn are joking, everyone else already having left as soon as they could. Faith sees her coming towards them and her grin gets even bigger, those dimples showing as her whole face lights up. She looks at Faith and Buffy feels a warmth spread through her that she didn’t think she’d ever feel again.

 

Well this is definitely about to get interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I was a little apprehensive about switching over to Buffy's POV, but I really wanted to show where her head is at right now. Hope you guys liked it and we will see more from Faith next chapter! Please leave feedback


	8. Green eyed monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley is back and on a mission that he needs Buffy's help for. He may have to accept help from Faith too. Will his presence push Buffy closer to Faith or further away?
> 
> Set during As You Were, though as always that just means certain parts of that episode are canon to this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back to Faith's POV!

Faith isn’t sure she’s ever going to be able to smell anything but Doublemeat burgers after this shift. They’ve been swamped and she knows even a shower won’t scrub the smell off her. But, it’s not all bad. She looks to the register next to her and sees Buffy smiling as she serves a customer.

 

Things with Buffy have been pretty good since her birthday party and Faith finds that she’s smiling more than is good for her bad girl rep nowadays. They spend almost all their time together. Though, when they’re not slaying or at work, Dawnie or the Scoobies are there too. Weirdly, Faith kind of likes that. The closest she ever had been to feeling included was with the Mayor and this time it’s way better. For one being in this group doesn’t require her to murder people- just demons and vamps.

 

And sometimes she swears Buffy looks at her like…well Faith doesn’t want to get her hopes up.

With a happy feeling in her heart, she turns away from looking at Buffy to greet the next customer.

 

“Hi welcome to Doublemeat Palace how can we-“

 

Well damn. She didn’t expect to see him again.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Riley Finn snarls, glaring at Faith and scaring off a few of their customers.

 

“Riley?”

 

Riley’s face softens as he notices Buffy staring up at him. He ignores Faith completely as he turns to address Buffy instead. She hates the soft way Buffy smiles at him, she looks like she’s just over the freaking moon to have soldier boy standing before her.

 

“Buffy, I’m sorry to just drop in like this, but I’ve been tracking something bad in Sunnydale for the last forty eight hours. I know I’m putting you on the spot like this but I need the best. I need you, Buffy. Can you help me?”

 

Buffy nods and Faith can see her immediately slipping into slayer mode, the soft smile and dewy eyes gone. And as much as she doesn’t want to deal with Riley, this sounds kind of serious.

 

“Okay, Faith and I just need a moment to change and we’ll be right with you,” Buffy says, jumping the counter and tossing her apron behind her.

 

Faith follows, not sure if she should be pissed Buffy is volunteering her without asking or pleased that Buffy sees them as a team like that. They both ignore their boss yelling at them about it not being their break yet as they leave the store, Riley trailing behind.

 

“Wait no,” Riley calls as he moves himself in front of them, blocking their path. “I said I needed the best, Buffy. I’m not taking that killer. Shouldn’t she still be in jail?”

 

“She is the best, Riley. We are the best. I want her to come, so if you want my help then Faith’s coming too,” Buffy crosses her arms and stares defiantly at Riley.

 

Faith feels like kissing her, but she settles for raising an eyebrow at Riley instead. She probably doesn’t look as cool as she wants to, what with the big goofy grin she knows she’s sporting at hearing B say she wants her here.

 

Riley just glowers at her.

 

“I just don’t understand. Last time I was here she was the last-“

 

“A lot has changed since the last time you were here,” Buffy cuts him off, “now you said we had some sort of badness to hunt, so like I said let Faith and I change out of these hideous shirts and we’ll be right with you.”

 

Riley looks like a puppy that just had his favourite toy taken away, but he nods dutifully anyway.

 

“Hurry.”

 

Buffy grabs Faith’s arm and pulls her to where they hide their slaying gear when they work the night shift.

 

“Thanks, B,” Faith says as she grabs her change of clothes from the bag.

“You know for having my back and stuff,” she adds somewhat awkwardly when she notices that Buffy looks confused.

 

“Anytime, Faith,” Buffy grins as she grabs her own change of clothes. “Now lets go kick some bad guy butt.”

 

* * *

 

Faith has to admit that while she’s not the biggest Riley fan, his James Bond toys and fast driving cars do take demon fighting to a whole new level.  She’s always enjoyed a good hunt and when you add in a good car chase, some abseiling and Buffy fighting by her side it’s basically what she’d consider a perfect night. Well close to perfect. Perfect would require it ending with Buffy less by her side and more under her sheets. She can settle for mostly perfect.

 

“Dude’s real nasty looking,” Faith comments as she tries to catch her breath.

 

The demon they’ve been tailing just knocked her down, but Buffy is immediately on it with Riley not far behind.

 

“Watch what you say about my husband.”

 

Faith whips around to see a gorgeous brunette smirking at her as she walks towards them. She looks like the G.I Jane to Riley’s G.I Joe.

 

“Husband?”

 

There’s a loud smack and Faith turns around to see Buffy getting knocked off her feet. Apparently she’d been distracted enough by the arrival of this new chick to let go of the demon.

 

“B,” Faith yells, running towards Buffy and kneeling next to her. She places her hand on Buffy’s arm and is relieved when Buffy immediately looks up at her.

 

“You okay?” she asks gently as she rubs Buffy’s arm. She can’t help but indulge a little, enjoying the feel of Buffy’s soft skin under her fingers.

 

Buffy groans as she lifts her head off the ground, but she nods and her eyes focus on something behind Faith. Faith turns and sees the new chick and Riley trying to contain the demon, but they look like they need help.

 

“You stay here and get your head on properly and I’ll go help G.I Joe and Jane.”

 

She moves away from Buffy and runs straight at the demon, pulling it away from Riley who had been looking a little overwhelmed. She gets a good grip on its ugly ass neck and twists until she hears the snap. The demon drops to the ground and she grins up at the two soldiers.

 

“Well that was a kick.  Now where’s my thanks soldier boy?”

 

Riley and G.I Jane just stare at her, looking less than impressed.

 

“You killed it,” Riley finally gets out as he continues to stare at the dead demon.

 

“No shit,” Faith replies as Buffy, apparently feeling well enough to stand, moves to stand beside her.

 

“We didn’t want it dead,” G.I Jane turns to Riley, “I’m guessing you left out that detail Mr.”

 

Riley looks a little bashful and it clicks for Faith. G.I Jane called him her husband before. Riley and this chick are married.

 

“Excuse me, but who are you?” Buffy asks, arms folded across her chest as she glares at the woman they both don’t know.

 

“Oh I’m sorry, I’m Sam. Riley’s wife. You must be Buffy,” Sam offers her hand to Buffy as a way of greeting, but Buffy just stares at her with wide eyes. After an awkward moment, Sam drops her arm and turns to look at Faith.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“Faith. I’m the other slayer,” Faith answers distractedly, her gaze still fixed on Buffy who is just staring between Riley and Sam. She looks a little confused, but mostly she looks hurt. For the first time since she got back to Sunnydale, Faith doesn’t want to reach out and comfort Buffy when she sees the pain on her face. Instead she feels her own heart sink as it hits her how fucking stupid she’s been.

 

She had thought that maybe…whatever, she was clearly wrong if Buffy’s so obviously jealous over soldier boy moving on.

 

“There are other slayers?” Sam asks, snapping Faith’s attention away from Buffy, “Riley, why didn’t you tell me there were more slayers than just Buffy?”

 

“And why didn’t you tell me you were married?”

 

Riley goes bright red as the two women turn on him and Faith rolls her eyes. God, how did two strong, attractive women fall for this idiot?

 

“More importantly,” she cuts in trying to break up this weird triangle, “why were you against me killing the demon?”

 

This gets their attention and now she has three pairs of eyes on her.

 

“It’s a long story, so lets get somewhere safe and I’ll fill you and Buffy in,” Riley answers Faith before turning to Buffy and Sam, “and I can answer both your questions on the way too.”

 

Sam and Buffy nod, both immediately switching into business mode as Riley leads the way back to the car. It’s kind of scary how they all manage to just switch gears like that. It’s something Faith still isn’t really good at. But, she’ll take intense slayer mode Buffy over watching Buffy give Riley her heartbroken puppy dog eyes.  Hell, she’d take another round with that ugly ass demon over _that_.

 

* * *

  

Faith’s all energy and no flare as she pummels the boxing bag she installed in her room at the Summers’ house. She had decided to opt out of going on patrol with Sam and Buffy and instead spend some quality time picturing Riley’s face on the bag as she beat the crap out of it. She’s sure Buffy is being all pouty as G.I Jane talks all about her perfect marriage to G.I Joe. She drives her leg into the bag harder, trying to get a rhythm going so she can stop thinking about Buffy.

 

She knows she has no right to be jealous, Buffy doesn’t owe her anything, but fuck it hurts to see Buffy all wound up over Sam and Riley when Faith is there offering her all her love. She needs to let it go. Find some way to move on because this feeling just isn’t healthy. God, it’s all she thinks about- Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.

 

“You look good. Though some of your punches are a little sloppy.”

 

She stops, panting heavily as she turns to see Buffy in her doorway. And how is it fair that Buffy always looks so goddam gorgeous? She’s only in a black turtleneck and jeans, but she looks beautiful as ever. She makes it so damn hard for Faith to want to move on.

 

She shrugs, trying to get her breathing under control as she grabs a towel to wipe herself down a little.

 

“You find this doctor person on patrol?” she asks, refusing to look at Buffy as she sits on her bed and takes a long sip of water from the bottle she left on the bedside table.

 

The bed shifts as Buffy sits next to her and she just about jumps out of her skin as a warm hand lands on her thigh. She turns to look at Buffy and finds her far too close. Buffy’s leaning into her, one hand still on Faith’s thigh as the other comes up to brush some hair behind Faith’s ear. Her heart is basically doing the Macarena at this point and she’s finding it a little hard to breathe.

 

“B?” she asks as she feels herself getting a little lost in Buffy’s eyes. She always used to think that was some dumb cliché from romantic comedies she refused to watch, but she really does feel like she’s sinking a little as she looks into the bright green eyes so close to her. She’s always had a weakness for Buffy’s eyes.

 

“Tell me you love me,” Buffy whispers as her hand falls from Faith’s hair to rest on her cheek.

 

“I love you,” Faith breathes out as Buffy moves even closer. Their noses brush against each other.

Their lips are almost touching and Faith eyes start to close, but for some reason she can’t just allow herself to dive in and take what she’s always wanted. This is all just too sudden.

 

Sighing she pulls back and Buffy’s eyes shoot open at the sudden loss of contact. She looks confused by the rejection, but Faith knows what this is about. B doesn’t want her. No, this is about Riley and Sam.

 

“Don’t you want me, anymore?” Buffy asks, her voice sounding a little shaky. Faith places a hand over the one Buffy still has resting on her thigh and offers Buffy a small smile.

 

“I always want ya, B,” she says softly, “but not like this. This wouldn’t mean anything to you and I don’t think I could be okay with that.”

 

She almost kicks herself for letting this opportunity for some Buffy kissing go, but she knows her heart would not cope with getting a taste and then having it yanked away. It would destroy her.

 

“Maybe it would,” Buffy mumbles and Faith’s eyebrows shoot up.

 

“What?”

 

“Maybe it would mean something to me,” Buffy’s hand comes up to caress Faith’s cheek again, but her voice still sounds a little unsure. And that’s enough for Faith to know this isn’t the moment. Though she can’t deny that she feels a spark of hope light up within her heart.  

 

She leans in slowly, watching Buffy’s eyes drift shut again, and presses her lips gently to the corner of Buffy’s mouth. She hears the girls breath hitch and it takes every ounce of the inner strength she built up in prison to pull back before she does something more.

 

Before Buffy can react or even open her eyes, Faith rises from the bed. She needs some space between her and Buffy if she’s going to stick with her decision here.

 

“Listen, say that when Beefstick ain’t here anymore rubbing his wife in your face and maybe I’ll believe you.”

 

With the beat of her heart thundering in her ears, Faith walks away from a completely stunned Buffy.

 

* * *

 

 

After the incident in the bedroom, Faith had taken a step back from everything going on with Riley, Buffy and Sam. She couldn’t be around Buffy when she was so vulnerable and desperate for attention and she figured two soldiers and a slayer could deal with the ‘Doctor’ on their own. She’d been right and they’d found out Spike was the ‘Doctor’. Faith’s pissed they hadn’t managed to kill Spike, but apparently he had used the distraction of the newborn demons to run away. She just hopes he has fucked off for good.

 

Now, Sam and Riley are getting ready to leave and saying all their sappy goodbyes to the Scoobies.

 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Riley asks, surprising Faith who had been hoping to avoid the goodbyes. She doesn’t’ do sappy and she still really doesn’t like this guy for getting so much of B’s attention.

 

She nods though and he gestures towards the front door. Wearily she follows him out to the front porch, feeling Buffy and Sam’s eyes on them the whole way. She has no idea why Riley would want a private word with her. She just hopes he doesn’t want to address what happened when she was in Buffy’s body. She probably should apologize for that, but it feels too awkward.

 

“Buffy’s a hell of a woman,” Riley starts suddenly and Faith snorts out a laugh. Holy shit he’s even worse at small talk than she is.

 

“No shit,” she pulls a cigarette out of her back pocket and lights it. If soldier boy is going to make awkward small talk than she needs a cigarette.

 

“Charming as always,” he rolls his eyes at her and huffs.

 

“You drag me out here to tell me something I already know so…” she lets the sentence hang in the air. She knows how great B is, that’s kind of her biggest problem right now.

 

“She never loved me,” he says abruptly and Faith has no idea why on earth he thinks she’s the one he should have this heart to heart with. Plus, dude is freaking married now.

 “I loved her so much and it took me a long time to realize that she was never going to love me like that. Then I finally let go and moved on.”

 

He gives her a pointed look and _oh_. He knows. Well isn’t this just great. The guy Buffy apparently never loved is going to give her advice on how to get over her. This is just exactly what she fucking needs.

 

“Who fucking told you?” she asks angrily.

 

“I’m not blind, Faith. I can see it on your face like I used to see it on mine.”

 

She looks skeptically at him and he looks down at his feet a little sheepishly.

 

“Okay so Buffy told me.”

 

Which makes sense because it’s really only Buffy and Tara that know. But, Faith doesn’t get why B would tell soldier boy that Faith loves her. Honestly it feels a little like a stab in the back.

 

“Before you get mad at her, she looked pretty shocked after she blurted it out when I asked her if she had anyone special in her life.”

Riley can apparently read her better than she ever would have thought he could. She puts out her cigarette and looks at him again.

 

“What’s the point of you telling me all this? You think I don’t know that I need to move on? I’m not as dumb as you look.”

 

Riley sighs and steps forward, grabbing her arms gently as he bends down to look her in the eye.  

 

“You’re missing my point. Buffy never looked at me the way she sometimes looks at you.”

 

“You mean like she wants to kick my ass?,” she bites out sarcastically, shrugging his hands off her. “Shame you missed out on those looks. They’re really something special.”

 

“No, she looks at you like she could love you.”

 

Faith feels like her heart stops for a second. Her eyes are wide as she stares up at him again to check that he’s not just having a laugh at her. But, she can see he is sincere.

 

“I’m telling you this because Buffy is special,” he continues when Faith says nothing.  “I’ve found my happy ending in Sam and I really want Buffy to find hers too. It’s crazy, but I think that could be with you.”

 

What’s crazy is that Faith is starting to believe it could be with her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Things are finally moving forward with a little nudge from Riley of all people. If you liked it, let me know in the comments!!


	9. Nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Faith be able to get over her nerves and make a move on Buffy? Or will Xander and Anya's wedding get in the way?
> 
> This is set during Hells Bells, but as always with this fic that just means some parts of that episode are canon to this story.

 

Faith feels all kinds of jittery as she stares at herself in the mirror. She’s really not one for getting all dressed up, but even if she’s never been to one she knows weddings require a certain amount of effort. Even with the nerves, she knows she looks damn good in her low cut red silk blouse and her fitted black blazer and pants. It just feels foreign. Hopefully it impresses Buffy and makes it all worth it.

 

Sighing she gives the mirror one last look before walking down the hall to Buffy’s room. Time to get this show on the road.

 

“B?” she calls as she knocks on the already opened door. The last thing she needs right now is to get all hot and bothered seeing Buffy not completely dressed. She doesn’t think red cheeks would really compliment her look.

 

“Almost ready! You can come in,” Buffy calls and Faith walks inside.

 

Buffy is at the mirror frowning at her own reflection.

 

“You’re lucky you’re not in the wedding party,” Buffy says glumly as she pulls at the sleeves of her dress. Faith isn’t sure she’s ever seen a dress as hideous as the monstrosity Buffy is in and yet Buffy still looks gorgeous.

 

“You look beautiful, B,” Faith says sincerely and she sees Buffy’s cheeks turn pink in the mirror. She smirks, feeling rather pleased with herself at Buffy’s reaction.

 

“Seriously, B they should give you a medal for making that disaster of a dress look hot.”

 

Faith doesn’t even attempt to hide the way she looks Buffy up and down as Buffy turns to face her. Ever since her chat with Riley a few days ago she’s decided to take the flirting up a notch. Buffy’s shy smile and even pinker cheeks are proof that it’s definitely being noticed and appreciated.

 

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Buffy says, suddenly coy as she takes in Faith’s outfit.

 

Her heartbeat speeds up in a way that is becoming familiar as Buffy moves closer to her, her hand reaching out to grip lightly on Faith’s blazer.

 

“This really suits you,” Buffy says and Faith’s pretty sure Buffy’s flirting. She wonders if maybe this is the moment as Buffy continues to stare up at her, hand still resting gently on Faith’s arm.

 

“This is so unfair!”

 

And just like that, the moments over as Buffy drops her arm and they both turn to see Willow standing in the doorway looking miserable in a dress that matches Buffy’s.

 

“I’m the best man, so why do you get to look all dashing in a suit when I’m stuck like this?”

 

“Sorry Red, even in a suit you couldn’t dream of reaching this level of hotness,” Faith grins, shooting a wink Willow’s way.

 

 Buffy’s answering giggle makes her think that today might present another moment. She really hopes so, it would be a shame for this level of hotness to go to waste.

 

* * *

 

 

Anya may have given up on being a demon, but she sure as hell still kept that side for today. She’s put everyone, including Faith, to work on making sure everything is perfect for the ceremony. And boy is it hard to reach perfection with a bunch of demons (Anya’s side) and drunks (Xander’s) doing their very best to drive each other crazy.

 

Faith is currently walking around the hall with Tara. They’re supposed to be checking that the flowers are set up, but really they’re just keeping an eye on the guests. It’s not all bad, she could be stuck helping Xander get into his slightly too small suit like Buffy is or listening to Anya’s vows for the millionth time with Red. Xander and sex poodle are not things she wants to hear in the same sentence again. It had been kind of funny watching Willow and Tara pretend they weren’t flirting with each other as they helped Anya get ready though.She smirks to herself, deciding that teasing Tara may just be a good way to pass the time as they scan the crowd

 

“Saw you getting friendly with Red before."

 

“Well we are trying to be friends and friends can be friendly,” Tara tries to sound nonchalant, but her blush gives her away and Faith grins at her.

 

“I’m hurt you’ve never been that ‘friendly’ with me,” Faith waggles her eyebrows playfully at Tara who just rolls her eyes.

 

A crash startles them both and Faith can see Xander’s dad stumbling near a chair that shouldn’t be on the ground. He picks it up, muttering something about circus freaks. Xander's dad makes Faith feel nostalgic in the worst way. She is grateful to see Buffy approaching him because angry, drunk parents really aren’t something she’s good at dealing with. All the practice with her ma hadn’t really taught her anything except when to get the hell out of the house.

 

She catches Buffy’s eye and smiles at her. Her heart skips a beat when she gets the patented Buffy half smile back as Buffy leads Mr Harris away from the bar.

 

“When did you start receiving the cute ‘Buffy’s flirting’ smile?” Tara asks with a sly smile. 

 

“Shut up,” she mutters feeling a little embarrassed, but she can’t keep the smile of her face. It’s just so freaking nice to be the one Buffy’s smiling like that at. Three years ago she received that smile once or twice and it made her feel like she could do anything. And then everything had gone to shit. It's surreal that now she's back to Buffy making her feel like she can do anything again.  

Still, she’s not about to be the one being teased here.

 

“Now get back to giving me the deets on you and Red.”

 

The mood shifts as Tara sighs, “it’s just…complicated.”

 

Faith nods, she gets it. She might not have been here for it, but she knows the story. She can see that Tara is still hurting. Red is still hurting too. She just thinks maybe they could help ease the hurt together.

 

“Red and I aren’t about to become besties, but she’s getting a lot better with the magic stuff. You love her right? So go for it.”

 

“I don’t know,” Tara says looking unsure.

 

“I’m serious!” Faith exclaims, “take the bull by the horns or the cow by the udder in your case I guess.”

 

Tara laughs before looking past Faith to where Faith just knows Buffy is. Like always she can feel her. 

 

“Maybe you should follow your own advice,” Tara offers, arching an eyebrow.

 

“Already working on it,” Faith answers as she turns to smile at Buffy again. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get over the warmth that spreads through her as Buffy smiles back.

 

* * *

  

Xander going missing isn’t exactly a shock to Faith. Just watching his parents interact had given her major flashbacks to her own childhood. Less beer bottles flying and no black eyes, but even her parents had behaved slightly better in public. So it makes sense to her that marriage would have him majorly freaking out. Not that she’s at all on board with the shitty timing of him bailing on the girl he claims to love. 

 

Buffy and the gang are all desperately trying to find him before Anya finds out so Faith has been sent outside to look for him. So far it’s proving rather useless, but it’s better walking around good ol’ Sunnydale then dealing with the manic energy back in the hall. The thing is, she’s really not close to Xander so she has no idea where he might go and-

 

Well standing in the middle of the street really isn’t where she thought Xander would be hiding out. God he looks ridiculous just staring up at the sky, soaking wet and looking utterly miserable. Clearly he hadn’t had the smarts to bring an umbrella like Faith.

 

She walks slowly up to him and he looks to her, all sad puppy eyes, as he hears her approaching.

 

“No offence but you’re not who I thought they’d send on the Xander searching mission,” he says flatly and she shrugs.

 

“Well I’m more here cause I didn’t want to have to attempt to keep Anya calm as they all stall.”

 

He chuckles, but it sounds hollow. Faith can’t help but wonder what’s happened to him since she last saw him this morning. Then he was nervous and jittery, now he just seems defeated.

 

“I’m not coming back,” he says looking away from Faith.

 

“Not going to make you,” Faith responds, but she doesn’t move to leave. Instead, she brings her umbrella up over him so it’s covering them both. He looks back at her, clearly confused. Honestly the umbrella is kind of pointless given how wet he already is.

 

“You know my ma enjoyed the drink about as much as your old man seems to,” she starts casually.

“Yeah he’s thinking about turning pro,” Xander laughs and Faith’s surprised by the bitterness to it. She’s only ever heard him sound like that about Angel. One of the few things they’d bonded over back in the day. He’s always been so goofy that she never would have guessed his home life would be anything like what hers had been.

 

“I’m just saying, shitty parents suck. I’m the only person here who gets that like you do.”

 

“I don’t want to turn into them,” Xander says suddenly, eyes a little wild as he looks at Faith. “I don’t want me and Ahn to turn into _that_.”

 

For a moment she just stares at him, unsure what to say to that. She doesn’t really know why she’s bothering with this. Maybe a part of her just needs to remind herself that not all relationships are doomed. Maybe another part of her needs to know that fucked up parents don't have to fuck up your own love life. Either way, she wants to help. 

 

“One thing I learnt in jail is that I don’t have to turn into my parents. Neither do you,” she says quietly and man she wishes she had a cigarette right now. She hates opening up like this.

 

“I can’t hurt her.”

 

He looks so broken, so scared and Faith knows she’s missing something here. Something definitely spooked him more than just pre-marriage cold feet. She’s just not sure it really matters. In the big scheme of things it's his own doubts he has to get over.

 

Sighing she grabs his shoulders and makes him look at her. Dude needs some tough love and she’s about to dish it out.

 

“Do what you want Xan, but don’t not marry the girl you love cause you think you’ll hurt her.Damn dude, walking away now is what's going to hurt her. So if you're scared of ending up like your old man then you put in the work everyday to make sure you're better than that.”

 

He looks at her, like really looks at her, and smiles. She can see a little of the Xander she knows again. It’s freaky, but just like that the rain seems to stop. She lowers her umbrella and the sun is shining down on them.

 

“When did you get all wise with the wisdom and how do I get some?” he jokes, easing the tension.

 

“Took a coma, a body swap, a vamp with a soul and the big house. I can sort out the coma thing if you want?”

 

She grins at him, happy that their serious moment of bonding is over.

 

 “I’ll see if I can get a ‘Wisdom for Dummies’ book instead,” he laughs, his eyes brightening and she knows she's done the right thing. 

 

“Now come on I’ve got to make an honest woman out of an ex-demon.”

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding was nice, as far as weddings go. If she’s honest, Faith hadn’t really heard much of the vows as, like a sap, she’d just been staring at Buffy. It makes her feel like the sappiness is worth it when she remembers that Buffy had stared right back.

 

Now, the reception is way better. There’s free food and alcohol and the music is surprising good. Xander’s dad has passed out which is really just better for everyone and the remaining members of the Harris clan are in a happy drunk state that allows them to get along well with the demons they think are circus folk.

 

She’s currently taking a break from the dance floor at the bar. She had been dancing up a storm with Dawnie, Red and Tara, but as she was getting into it Dawn had rather rudely pulled her away. Dawnie had seen the flirty looks Tara and Red had been shooting each other and had been determined that they be left alone to explore that. Not that Faith would argue with that, though she does think Dawn is a little too invested in the whole thing. Willow and Tara do look happy though, dancing close. 

 

She knocks back a whisky as she stares over at Buffy who is currently laughing with Dawn. She’s trying to work up the courage to ask Buffy to dance. And not in the ‘lets cut loose’ way they always dance at the Bronze. She wants to dance with Buffy properly this time. She needs the liquid courage cause she’s pretty sure B wants that too and that makes it better and worse. Better because she feels all light inside when she thinks about how Buffy might just want her back. Worse because of the butterflies she gets when she realizes how real that makes it.

 

“Now a girl who likes whisky is a girl that’s right up my alley.”

 

Faith turns to see a pretty blonde sitting next to her. She hadn’t noticed her sit down, probably because she was too focused on the gorgeous blonde across the room.

 

“I’m Lucy,” the blonde introduces herself when Faith says nothing.

 

“Faith,” Faith replies to be polite, but she goes back to looking over at Buffy who is now staring right back at her.

 

She feels a hand on her arm and looks to see that Lucy has gotten much, much closer to her. She’s looking Faith up and down with a sultry smile that would get almost anyone’s motor going.

 

“Well Faith, you look like you could help me make this reception a lot more fun.”

 

Faith huffs out a laugh at Lucy’s complete lack of subtlety. She’s got to give the girl props for being so straightforward. In another time she would have found it sexy as hell and she would have pounced on the other girl without another thought. But, right now she just wants to figure out a polite way to let this girl down.

 

“Dance with me.”

 

She’s saved from coming up with a response by an angry looking Buffy who is now standing in front of her. Buffy doesn't look angry at her though, instead her glare is directed at Lucy. And damn if that doesn't do wonders for her ego. 

 

Buffy doesn't even wait for her to respond, instead she grabs Faith's hand and leads her out onto the dance floor. Not that Faith puts up much of a fight, she's rather enjoying how adorable Buffy looks all flustered. And she had wanted to dance with Buffy anyway.

 

 “You jealous, B,” she smirks as Buffy finally stops and turns to face her in the middle of the dance floor.

 

“What? No I just thought I would save you from that skank,” Buffy responds, shooting another annoyed look in the direction of the bar and Faith laughs.

 

“Sure, whatever you say.”

 

Buffy looks like she wants to protest, but instead she just huffs in annoyance and smiles a little sheepishly at Faith.

 

A slow song is playing and this time Faith doesn’t hesitate. She just reaches forward and places her hands gently on Buffy’s slender hips. Buffy smiles _that_ smile again and slowly her own hands move, pulling Faith closer to her as they lock loosely behind Faith’s neck.

 

Fuck, if she felt like her heart was beating fast before it’s nothing compared to what it feels like now with Buffy pressed up against her. They move slowly to the music that now seems so distant as Buffy moves even closer, resting her head on Faith’s shoulder. She can feel Buffy’s breath hitting her neck and she can smell the jasmine in the perfume Buffy put on that morning. All she can think about is how _right_ it feels to hold Buffy in her arms like this.

 

“This is nice,” Buffy whispers after a few minutes as pulls back slightly to look up at Faith, “being close to you like this. I like it.”

 

“Want to get some air?” Faith asks, because everything in her is struggling to not just kiss Buffy right now. And while her brain is a Buffy induced mess right now, she knows enough to know she shouldn’t kiss her for the first time in a room full of her friends.

 

Buffy nods and pulls away from Faith, lacing her fingers through one of Faith’s hands as she leads them towards the back door. 

 

It’s a little cold outside and without a thought Faith shrugs off her blazer and offers it to Buffy.

 

“Didn’t realize you were so cheesy,” Buffy says as she accepts the jacket with a playful grin. It’s getting stupid how often she finds herself blushing around Buffy these days.

 

“Well I can take it back if you don-“

 

She’s cut off by strong hands pulling at her blouse and Buffy’s lips covering her own. The shock wears off quickly as her eyes drift shut and she reaches for Buffy’s waist, pulling her closer as she sinks into the kiss.

 

This moment right here, with her lips pressed gently against those of the girl she loves, well it’s definitely worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only took 9 chapters and over 20,000 words but finally a kiss! Where will we go from here?  
> Hope you enjoyed it!! Feedback is always appreciated :)


	10. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy might have kissed Faith, but that doesn't necessarily mean things are smooth sailing. And what happens when a reality altering demon interferes?
> 
> This is set during 'Normal Again', though as always that just means some parts of that episode appear here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given this deals so much with Buffy's mind, it felt only right that this chapter be from her POV. Italics are the asylum world.

Buffy has always hated how many alleyways there are in Sunnydale, it’s unnatural for a small town to have this many places for demons and vampires to lurk. But, right now she can see the positives as Faith presses her up against one of the alley’s walls. Her brain is nothing but goo as Faith’s mouth makes her legs feel like jelly and Faith’s hands creep under the back of her shirt. She moans at the feel of Faith’s tongue on her bottom lip and eagerly opens her own mouth as her hand threads deeper into Faith’s dark locks to scratch lightly at the nape of her neck.

“God, B,” Faith husks as she pulls away from Buffy’s lips and begins kissing down her jaw.  _God_ her voice drives Buffy a little crazy when it’s like that. She feels tingly all over as Faith continues her assault on her jaw before moving to nip at her neck. She runs a hand down Faith’s side, dipping it beneath her shirt to feel warm, soft skin and it’s like she’s buzzing all over. It’s the most alive she’s felt since before…

 

Thinking about that kills her good mood instantly so she gently shoves Faith away from her. Faith looks a little concerned and more than a little frustrated as she pulls back.

 

“Why we stopping?” Faith asks, not removing her arms from around Buffy.

 

“We shouldn’t let ourselves get distracted when we need to find where these guys are living,” Buffy says with a shrug, removing Faith’s arms from around her waist. Not that she wasn’t enjoying Faith holding her, she actually _really_ enjoys being in her arms. But, she needs the distance right now. Being pressed up against Faith doesn’t do much for letting her brain be rational.

 

“Not buying it,” Faith huffs as she tries to reach for Buffy again, “c’mon B, it’s not like much will change if we take a make out break.”

 

Buffy evades her grip again and sees the hurt flash in Faith’s eyes. She hates being the one to put that there, but she’s still trying to get used to whatever this is. This thing where she and Faith sometimes kiss that’s been going on since the wedding. The thing is, Faith is a really good kisser. Like exploding fireworks and everything good. Buffy really likes kissing Faith and she knows she likes being around her, but she’s still not sure what that all means. Every time she starts to feel happy she wonders if this is what happiness felt like before…well before.

 

“I’m getting tired of this, Buffy.”

 

And oh boy Faith saying her full name always means things are serious. She liked it better last time though, when Faith used it to say she loved her.

 

“Can we talk about this later?” Buffy pleads.

 

“It’s always later,” Faith bites out, and Buffy knows she deserves the harsh tone. She knows it’s not being fair to Faith that she keeps kissing her only to pull away when her brain starts making her think too much. It’s just hard because Faith kisses are a little addictive.

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” she says quietly, looking down.

 

Buffy hears Faith sigh and feels a warm hand cupping her cheek. She looks up and Faith’s eyes seem so gentle, so warm that Buffy just wants to sink into them.

 

“I don’t mean to snap at ya, B. I’m just all hyped up from patrol earlier and that already does things to a girl, even without the hot make out session we just had,” Faith winks and Buffy feels her cheeks get hot. She blushes a truly ridiculous amount around Faith.

 

“Lets just split up for a while yeah? We both need to focus on the list,” Faith adds seriously, dropping her hand from Buffy’s cheek.

 

Right the list. All the places the Trio might be staying that they’d been checking before the alley had tempted them into taking some alone time.

 

“Okay,” Buffy says as she splits the list of addresses in two and hands one half to Faith.

 

“Just when we find them you gotta stop avoiding me,” Faith says, before turning and leaving Buffy alone in the alley.

 

Buffy sighs, wanting desperately to call out to Faith. But, instead she just watches sadly as she laves. Because it’s true, she has been avoiding her. Well, less straight up avoiding and more using kissing as a distraction. And she’s just not sure she’s ready to stop, not while her head’s still such a mess.

 

Suddenly something grabs her and she’s flung back into the alley wall she and Faith had just been making out against. Alleys officially suck again. She flips herself up and spins a kick at the giant white demon. He’s uber gross looking, even by demon standards. Red eyes and skin that looks like melted wax.

 

The demon leaps at her, grabbing her before she can deflect him and she feels a searing pain in her left arm. She looks down and she swears it looks like a syringe is-

 

_“Buffy stop you’re hurting yourself!” a man yells as she opens her eyes to find herself in an unfamiliar place._

_Panic swells within her as she looks around the room. It’s stark and white and the only thing in it is a cot and two men in orderly uniforms that are moving towards her._

_Did she pass out? Is she in hospital?_

_“Strap her down!” one of the men reaches for her and she can’t do anything, she tries to move but-_

She blinks and she’s back in the alley. The demon is gone and she feels like she’s just gone ten rounds with a hell-god.

 

What the hell just happened?

 

* * *

 

  

“I just didn’t expect to see her with anyone. Especially not with her pressing her Tara lips against the cheek of some girl that's not me,” Willow rambles as they walk through the cemetery.

 

Buffy’s patrolling and Willow…well Willow is pre-occupied with Tara rambles. She doesn’t mind though, she really just brought Willow along for company. She’s been having these weird flashes ever since the demon in the alley and she knows she should tell someone about them, but she wants to see what they’re about first. Right now it’s just images of doctors, a big empty room and the feeling of being trapped. Not really conclusive enough. 

Still, even if she’s keeping it close to her chest, patrolling alone hadn’t seemed like a good idea. And she’s still being super childish and avoiding talking to Faith, which meant Willow was the go to patrol partner what with Xander and Anya on their honeymoon.

 

“Don’t worry about it Will, once someone falls for Willow they stay fallen,” she smiles warmly at Willow, trying to throw herself into the conversation so her brain can stop thinking about Faith and these weird visions.

 

“Thanks Buff,” Willow gives her a small smile in return and for a minute they walk in a comfortable silence.

 

A rustle nearby sets Buffy’s spidey-senses to tingle and she freezes. It’s Faith. So that stops her plans to not think about her.  Maybe when they finally do talk they should discuss this connection between them, how she’s always been able to feel Faith if she wants to. Sometimes it’s nice just knowing she can sense her and sometimes it’s useful when she’s looking to avoid her. Then again, if Faith feels it too than that means she lets Buffy avoid her.  The thought of Faith doing that for her seems oddly sweet and it makes Buffy feel all warm and gooey inside.

 

“Thought we weren’t patrolling tonight, B.”

 

Okay so this Faith isn’t going to be adding to the warm, gooey feelings. She looks pretty mad and Buffy cringes at herself for lying.

 

“I told her to tell you that,” Willow lies, “I just needed some quality Buffy time.”

 

She’s grateful, really, that Willow has her back, but adding onto the lies really isn't a good move. 

 

“Right, and I’m out here practicing for my debut for the Red Sox,” Faith bites out sarcastically.

 

Buffy opens her mouth to respond-

 

“Hey no need to be so snappy.”

 

She presses a hand to her head as the other two continue to bicker, she feels like she’s going to pass out.

 

“Ask B why I’m so damn snappy!”

_“Guy’s don’t-“ she looks up and Faith and Willow are gone. The graveyard is gone. She’s in that tiny room again with the cot. She shakes her head as she twirls around, searching for something familiar._

_“Buffy? Can you hear me?”_

_A man in a white coat steps towards her, smiling kindly as he reaches her. She blinks rapidly, why is she with a doctor?_

_“Buffy do you know where you are?” the doctor asks and she looks around the room. She knows it from the flashes before, but outside that it isn’t familiar at all. She knows where she’s supposed to be though._

_“Sunnydale,” she says weakly and the doctor places a hand on her shoulder. She jumps, removing his hand._

_“No, Buffy none of that is real. You’re in a mental institution. You’ve been with us for six years, don’t you remember?”_

_He sounds so kind as he explains this to her, that she feels bad for not believing him. But, no this doesn’t make sense. Something’s gone wrong._

_“Buffy?”_

_Oh god it’s her mom. Tears form in her eyes as she turns to the door. She’s missed her mom so much and-_

A hand touching her cheek snaps her right back to the graveyard. Where did her mom go?

 

“B?”

 

Blinking she focuses on her surroundings and realizes Faith is kneeling next to her, gently stroking her cheek. She must have fainted. Though that doesn't explain the vision and why her mom seemed so real.

 

“Take me home,” she whispers, looking up into Faith’s concerned eyes.

 

“Please,” she adds when Faith looks like she’s going to question her further.

Right now she just wants to rest. Question and answer time can come later.

 

Nodding, Faith scoops her up and begins to carry her out of the graveyard. She allows herself to sink into the embrace. Faith's arms holding her tight are the only things that feel real.

 

* * *

 

  

_She’s in the room again, but this time her mom and dad are sitting on either side of her. They’re a family again and it feels nice. Really nice. She can't even begin to express how much she's missed her mom looking at her like she's the most important thing in the world. That's the part of this vision she likes best, that her parents are here to look after her again._

_The doctor has been explaining that she has schizophrenia and that everything-Sunnydale, vampires, her friends, Dawn- she’s believed for the past six years has all just been a deep delusion. That’s the part she likes the least. Because it just doesn’t make sense. She can’t have just made that all up. Someone simply can't make up the life she leads._

_“Buffy we want to help you,” the doctor states calmly and she feels her mom take her hand. “But, in order to do that you have to start seeing that ‘Sunnydale’ is a delusion.”_

_The comforting smile her mom is giving her makes her want so badly for this to be real, even though she knows it can’t be. If this is real than Sunnydale isn’t._

_“No, it’s not a delusion. I need to get back. Willow, Dawn and Faith must all be so worried about me.”_

_She searches around the room for some kind of escape, some portal back to what she knows. She’s breathing hard and panicking now. She needs to get back, even if it means having her mom look disappointed in her._

_“Faith? That’s the girl who is in love with her, right?” her dad asks the doctor. It makes sense that even in her vision her dad would get caught up on things like that. Whatever these visions are, they're very convincing._

_“Yes, another bit of proof that this delusion you want to be real is starting to fall apart, Buffy. The story has stopped making sense.  First Faith was another ‘Slayer’ who turned bad and then you tried to kill her. She took your body and spent time in jail, but now she’s back and in love with you? She’s fighting by your side and she’s sweet and caring, not at all like the girl you once imagined her to be. She’s offering you all the comfort and support you started to crave in this ‘Sunnydale’. Doesn’t that seem just a little too convenient?”_

_She hugs her legs to her chest as she listens to the doctor, trying desperately to find some kind of comfort. Because,_ god, _that makes sense. Why would Faith suddenly come back and love her? And she had come just when Buffy felt so badly like she needed_ something _._

_Maybe this is real. Maybe Sunnydale is the false reality._

 

* * *

 

  

She opens her eyes and she’s back in her room. Or rather back in her room in Sunnydale. A room that she’s suddenly not entirely sure exists.

 

“B?”

 

Faith is sitting on the edge of the bed and she looks so worried that Buffy wants nothing more than to reassure her that everything will be okay. But, she can’t get what the doctor said out of her head.

 

“Hey,” Buffy says softly and Faith’s answering smile is gorgeous. She wants so badly for Faith and her dimpled smile to be real.

 

“You have no idea how good it is to see you looking at me, B.”

 

There’s so much aching emotion in Faith’s voice that Buffy can’t help but reach out and take her hand. Faith squeezes hers back and this all just feels so real. The warmth that spreads through her as she just looks at Faith has to be real. She can't-

 

_“Buffy,” her mom says as she blinks and suddenly she’s in that room again, slumped against the padded wall._

_She wants to go back to Faith._

_“Buffy, please sweetheart. You need to fight the delusion,” her mom pleads, grabbing her hands._

 

_She doesn’t want to lose her mom again. She doesn’t want to disappoint her again. Maybe-_

Faith squeezes her shoulders. This is all just too much. The back and forth. One reality needs to end. 

 

“No, you’re not real. You can’t be,” she shakes herself out of Faith’s grip and moves further away on the bed. She refuses to look at Faith. It hurts too much.

 

“C’mon B,” Faith reaches for her again, “you know no one could possibly make me up.”

 

 

_“You have to start ridding your mind of the things that support your hallucinations,” the doctor says as Faith drifts away again.  All she sees is the white room and her mom holding her hand and all she hears are the doctors certain words._

_“Think about the things that make you want to stay there and do what you need to do to get rid of them.”_

_“Faith,” she whispers. Faith makes her-_

“I’m right here, B,” Faith leans forward, pressing a kiss to Buffy’s forehead. “Red’s working on the antidote and I ain’t going nowhere. I love you.”

 

That sounds so nice, Faith always knows exactly what she wants to-

 

_Her mom brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. She’s missed this so much, the way her mom used to always look after her._

_“Buffy, she’s not real. Faith's just a trick you're illness made up to keep you from being healthy.”_

_She nods, enjoying the feel of her mom’s fingers brushing through her hair. She can get better, she can beat this thing, she can-_

 

 

Buffy jumps off the bed, needing to be away from Faith. She needs to free herself of this delusion. It's just too perfect to be real, the way Faith just seems to get her. 

 

“God it just doesn’t make sense does it? That here I am struggling and then you just happen to show up and love me? It’s not real. You’re just tricking me so I’ll stay sick.”

 

“Buffy you gotta believe me, please,” Faith begs and the tears in her eyes make Buffy feel like crying. She closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to see. It'll be easier to believe it's all a delusion if she doesn't have to look at her.

 

_“I want to be healthy,” she says through tears, sinking into her mom’s embrace._

_“Then you need to do whatever it takes to get rid of the traps in your mind,” the doctor sounds so cold and she knows exactly what she has to do. It'll be hard to hurt them, but-_

 

Faith is standing in front of her, raw and vulnerable in a way Buffy has never seen her. She’s reaching for her, eyes desperate and Buffy almost gives in. It would be so easy to pretend that this is real.

Instead she smacks Faith hard across the face, knocking her into a dresser and effectively knocking her cold.

 

“I’m sorry, but this is the only way for me to be healthy again,” she says into the empty room.

 

She won’t let them trap her here. Not even Faith.

 

* * *

 

 

 She stares at the bound and gagged people she has assembled in her basement. Willow, Faith and Dawn-the people she cares most about in this world. Their pained expressions as they struggle against their restraints make her heart ache. She can hear Dawn’s muffled sobs through the tape across her mouth and she can see the betrayal in Willow’s eyes. She doesn't want to look at Faith.

 

_“Honey,” her mom’s voice soothes her, “just take your time.”_

She moves towards the demon Faith chained up down here earlier. Faith, always trying to save her. She really invented a perfect partner for herself.

She turns to look at her, unable to resist one more look before she closes herself off to this delusion. Her eyes lock with Faith’s and there is no pain, no confusion or betrayal there. Only love. She freezes, unable to tear her gaze away from the tenderness she sees in Faith’s eyes. It would be so nice to just-

 

_“Buffy, look at me. You can fight this,” her mom says as she finds herself back in the white room, “you’re too good to just give up.”_

_She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind and focus on her mom. Her mom and dad will take her home if she does this. Faith is just a trick. Faith isn't-_

The demon is awake and angry, trying desperately to free itself from his chains. She starts to help it, but she fumbles as she feels Faith’s eyes on her. They burn away her resolve. She's never had a stare affect her the way Faith's does. She'll miss those expressive brown eyes so-

 

_“Be strong honey, I know you’re afraid,” her mom’s holding her hand again, “I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes, but you’ve got people that love you.”_

_Suddenly her mom seems blurry, distant as all Buffy can think of is Faith. Faith loves-_

 

Faith loves her. Even now, tied and gagged Buffy can feel that love. It's the only thing she knows is real because there's just no way she could make up the way it makes her heart-

 

_“There’s a world of strength in your heart, honey. I know there is. You just have to find it again.”_

_She nods as it all becomes so clear to her. She knows she can find it again, she thinks maybe she already has. She can hear the struggles of the basement even as she stares into the eyes of her mother. The white room is starting to fade, so she squeezes her mom’s hands. Fuck, it hurts knowing this is goodbye._

_“I just want to be happy,” she says quietly, still squeezing her mom’s hands as she feels her eyes begin to water._

_“I think I can be,”_

_Her mom looks so happy and she can’t stop the sob that escapes her. She knows this isn’t real, but that doesn’t make this hurt less. _She gives her mom one final, sad smile.__

_“Goodbye.”_

 

Breathing hard, she wipes the tears from her eyes as she focuses on her reality.  The demon is close to breaking free from it’s chains and Faith, Dawn and Willow are still struggling to free themselves for their restraints. Without a thought she grabs the demon around the neck and twists. It drops to the floor dead, messy and very real.

 

“Eximete!”

 

Tara bursts into the room, freeing Faith, Willow and Dawn from their restraints. They all stare at Buffy as she looks around the room, taking in the damage she has caused. _God_ , she can't believe she hurt the people she loves like that. She looks down at her feet, unwilling to meet their eyes. She doesn't want to see how much she's hurt them. She feels exhausted enough without having to see their weary expressions. They'll probably never trust her again.

 

It's all too much and she stumbles forward, but she's caught before she hits the floor by two strong arms. She looks up and there it is again. Love. Faith’s love. And it’s so bright and _real_ that she just falls into it, collapsing into Faith completely as she lets the tears flow.

 

“I’m so sorry,” she chokes out between sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Gentle hands run through her hair, soothing her and making her believe she’s found her heart again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my hardest chapter to write so far. I just had a lot I wanted to get right and I hope you all like it. Feedback is always appreciated!!


	11. Becoming clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Faith and Buffy ever move out of this one step forward, two steps back routine? Because Faith is getting tired of it. 
> 
> This chapter is set in Entropy, though as always that just means some parts of that episode are canon to this story. A lot isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Faith's POV

Patrolling with Buffy is usually one of Faith’s favourite things to do, but right now she can’t help but feel tense as they stroll through the graveyard. It’s like they’ve taken three hundred steps back from the wedding and it’s got Faith feeling super confused. First she got to kiss Buffy and that was _wow_ , then Buffy was convinced nothing was real and she was really in some mental institution and things became the opposite of wow. It’s all just a lot. Faith's tired of everything always being a lot. 

She wants to just grab Buffy and kiss her again so they can skip the whole awkward stage they’re currently in. But, she still isn’t really sure how Buffy feels about her and that’s making her a little gun shy. Relationships really aren’t her game, but she wants one with Buffy and she doesn’t want to settle for anything less. She’s not sure how to express that though without sounding wicked corny.

 

“So this the grave?” Faith asks as they stop in front of a fresh grave. The answer is pretty obvious but she’s just sick of the awkward silence.

 

“Uh huh,” Buffy raises her stake slightly, not bothering to look at Faith. “And if it’s not then BBQ forks really are more dangerous than I thought.”

 

A hand slowly begins to rise from the ground and Faith smiles. She needs a good slay.

 

“Looks like you’re right, B,” she says as they watch a newbie vamp start to stumble out of his grave. “Want to place a bet on who can stake him-“

 

She slams face first into the dirt.

 

“Faith!” Buffy yells as she turns around to see another vamp hovering over her. Two new vamps, now that’s a party. With a grin she flips herself up and kicks him hard in the face.

 

“No worries, B. I’ve got this one covered,” she dodges an attempted punch with ease, “lets make some dust.”

 

She can hear Buffy fighting her own vamp as she slams hers to the ground. She loves this feeling, always has ever since she was called. _This_ she feels in control of. It’s so much clearer than whatever is going on with Buffy. The vamp flips her and leans towards her neck with a smirk. She fights off her own smirk, letting him think he’s winning.

 

“They say there’s nothing sweeter than the blood of a Slayer,” he leers, closing in.

 

She brings her knee up hard between his legs and he rolls off her with a groan.

 

“Guess you should have stayed away from the sweets,” she smirks down at him as she raises her stake and plunges it straight through his heart.

 

She wipes off the dust from her jeans as she gets up and turns to see Buffy finishing off her own vamp.

 

Buffy smiles as she moves toward Faith, pocketing her stake and breathing a little hard. Faith notices her own breathing is getting a little shallow. She’s not sure if it’s because of the fight with the vamp or if it’s because B always looks super hot post staking. Probably both.

 

“I didn’t tell you what snapped me out of it the other day, did I?” Buffy asks abruptly as she reaches Faith who just shakes her head.

 “You did,” Buffy confesses, “I wanted you and what you feel for me to be real. I didn’t want to miss out on that.”

 

Well that’s not what Faith was expecting. But, fuck it makes her feel good. Like she just won the lottery or killed a thousand vamps. Buffy’s staring down at her shoes all cute and shy and Faith really wants to kiss her. But, she doesn’t. Because she still can’t shake the feeling that she might get jerked around again.

 

“Still can’t believe you thought you made me up, B,” she teases, deciding that’s the safer option. “You obviously have a real pervy brain if you think it came up with this body.”

 

Faith gestures towards her chest and winks, enjoying the way Buffy blushes as she looks her up and down. She might not be leaping straight into making out again, but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to flirt as much as she possibly can.

 

* * *

 

 Faith leans against the kitchen counter, coffee in hand as Willow enters the room with a dopey grin.

 

“If the date with Tara went well enough to have you grinning like that, why are you here and not getting it on in her dorm?”

 

Faith waggles her eyebrows at Willow who just laughs and slaps her arm. They’re never going to be besties, but Faith has to admit she likes how much she’s been getting along with all the Scoobs recently. They accept her now-sometimes they even enjoy her company.

 

“We’re taking things slow. It’s nice,” Willow says with a nod, but Faith can see she’s not entirely on board with the slow thing.

 

“I give you till the end of the week before you’re upstairs at it like bunnies,” Faith says matter-of-factly, dodging Willow’s slap to the arm this time.

 

“Well at least we’re making progress unlike you and my best friend,” Willow responds knowingly.

Shit, does everyone know about her and B?

 

“I’m guessing Tara told you.”

 

There’s no point trying to deny it, she doesn’t even want to anymore. Plus, Willow might actually talk to Buffy about it and that could only help Faith out.

 

“No, I didn’t even know Tara knew,” Willow frowns a little, “how come she knew and I didn’t? No, don’t answer that it’s not important. But, honestly Faith I think I always knew you and Buffy had something that hinted at more than just friends. I think it’s why I was so jealous of you and Buffy when you first turned up.”

 

Faith’s eyebrows shoot up, she had always thought Willow was really weird with her that first time she was in Sunnydale and jealousy would make sense. But, did that mean that-

“Wait were you into B back then?” she asks and Willow’s eyes go wide, “not that I’d blame ya, Red, but maybe keep that on the down low around Tara.”

 

“Oh no never…well I mean Buffy is very attractive and I’m sure I’ve noticed on some level…but no that’s not what I meant,” Willow stutters, her face bright red. Faith just laughs, enjoying watching Red get all flustered. 

 

 “I just thought you’d take her away from me,” Willow adds, looking more composed. “At the time I thought that was just because you were so much cooler than me and you guys were bonding so much over slayer stuff. But, now I think it’s because I could see that it was about more than that. If you could offer her everything then she’d have no time for me.”

 

“Pretty sure she didn’t want anything I was offering back then.”

 

Back then Buffy had been all about Angel and Faith isn’t going to rewrite history. Sure, maybe on some level Buffy thought she was hot, but she definitely hadn’t wanted anything beyond friendship from Faith back then. Hell, Faith still isn’t entirely convinced Buffy is into more than that now. She’s just so damn confusing.

 

“Maybe not, I can’t say we really talked about it back then,” Willow concedes, "but, Faith she does want what you’re offering now. You make her happy.”

 

She really hopes that’s true. Corny as it is, all she wants is to make B happy.

 

“Maybe,” she offers Willow a small smile, “though I’m not sure this house will survive if we all start going at it like bunnies.”

 

Willow rolls her eyes, slapping Faith’s arm again. If Willow didn’t slap like such a girl, Faith would not be putting up with all this violence.

 

“Oh my god, thank god you’re here!”

 

Dawn bursts into the room, ending their bonding moment as she runs straight to Faith.

 

“Buffy wants to take me shopping and you one hundred percent need to come with us,” Dawn demands as she grabs Faith’s arms

 

“Uh why?” Faith asks, shooting a confused look at Willow who just smiles and shrugs. Great big freaking help Red is.

 

“To keep her distracted so I can find some actual cool outfits, duh.”

 

Faith doesn’t buy that that’s the only reason so she crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at Dawn who just sighs and rolls her eyes.

 

“Okay so I also need you to run interference so I don’t get another lecture on shop lifting. I get it. Stealing is bad. And Buffy always seems way more into laughing and smiling and less into lecturing when you’re around.”

 

“She does, doesn’t she,” Willow says, this time waggling her eyebrows at Faith.

 

“Fine, I’ll go,” Faith relents, raising her hands in surrender, “but I make no promises about controlling your sis, Dawnie.”

 

Dawn squeals and wraps Faith up in a quick hug before she practically bounces out of the room.

Faith’s left behind with a smirking Willow. Weirdly though she doesn’t mind the teasing. Sure, she’s over the way it makes her go red in the face, but it’s nice that they all feel comfortable joking around. It’s feels like being part of a family.

 

* * *

 

  

Faith sighs loudly as she watches Dawn and Buffy exit yet another shop. She likes shopping, but damn it’s been three hours already. And none of them really have the money to splurge on too much.

 

“You Summers’ gals really take this shopping stuff seriously,” she comments as the two girls reach her, “we almost done?”

 

“Maybe,” Buffy answers with a sly grin and Faith just groans. It’s unfair that Buffy’s so cute that Faith knows she’ll keep walking around with her no matter how much longer it takes. 

 

“Quit complaining and start joining in the shopping fun,” Dawn says, practically skipping ahead of Faith and Buffy. Things have been so tense for as long as Faith’s been back that it’s nice seeing Dawnie just act like a teenager again.

 

“So Red looking into the whereabouts of the nerd squad while we’re out?” Faith asks Buffy as they continue to follow Dawn.

 

She wishes they could just focus on the shopping trip, but the Trio or whatever it is they call themselves have been able to avoid them for far too long and they’ve got to get to the bottom of it all.

 

“Yeah Willow’s being research girl. Though I told her she’s allowed to have a Tara break when she needs it.”

 

“Oh I’m sure she’ll be needing it,” Faith smirks, thinking about how Tara and Willow are probably awkwardly flirting with each other right this very moment. Or, hopefully, actually banging like they want to. Someone in the house should be getting some action.

 

“They’re sweet together,” Buffy says with a wistful sigh and Faith looks over at her. She looks so peaceful, just strolling along in the sun and thinking about her friends. Faith doesn’t think she’s ever seen Buffy look so at peace before and her heart skips a beat at how beautiful the sight is.

 

“Buffy!” Dawn calls, interrupting the peace and Faith’s staring. “There’s a shop up here I want to go in so I’ll catch up with you two.”

 

“I’ll come join you!”

 

Dawn gives Faith a meaningful look. Oh right she’s meant to be stopping Buffy from cramping Dawnie’s style.

 

She slings an arm around Buffy’s shoulders, steering her attention away from Dawn.  

 

“C’mon B, how ‘bout you buy me an ice-cream instead. I’d say I deserve one after following you two around all day,” she gives Buffy her most charming smile and she gives Dawn a thumbs up from behind Buffy’s back.

 

Buffy rolls her eyes, but she also smiles that adorable little half smile that always makes Faith feel embarrassingly close to swooning. 

 

“Okay, greedy,” Buffy teases and Faith feels Buffy’s arm slide around her waist.  “Dawnie we’ll be at the ice-cream place.”

 

Dawn shoots Faith a grin and mouths a ‘thanks’ as she and Buffy pass by, but Faith barely register it. Her cheesy ass brain can’t focus on anything but how nice it is to have Buffy tucked up against her.

* * *

 

Faith should have learnt by now that peaceful moments don’t last in Sunnydale, but dammit she had been hoping it would last long enough for her to actually have a proper conversation with Buffy about everything that's happened between them. But, no the nerd squad had put an end to that by being the creeps they are and spying on the Summers' house.  A camera in a garden gnome is pretty freaking weird, even by ‘The Trio’s’ standards.

 

Luckily, Willow is great with technology and is currently trying to hack into their surveillance system in the hopes they’ll finally find out where these idiots are living. Faith’s watching and providing moral support. Her version of moral support is yelling “hurry up, Red” and “put your nerd skills to good work” every few minutes. Maybe it’s a little harsh, but she just wants to find these guys so she can give them a serious pounding. Like just enough to make them hurt, not enough to kill them obviously. 

 

“Oh my god. The Doublemeat Palace, The Bronze, my classrooms on campus, Xander’s site…” Willow trails off, looking shocked as she lists all the places these creeps have cameras.

 

“Yeah I get it, they’ve been stalking us,” Faith grumbles, “but how about focusing on getting their location?”

 

“I’m trying!” Willow bites back, never taking her eyes away from the computer as Faith paces.

 

This stuff is really not her jam. She’s only helping because Buffy is with Dawn doing some inventory at the Magic Box to help out Anya who is still on her honeymoon with Xander. Buffy had insisted that she and Dawn needed some quality sister time so Faith had stayed behind. Waiting for Red to figure out where the ‘Trio’ is had seemed like at least it would lead to some action. She just had forgotten how slow this part can be. Mostly cause she usually has Buffy as a distraction when all this boring stuff is happening.

 

“Aww cute,” Willow says after a few minutes of silence and Faith stops her pacing to see what on earth would get that reaction at a time like this.

 

“Wait is that the Magic Box?” Faith asks as she leans in closer, “what’s so cute about the-“

 

She cuts herself off as she sees Buffy at the table of the Magic Box, doodling away. She seems lost in her own little world as she draws something in her notebook, a dreamy smile on her face. Yeah, Red’s right it’s definitely cute. Faith grins as she gets closer to the screen, enjoying how young and carefree Buffy looks. It reminds her of the time they spent at the ice-cream place the other day. Buffy laughing as Faith messily ate her giant serving of ice-cream, Buffy blushing furiously when Faith wiped some ice-cream off the corner of her mouth and the two of them just soaking up each other’s company without worrying about anything bad. Faith had never felt lighter than she had sitting in that ice-cream shop with Buffy.

 

Something in Buffy’s drawing catches her eye, something that looks like a giant ‘F’ and reminds her of something she saw Buffy doodling years ago.

 

“Hey, Red, can you zoom in a little?” she asks, completely forgetting that they’re meant to be finding the location of the nerds. Her heart’s beating fast and she just has to know.

 

“Uh sure,” Willow says, looking confused and unsure. “I’m not sure how that will help us though,” she adds as she zooms in.

 

Faith feels everything click into place as she stares at the blurry image of Buffy’s doodle. She had been right, it is just like a doodle she saw Buffy doing years ago. This time though it doesn’t make her heart sink. Because this time it’s not about a souled vampire, this time it’s about her. It might be blurred, but she can see the heart Buffy has drawn and the words inside that read ‘Faith + Buffy Forever’. It’s a tad childish, sure, but it’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for Faith and she feels like she's floating. She’s not unsure anymore, she knows now that she has a place in Buffy’s heart. It's time to stop dancing around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much lighter chapter which I hope you all enjoyed. Given a lot of s6 is no longer canon to this story as Faith's presence has changed a lot, this chapter is probably the one that steers away from the plot of the episode it's based on the most. But, I thought it made sense to have it end on a sweet moment as Faith deserves it. Hope you all enjoyed it and as always feedback is appreciated!!


	12. True colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will things in Sunnydale slow down enough for Buffy and Faith to finally start their relationship?
> 
> Set during Seeing Red, as always that just means that some of that episode is used in this chapter and not that the whole episode is canon.

“Red and Tara sure don’t know what quiet means, do they?”

 

The inappropriate question slips out before Faith can stop herself. She’s all amped up and when she’s amped up her filter goes out the window. Not that her filter works so great normally.

 

“I think it’s sweet,” Buffy replies as they approach what looks like an average suburban house.

They’ve finally located the nerd squad’s headquarters and Faith is getting ansty to kick some ass.  

 

“Oh yeah the ‘oh god Tara, that’s it baby’ and ‘harder, Willow, harder’ was peak sweetness,” Faith smirks and Buffy smacks her hard in the arm. Yeah, her filter is well and truly gone.

 

“Now is so not the time,” Buffy sounds a little flustered and Faith wants to push it further, but they’re at the front door to the house already. Flirting with Buffy can wait a minute.

 

“You wanna do the honors or should I?”

 

Instead of answering, Buffy just smiles sweetly at her and without a word kicks the door in. Faith grins and follows a determined Buffy into the house. Fuck, she loves when Buffy takes charge.

 

The house is eerily quiet as they stomp through it looking for the door to the basement. It’s hardly surprising to Faith that three losers with women issues would be living in a basement. They find the door fairly easily and Faith doesn’t even have a chance to make a quip before Buffy is kicking it down. 

 

“All right lets make this quick,” Buffy announces as they start moving down the stairs into the basement.

 

There’s no response.

 

“C’mon out boys, we just wanna chat,” Faith chimes in as they reach the bottom of the stairs.

 

Nothing. Not a single sound.

The place itself is full of things and is somehow even creepier than their last basement had been. If she hadn’t known these guys were wicked pervy before, just looking at all their weird nerd memorabilia would clue her in. Still, she wishes being pervy was their worst crime. On top of being creeps, they're also dangerous. 

 

She moves away from the bizarrely sexual action figures and spots a whiteboard that’s on an angle. She can’t see what’s on it, but it seems like the sort of thing that just might have some useful information on it. It might not be the pummeling she wants, but hopefully it’ll lead them to something that will have them pummelling the nerds later.

 

“Think I found something, B,” she calls as she approaches the whiteboard and Buffy’s at her side a moment later. She turns the whiteboard over. There’s only two words on it; ‘TOO LATE’. Motherfuckers have gotten away again.

 

“How do they keep-“

 

She’s cut off by a buzz saw chopping the whiteboard clean in half, barely missing her and Buffy as they dive out of the way. Well fuck. They’ve walked right into a trap. But, she has no time to worry about that because the buzzing is coming from everywhere. Faith looks up to see a saw coming at her head. She shifts out of the way only to see another coming at her chest. She twists away just in time and looks for Buffy.

 

“Buffy!” she yells as she spots both the girl and the saw heading straight for her knees. Buffy dives over it, managing to get away without a scratch. Faith rushes to her, grabbing Buffy’s hand and dragging her towards the stairs.

 

With all their slayer speed they race up the stairs and out of the house, the sound of the saws echoing in Faith’s ears as they leap out the front door. It’s not graceful and she lands hard on her back, but shit she’s just glad to have no bits cut off. Buffy lands on top of her with a thud.  She feels warm and, most importantly, like she hasn’t had any parts sliced off either.

 

She’s about to make a joke when she realizes just how close Buffy’s face is to her own. They’re both breathing hard as they stare at each other and Faith feels a new kind of tension settle over them. She’s not sure who moves first, but it doesn’t matter because all that matters is Buffy’s lips moving against her own.  

 

 _God_ , she’d missed this. She’d barely had a chance to enjoy it last time and then suddenly everything had gotten so awkward. She slides a hand into Buffy’s hair as her tongue slides into Buffy's mouth. And fuck there’s nothing hotter in the whole world than Buffy’s moan. Faith can’t get enough. She wants to touch Buffy _everywhere_. She’s also so not into being a bottom, so she flips B easily without breaking the kiss. One of her hands slides under Buffy’s top, moving up a taught stomach as Buffy sucks on her tongue. _Holy shit,_ that just might be hotter than hearing her moan. Faith breaks the kiss, her breathing ragged, and is about to start kissing Buffy’s neck when Buffy gently shoves her backwards.

 

Great. Just when she thought they were finally getting somewhere.

 

“B, you can’t play these games with me again. I’m not-“

 

She’s cut off by Buffy’s finger on her lips.

 

“I really _want_ to keep kissing you. Just not on the front lawn of a house that’s just collapsed.”

 

She looks behind her, begrudging realising Buffy has a point. Cause yeah the house is completely wrecked and they had just been getting their mack on in daylight on a suburban lawn.

 

“Forgot about all that,” she mumbles, feeling a little embarrassed. It’s not her fault Buffy kisses make her forget how to be rational.

 

“I forgot about it for a minute too,” Buffy reaches forward and cups Faith’s cheek as she gives her a shy smile. “You make my brain all gooey.”

 

Faith chuckles and leans into Buffy’s touch as she intertwines her fingers with Buffy’s free hand. She never thought she’d enjoy all these gentle touches as much as she does.

 

“You make me pretty gooey too, B.”

 

“I really like you Faith,” Buffy says quietly, looking down at their linked hands. “I felt like I was in hell, being back here. You make it all feel easier, like I can be happy again. And I really want to see where this goes.”

 

Faith grins like a goddam fool as she leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Buffy’s lips just because she can. She’s never felt anything like this before. It’s like killing a million vampires and eating all the ribs she can lay her hands on. Except it’s way better than those things could ever be. Buffy wants to be with her. _Her_. Every demon in the Hellmouth could burst forward right now and it would do nothing to dampen her mood.

 

* * *

  

Faith usually loves the Bronze. It’s the only place in Sunnydale where she can properly get her dance on. That and she’s always loved any excuse to dance up close to Buffy. Right now though, she wishes they could just leave. Because Buffy’s hand is on her thigh and she just wants to be kissing her. But, they had agreed before they came here that they’re not telling anyone about what’s happening between them until they work it all out themselves. Faith grins to herself as she remembers the very hot make out session they had before and after that conversation. The make out session she wishes they were continuing right now instead of sitting here at the Bronze listening to Anya and Xander tell everyone about their honeymoon.

 

“So then I suggested we have sex in the pool. But, Xander is no fun and said ‘no Anya there’s kids in there’ which honestly is ridiculous because the children need to learn.”

 

So far Anya’s tales about their honeymoon have all been about sex and the only thing good about them is that Xander has gone so red that Faith thinks he might just explode.

 

“Anya, sweetie, maybe it’s time to tell the group about some of the sights we saw or literally anythingelse,” Xander cuts in and Willow, Tara and Buffy all nod enthusiastically. It’s adorable how flustered Buffy gets whenever she hears about her friends sex lives. She wonder if Buffy will get this flustered when they have their own sex life to talk about. 

 

“Oh you mean like when we went to that museum and snuck into the bathroom to-“

 

Faith almost spits out her beer as Xander clamps a hand over Anya’s mouth, cutting her off. Buffy squeezes her thigh a little too hard and sends her a disapproving look. She just shoots her a wink and slips an arm casually behind Buffy’s chair so she can lightly run her fingers over the back of Buffy’s neck. It’s kind of exhilarating feeling the goosebumps form under her touch.

 

“Okay, time to hear what everyone else got up to while we were away. It looks like my two favourite witches have reconciled,” Xander playfully waggles his eyebrows at Tara and Willow.

 

Tara and Red share a shy little smile and nod. It’s all very cute. Yeah, Faith Lehane thinks it's cute. Whatever. It’s like her brain is on a Buffy high and is unable to be anything but sappy right now.

 

She loses track of the conversation as she focuses on the feel of Buffy’s hand moving up and down her thigh. This is decidedly less sappy and 100% turning Faith on. It’s been a _really_ long time since she’s gotten any. Pre-jail long. And she’s never wanted anyone the way she wants B. And now she’s gotten a taste, well fuck she can’t wait for the full-

 

“Well look what we have here. Ain’t this cozy?”

 

She’d know that stupid accent anywhere. And sure enough approaching their table is the bleached blonde asshole she so wants to stake. Fucking Spike.

 

“Didn’t think you were dumb enough to show up again, Willy” she spits out, her arm dropping from the chair to rest protectively around Buffy’s shoulders.

 

“Found some new friends and they wanted me to come,” Spike replies with a sly grin, pointing to three guys who are currently harassing a woman on the other side of the club. They look familiar, but she can't really make them out.

 

“The Trio? Those are your new friends?” Buffy sounds incredulous and her nails dig a little into Faith’s thigh. Faith's eyes go wide, partly in pain and mostly because Spike and the nerd squad is definitely not a team she ever saw forming. 

 

“Your loss, pet,” he leans towards Buffy with a smirk, tracing a finger up her arm and that’s enough for Faith to snap. In a flash she's up out of her chair and knocking him to the floor with a single punch.

 

“Oh look it’s the psycho slayer playing the role of protector. I never thought I’d smell you all over her,” he sneers from his place on the floor, looking knowingly over at Buffy. Faith is about to punch him again when Buffy beats her to it. Buffy knocks him out with one solid punch to his jaw and Faith feels pretty damn proud. That’s her girl.

 

“Xander?” she calls, looking back to the table at the four stunned faces. “Think you can help me kick out Team Nerd?”

 

“Team Nerd. That’s cute.”

 

 She turns to face Captain Nerd. Or Warren? Yeah she’s pretty sure his name is Warren. Whatever it is, she can’t wait to re-arrange his face.

 

“Your ass sure is overdue for a whooping,” Faith says with a wicked grin, feeling the rage curse through her as she punches him right in the-

 

What the fuck? She shakes out her hand, trying to regain feeling in it as Warren laughs at her.

 

“Sorry baby, guess you haven’t come up against a real man,” he replies, kicking her hard in the chest and sending her crashing into the bar.

 

“Faith!”

 

She feels dizzy and everything is a little blurry, but she knows it’s Buffy’s hand on her cheek. She looks up to see concerned green eyes gazing down at her.

How the hell did that little bitch manage to hurt her so much?

 

“I’m okay, B,” she offers Buffy a a reassuring smile as she sits up and takes in the scene before her. Lord of the Nerds is gone. And so is Spike and the two junior nerds.

 

Well shit, that can’t be good.

 

* * *

 

 

“How long do you think they’re gonna be?” Faith asks Buffy as they watch two security guards load stuff into a van from a nearby rooftop. 

Red and Tara had been sure this was the van the Trio were planning on robbing, but so far they haven’t seen them. And they still have no idea why Warren is suddenly so damn strong. They’re just hoping two slayers will be able to take him. Or at least stop him.

 

“Well they want money and the money is here, so my guess is-“

 

Buffy’s cut off by a bang as Warren knocks the security guards into the door of the van, Spike and the other two nerds flanking him.

 

“Now,” Buffy finishes as she jumps onto the roof of the van.

 

“Is this your bank?” Buffy asks innocently, “cause if not there’s going to be a fee for that.”

 

Faith watches as she leaps of the van right into Warren who easily catches her and flings her to the side. Fucking asshole. 

 

“I was wondering when Super Bitch would show up,” Warren’s two nerdy friends chuckle at his lame joke and Spike just rolls his eyes. 

 

“Guess you forgot there are _two_ Super Bitches,” Faith says, catching Warren off guard as she jumps from the roof and lands a kick straight to his face. He stumbles only a little, but it gives her enough time to tackle him to the ground.

 

Suddenly, she’s ripped off Warren and flung into the ground herself. She looks up to see Spike looming over her, a predatory look in his cold eyes.

 

“What the hell chip boy? I thought you couldn’t hurt people,” Faith flips herself back up, glancing back at Buffy just in time to see the other girl charging at Warren. She trusts her to get the nerds under control while she focuses on Spike. It's time to end him, once and for all. 

 

“Gift from my new best pals,” Spike replies, kicking her hard in the stomach.  She groans and stumbles forward, feeling pretty sure he just cracked a rib. “God, it feels so good to do that again. Killing demons is nothing compared to killing slayers.”

 

“You ain’t gonna get to enjoy either in a minute,” Faith grits her teeth, ignoring the pain as she lunges at Spike and pins him to the ground. He just grins up at her like a madman.

 

“She’ll never love you, you know,” he says gleefully, kicking out her leg so he can flip her over.

 

“You’re beneath her, just like I was. I finally learnt that and now the bitch is going to get what she deserves,” he leans in close to her ear and she shivers, feeling almost paralysed. There’s a part of her that believes him. Everything she’s done, all the bad, it sits in the back of her mind always. Could she really deserve someone as good as Buffy?

 

“First though, I’m going to drain you while she’s distracted by my mate over there,” Spike's face shifts to vamp mode as he closes in on her. She looks over to where Buffy is fighting Warren and sees the small junior nerd jump on her. She feels so weak under Spike while Buffy looks so strong. She can feel his fangs now, just resting against her neck.

 

“Maybe the guilt of not saving you will make her feel low enough to finally sleep with me before I kill my fourth slayer.”

 

She slams her knee up between his legs, the thought of him hurting Buffy snapping her out her morbid thoughts. Maybe he is right and she is beneath Buffy, but fuck if that means she’ll let him hurt her. He groans in pain and she uses the opportunity to flip him over again, grabbing her stake and holding it right to his chest.

 

“ Looks like your last memory is gonna be me on top of you” she says with a grin, “Almost an honour really. A lot of guys and gals definitely wouldn’t be mad about that.”

 

His shocked eyes lock with hers as she drives the stake into his heart. She can't help but smile, it feels good to stare into his pile of dust.

 

She knows she can savor the moment later though, right now Buffy needs her. She gets up and runs towards where Buffy is still fighting Warren, getting there just in time to see Buffy smash some weird looking rocks.

 

“Goodnight, bitch,” Buffy quips before she spins and kicks Warren straight in the chest. Faith watches as he goes flying before landing hard on the ground. So the weird rocks must have had some magic mojo or something. She'll have to ask B about how she figured that out later.

 

“Nice work, B,” she smiles at Buffy who grins back as they watch Warren struggling to get up. 

 

“Where’s Spike?” he asks as he finally gets to his feet, clearly surprised to see Faith back in the fray.

 

“Dust,” she replies with a smirk and Warren looks beyond furious at that piece of information. But, it’s not at all scary now Faith knows his super powers are gone. She advances towards him, ready to _finally_ kick his ass.

 

“I’m so going to take you down, you fucking bitch,” he snarls.

 

“You and what army? Those two dweebs over there?” she laughs, closing in on him with Buffy at her side.

 

“Hey!” one of the other nerds responds, but she doesn’t give them any attention.

 

Warren smirks as he removes his jacket and is that-yep it's a freaking jet pack. 

 

“You’ll just have to wait and see, kitty.”

 

With that wicked creepy comment,  he presses a button and shoots up into the air.

 

“Oh come on,” Buffy groans, watching Warren fly away.

 

Faith never would have thought Lord of the Nerds would prove harder to take out than Spike.

 

* * *

 

  

Faith sips her coffee as she sits on a bench in the Summers’ backyard. Last night had been a lot and when she and Buffy had returned home they hadn’t really talked. Just gone to their separate beds exhausted.

 

She felt so good dusting Spike yesterday and she knows it was the right thing to do, but it feels like a weird thing to talk to Buffy about. Dude had tried to isolate her from her friends to get her to sleep with him, but Faith also knows he did some good for the gang before she broke out of jail.

 

“Hey,”

 

She looks up to see Buffy approaching her. She had felt her even before she said anything. Since they’ve started…well they still haven’t had time to label whatever it is they’re doing. But, since it started she always just feels so warm whenever Buffy is near. Like a permanent tingle.

 

“Hey,” she greets, moving over on the bench so Buffy can sit next to her.

 

“Sleep well?” Buffy asks, curling herself into Faith’s side. Faith puts her arm around Buffy’s shoulders, pulling her in closer as Buffy’s arm wraps around her waist. This cuddling stuff really is nice. She feels so calm just holding Buffy. And calm is not something Faith is used to. She likes it though. Hopes maybe it’s something she gets the chance to get used to.

 

“Would have slept better if you were in bed with me,” she says with a smirk and is pleased by the way Buffy’s cheeks tinge pink.

 

“I’m glad you dusted, Spike,” Buffy says, suddenly serious, “I’m not sure I could have. But, I know he deserved it.”

 

“I know he did some good for you guys for a while, B,” Faith replies with a shrug.

 

“He did,” Buffy admits, “but I think sometimes we forgot what he still was. A vampire without a soul. And he proved that outweighed the good last night.”

 

“Still I get it might be weird for you,” Faith says softly, because she does get it. This wasn't some random newbie vamp. 

 

“It’s cheesy, but I can’t feel bad about anything when I’m all snuggled up with you,” Buffy nuzzles Faith’s neck, and Faith feels like she's buzzing. She feels herself relax, glad they’re over the awkward Spike talk. Playful, cheesy Buffy she definitely likes.

 

“This is just too precious.”

 

Faith lets go of Buffy immediately, jumping to her feet at the sound of Warren’s voice.

 

“You think you can just do that to me? Think I’d let you get away with it? Think again-“

 

Without warning Warren raises a gun, firing at Faith before she can react.  _Oh_. Well that’s bad.

 

“What’s going-“ Is that Xander? There’s another shot as she falls to the ground. There’s a thud that she thinks could be another body. Hopefully not B. 

 

“FAITH!!”

 

B’s okay. She’s calling her name. Faith wants so badly to answer her, to look up at her gorgeous face again. But, she can’t keep her eyes open anymore. It hurts. It hurts everywhere. Maybe a little sleep won’t-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some twists in this chapter. And a cliffhanger!! Hope you all enjoyed and as always feedback is appreciated!


	13. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Faith survive the gun shot? Did Xander? 
> 
> This is also the first chapter that really isn't based on any canon episode. It takes things in a new direction based on the changes that have been made to the canon all through this story.

Fuck her head hurts. No, scratch that her whole freaking body hurts.  Slowly she opens her eyes, the harsh lighting tipping her off to the fact that she’s in hospital. Hospitals have the worst lighting. Blinking, it all comes back to her. The gun shot, Warren, Buffy’s terrified voice calling her name.   _That’_ s why she hurts all over.

 

“Faith?”

 

She turns to the side and sees Buffy, eyes red and hair messy, sitting beside her and holding her hand. _God_ , she loves this girl.  

 

“Hey B,” she smiles softly at Buffy who launches herself at Faith, kissing her soundly. The pain seems to melt away as she returns the kiss, wrapping her  arms around Buffy as best she can while lying in a hospital bed.

 

“I was so worried about you, baby,” Buffy whispers as she pulls away just a little, her hand coming up to stroke Faith’s cheek. She feels super cheesy, but damn she loves the sound of Buffy calling her baby.

 

“You know me, I’m more into comas than dying,” Faith says with laugh as she pulls Buffy to lie next to her in the too small hospital bed. She just wants her as close as she can get her. The way Buffy nuzzles into her neck as her arm moves to rest on Faith’s stomach makes it pretty clear Buffy just wants to be as close as possible too.

 

“Still, you scared me so no more coma’s for you,” Buffy  wags her finger at her playfully before she sighs, burying her face in Faith's neck.

After a moment, Buffy begins to pepper little kisses along Faith’s jawline. She's getting worked up quicker than she’d like to admit with Buffy’s hand drawing random patterns on her stomach and Buffy’s mouth leaving a trail of hot kisses against her jaw.

 

“Ah fuck,” she hisses as Buffy’s hand moves up her stomach, accidently brushing against her wound.  Buffy stills her movements, pulling away to look at Faith with concern.

 

“Just a little tender there, B,” Faith presses a reassuring kiss to Buffy’s lips, “Besides as much as I enjoy you feeling me up, I kinda want to know what happened. I thought I heard another shot before…”

 

She runs a hand through Buffy’s hair as she watches the color drain from Buffy’s face. _Shit_. This isn’t going to be good.

 

“Xander-he was coming in to visit and Warren…he’s in surgery right now.”

 

Faith’s heart sinks as tears begin to roll down Buffy’s cheeks. She gently wipes them away with her thumb.

 

“God, I’m such a bad friend. I completely forgot about all that the second you woke up,” Buffy sounds furious with herself.

 

Faith feels inappropriately elated at this confession and she struggles to hold in a smile. It’s just so nice to hear how much she means to Buffy, to know that her life means that much to the one person who means the most to her.

 

“B, you’ve done nothing wrong,” she rests her forehead against Buffy’s, making Buffy look at her. “You just got caught up in getting ya hot girlfriend back, Xander would totally get it.”

 

Buffy lets out a watery laugh and leans forward to peck Faith’s cheek.

 

“You’re good at that. Making me laugh even when I feel like I shouldn’t,” Buffy says as she snuggles back into Faith’s side.

 

“Special talent,” Faith presses her lips to Buffy’s forehead, “Xander will pull through, babe. Dude’s a fighter.”

 

She takes comfort in how good it feels to have Buffy in her arms as she tries to convince herself that what she just said is true.  She really hopes it’ll prove true. Xander doesn't deserve to go out like that, especially not when he just manned up and got himself hitched. Xander deserves a good-

 

A knock on the door jolts her out of her thoughts and she looks up to see Willow. Her chest tightens as she takes in the tears streaming down Red’s face. _Oh no_.

 

“Xander- he didn’t make it.”

 

Faith feels tears well up in her own eyes as she hugs Buffy tighter to her. Buffy’s sobs seem to hurt her more than the bullet did.

 

* * *

 

 

 Xander’s dead. In a way they can’t reverse. He’s dead and Faith can’t even kill the bastard that did it. The Faith of three years ago-well no the Faith of three years ago wouldn’t have cared about Xander living or dying enough to seek vengeance.

 

Right now all she can do is hold Buffy as the gang gathers in the Summers’ house. If anyone was paying attention they’d be able to see that her relationship with Buffy has changed, what with how Buffy’s cuddled up against her on the couch with her hand resting on Faith’s thigh. But, everyone is too caught up in their own grief to care. Or maybe Buffy told them all while Faith was in hospital.

 

Dawnie is crying steadily into Tara’s shoulder while Red is trying to be stoic as Anya rants and wails to the room, but Faith can see the tears streaming down her face too.

 

“Warren needs to pay for what he’s done,” Anya sounds so broken, speaking through her sobs. It kind of makes Faith want to be selfish and grab Buffy and just run as far as they can from this stupid fucking Hellmouth full of evil monsters and sometimes even worse humans. The thought of losing Buffy now she really has her… _god_ , it makes her heart ache in ways she can’t even describe.

 

“And he will,” Buffy responds fiercely, reaching over to rest a hand comfortingly on Anya’s shoulder. “Faith and I will track him down and I will make sure he goes to jail where he belongs for a very long time.”

 

And that’s why she could never be selfish and take Buffy away, even if it kept them safe. They wouldn’t be them if they weren’t Slayers fighting evil. It’s who they are.

 

“Jail isn’t enough,” Anya yells, “he killed my Xander. He deserves to die.”

 

“I-we don’t kill humans, Anya. It’s not right,” Buffy says, trying to stay calm.

 

“She did before!” Anya turns her furious eyes to Faith, “and this time she would be killing someone who deserves it.”

 

Faith digs her nails into the palm of her hand to stop herself from lashing out. Anya’s right. This would be killing someone who deserves it. The people she killed didn’t deserve the pain, but Warren would. Still, she _knows_ it’s wrong. She _believes_ it’s wrong. She’s not that girl anymore. She doesn't want to be that girl anymore.

 

“Anya, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. I feel numb all over because I loved- _love_ Xander like a brother. But, I know it’s nothing to the pain you must be feeling,” Buffy pauses and squeezes Faith's thigh. “But, don’t for a second think I’ll let you try to convince my girlfriend to kill a human for you just because you're in pain.”

 

Girlfriend. Faith can’t help but brighten a little at the word that just slipped out of Buffy’s mouth. It's the first time Buffy has called her that in public. B is her girlfriend. She fights back a grin. Now really isn’t the time.

 

“Girlfriend?” Dawn asks incredulously, suddenly staring at how Faith and Buffy are cuddled up on the couch.

 

“Buffy and Faith’s sudden Sapphic relationship is not what we’re talking about!” Anya snaps.

 

The room goes silent and Faith mouths a ‘later’ at Dawn who looks like she wants to push for more, though one glance at Anya quiets her. Anya sinks back into the couch, cradling her head in her hands.

 

“Don’t any of you wish that Warren could, I don’t know, get shot twenty times at point blank range so he suffers in some way for what he did?” Anya asks suddenly, looking around at everyone in the room.

 

“Well obviously we wish-“

 

“No, don’t say wish,” Tara cuts Willow off before she can finish what she’s saying. She’s staring at Anya curiously. Huh. Faith wonders what got _that_ reaction out of Tara of all people.

 

“Why shouldn’t they wish for what they want? Maybe somebody here wants to wish for Warren to get pulled apart by wild bears.”

 

Faith feels Buffy stiffen in her arms at Anya’s words. Now she’s really freaking confused.

 

“Anya,” Buffy says slowly, “why are you asking us to wish for things?”

 

Anya’s eyes go dark as she looks to Buffy, the tears suddenly gone.

 

"You always have to stick your nose in other people’s business, don’t you?”

 

Faith can only watch in horror as nasty looking lines spread across Anya’s face. She looks just like her friend from the wedding, Hali-something or other.

 _Oh_. It all suddenly clicks for Faith. Anya is a vengeance demon again.

 

There’s a bang and Faith finds herself on the floor. She looks around and sees she’s not alone. In fact, the only one still standing is a smirking Anya.

 

“I thought the wishes might be fun, a bit of a throwback to my younger years. But, good thing I don’t actually need them anymore. And if you won’t help me kill the man that killed my Xander, then I’ll do it alone.”

 

With a crack, Anya disappears.  

 

* * *

 

 

“So I know this is totally not the time, but uh girlfriend?” Dawn asks as she walks with Faith and Buffy through Sunnydale.

 

They’ve spent the past 24 hours looking for Anya and Warren, so far they’ve been unable to find them. Buffy had wanted to drop Dawn off somewhere safe, but Faith had convinced her that Dawn was safest with them.

 

She had forgotten that meant Dawn would be bugging them as they searched. She really should have suggested Dawn stay with Willow and Tara. They’re still at the Summers’ house working on a locator spell. Well Tara is working on the spell while Willow offers her support. Red still isn’t ready for that kind of tempting magic mojo again. 

 

“Yes, Faith is my girlfriend,” Buffy says matter-of-factly and Faith grins at her. She throws a wink Dawn's way before wrapping her arms around Buffy’s waist and pulling her in for a kiss. If Dawnie's going to bug them then she might as well have some fun too. 

 

“Okay eww! I’m happy for you both _finally_ realizing you’re totally in love, but I so don’t need to see that!”

 

They break apart and Buffy rolls her eyes at her sister as she reaches for Faith’s hand.

 

“You asked Dawnie,” Faith laughs, lacing her fingers with Buffy as they continue to walk through Sunnydale.

 

It feels weird, getting to have this happy moment with Buffy when everything around them is going to shit. When Xander’s still gone. But, she can’t help but enjoy the moment anyway. If everything is going to shit, then maybe these are the moments they need to get them through it. 

 

There are signs of Anya and Warren’s game of cat and mouse everywhere. Potholes in the road that weren’t there yesterday, a tree split in half even though there’s been no storm and a very quiet street. The residents of Sunnydale seem to have learnt when to stay inside. If only there were signs of where Anya and Warren are now. 

 

“I feel like we should wait in The Magic Box,” Buffy says, moving the subject away from her and Faith. “Anya is bound to go there eventually.”

 

“Plus Giles left a lot of cool weapons there,” Faith adds without a thought. 

 

“We’re not going to use weapons on Anya, are we?” Dawn sounds terrified and Faith mentally kicks herself. 

 

“Nah squirt, it’s just good to know they’re there if we need them. Hopefully B and me will be able to talk her out of this before she causes any real damage.”

 

Buffy nods, but she shoots Faith a concerned look that Dawn can’t see. Buffy knows, just like she does, that they probably will have to get a little violent with Anya. Hopefully just not ‘kill the vengeance demon and Xander’s grieving widow’ violent’. It'll all depend on Anya. 

 

She squeezes Buffy’s hand and gives her a reassuring smile. They'll deal with whatever they have to as a team. The Chosen Two.

 

* * *

 

 

Someone is definitely in The Magic Box. Faith can see that the door is a little ajar and the lights are on.

 

“Dawnie, stay back yeah?” Faith calls over her shoulder as she gestures for Buffy to follow her.

 

She’s not really sure what to expect so she approaches cautiously. Well, it's cautious by her standards. 

 

Will Anya be in there crying over Xander? Will she be looking up fun ways to kill Warren? Will she be meeting with her other demon friends? Or is Warren in there looking up magic ways to inflict more pain on the Scoobs?

 

Slowly she cracks the door open a little more and sneaks in, feeling Buffy following just behind her. This connection thing is wicked cool for moments like this. She really wants to know if it’ll come into play when they finally have sex…

 

She shakes her head a little to clear her mind. Now is really not the time for those thoughts.

 

She hears someone moving on the other side of the room. Buffy’s eyes meet hers and she nods once before looking off to the side. Faith nods back and heads towards her own side.

 

There’s a cough and now she knows it's a man. Fucking Warren. Sneaking towards the sound, Faith grabs a skull from one of the shelves. She raises it above her head and jumps out from behind the shelves, bringing the skull crashing down onto Warren’s-

 

“Giles!” Buffy yells in surprise as the man that is clearly Giles, not Warren, falls heavily to the floor.

 

Oops.

 

* * *

 

 

“You're sure you’re okay?” Buffy asks as she helps Giles up into a chair.

 

Faith decides to stand a little back, mostly just feeling relieved that Giles had only been knocked out for a few minutes and hopefully can't be too  mad.

 

“Yes, quite,” Giles responds as he rubs the place the skull hit…well his skull.  “It’s sadly not the first time one of you has knocked me out by mistake.”

 

He raises an eyebrow at them both and his small smile is teasing, so Faith allows herself to relax. He has a point, dude gets knocked out a lot. Dawn had rolled her eyes when she’d entered The Magic Box and seen Giles on the floor, mumbling something that sounded like ‘typical’ before she had headed off to the staff kitchen for some ice.

 

Feeling less awkward, Faith moves forward to stand next to Buffy who immediately slips an arm around her waist. She is _really_ enjoying how touchy feely Buffy has been since she woke up after getting shot.

 

“Sorry ‘bout that G-man,” Faith grins, her own arm wrapping around Buffy’s shoulders. She watches as he takes in the way they're standing, expecting him to start the ol’ Giles glasses cleaning routine. Instead he just smiles warmly at them both and she feels herself getting a little choked up as she notices how misty his eyes look.

 

“It really is so good to see you both,” he says, sounding a little choked up himself.

 

“Hello? What am I chopped liver?”

 

Dawn re-enters the room with the ice, ending the tender moment.

 

While Dawn hands Giles some ice, Faith turns to Buffy and sees the happy tears in her girlfriend’s eyes. Buffy meets her gaze and Faith allows herself a moment to just sink into the way Buffy looks at her. She never thought anyone could look at her with so much care. So much softness. She didn’t think she was worth that.

 

“Seriously? Could you two quit making googly eyes at each other for a minute?”

 

Yeah Faith really wishes she had told Dawn to stay with Red and Tara.

 

“Anyway,” Buffy shoots a glare Dawn’s way before she turns to Giles. “What are you back here for Giles? I mean not that we’re not totally glad to have you here.”

 

“Wicca’s in England felt a darkness emerging here that sheer Slayer force might not be able to stop. They loaded me up with some very powerful magic believing that I might be able to help.”

 

“Oh, so you don’t know what the darkness is?” Buffy fidgets with the edge of Faith’s shirt, pulling her a little closer. For a second Faith had forgotten all about the past few days and now if Giles doesn’t know, they’ll have to tell it again. She's not sure how they'll do that. 

 

“Well no, I believe it’s meant to be some sort of demon re-emerging. But, I got on a plane as soon as I had the-“

 

“It’s Anya,” Buffy cuts him off, "she's the re-emerging demon."

 

Well, that's one way to tell him.

 

“Xander-well Faith and Xander were shot and Faith managed to survive, but Xander-“

 

Buffy chokes on the last word and buries her head into Faith’s shoulder. This time Giles does do the glasses thing, his whole body seeming to deflate a little at the news.

He rises up from his chair and Faith watches as he moves to hug a tearful Dawn who easily falls into the father-like embrace. Then Buffy is tugging at her arm and suddenly Faith feels herself wrapped in a four-way hug with Dawn and Giles. Normally she’d hate it, but right now it feels kind of nice. These people, she’s come to accept, are her family.

 

After a minute, Giles pulls away and turns from them.

 

“I should have been her.  I was a fool to think the right thing was to leave you.”

 

Faith has never heard pain in Giles’ voice like she can now. She imagines this is what he sounded like when Buffy was…it still hurts her to even think of that time. She's pretty sure it always will.

 

“I was so angry when you left,” Buffy says quietly and Giles turns back to look at her.

 

“Buffy, I’m so sor-“

 

“No, I’m not finished,” Buffy cuts him off firmly, “You did the right thing, Giles. I was relying on you too much and I needed to be forced to stop.”

 

“Even so, there were other ways I could have gone about it,” Giles looks oddly sheepish and Faith wishes she had a camera. Sheepish Giles is not something she thinks she’ll see again.

 

“You gave me Faith, Giles,” Buffy adds softly and Faith swoons. Like full on rom-com swoons. Dawn, rightfully, makes a gagging sound.

 

“I don’t know how you knew that I needed her, but I’ll always be so grateful that you could see what I couldn’t,” Buffy continues and Giles gently squeezes her shoulder.

Faith smiles like a total cheeseball, but she can't bring herself to care. This is more than she ever felt was possible.

 

“I’m so very proud of you,” Giles tells Buffy, then he turns to look at Faith and Dawn,  “all of you.”

 

“But, I think now we have to work out just how we can stop Anya before she goes too far.”

 

Dawn, Faith and Buffy all share a fond look as Giles pushes up his glasses and heads towards a stack of books. Business mode Giles is back.

 

“There’s the G-man I remember,” Faith teases as Giles tosses her a book.

 

The smile slips off her face. Oh right, business mode Giles means study mode Faith. Somehow nostalgia had made her forget that part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed where this went. There's probably 2-3 more chapters left of this fic. Feedback is always welcome!!


	14. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Giles back, will they be able to work out a way to stop Anya before she goes too far?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may kick the rating up a notch.

“I think I have the solution,” Giles announces after what feels like days of researching.

 

“‘Bout freaking time,” Faith slams shut the book she had totally, definitely been reading.

 

“Yes, well,” Giles hesitates as the gang all gathers around him from their various places around The Magic Box. Red and Tara had shown up a few hours ago, needing a few supplies for their locator spell.

 

“Spit it out, G-man!”

 

Faith’s patience flew out the window a few hours ago. It’s time for action. Buffy’s hands move to rest on her shoulders and she instantly feels herself becoming a little calmer.

 

“I believe the locator spell is the best option. But, I think we need to use it to track down Warren rather than Anya.”

 

“Why?” Dawn asks incredulously, her head barely visible from the stack of books she has all around her. Dawnie had for sure been taking the researching more seriously than Faith had.

 

“We have to protect him.”

 

“Uh come again?” Faith’s sure Giles must have been sipping on some whisky in his tea because there’s no way a sober, sane Giles would be suggesting they protect the asshole who killed Xander.

 

“You want us to protect _Warren?_ ” Willow sounds near hysterical and Faith can’t blame her.

 

Giles sighs, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“It’s not about Warren. It’s about protecting Anya from herself.  From everything you’ve said, I do not believe she’s currently in a mind frame where we will be able to reason with her. So if we locate Warren and keep him safe, then we stop Anya from making a mistake she can’t take back.”

 

On some level what he’s saying makes sense. But, the idea of actively protecting that evil scumbag makes her stomach feel queasy.

 

“He killed Xander,” Willow chokes out and Faith watches as Tara immediately wraps her up in a hug. The loss of Xander is hitting them all, but no one more than Red.

 

“I know,” Giles breathes out, bowing his head. He looks so lost. Faith’s not at all  used to seeing him so unsure of himself. She feels Buffy gently squeeze her shoulders before she moves away to stand next to Giles.

 

“Giles is right,” Buffy says calmly, “if Anya kills Warren…there’s no coming back from that.”

 

“Right, no possible way someone could be redeemed after that,” Faith snaps at Buffy, unable to stop herself. This all feels a little too familiar.

 

“That’s-you know that’s not what I meant,” Buffy reaches forward to touch Faith again, but Faith jolts away. Buffy wraps her arms around herself at Faith’s rejection and even as on edge as she is, it makes her chest ache when she sees she’s hurting Buffy. But, she can’t bring herself to comfort her. Not right now.

 

“What did you mean, B? Anya kills Warren and you’ll turn your back on her?”

 

On some level she knows she’s overreacting. But, fuck, it hurts that after everything Buffy could still say that someone couldn’t come back from something like that. She had really thought that Buffy could see that she had managed to come back from the exact same thing. Maybe Buffy will always see the killer in her. Maybe that’s all she deserves.

 

“Faith,” Tara starts tentatively as she moves towards Faith. “Giles and Buffy just want to stop Anya from making a mistake we all know would change everything.”

 

“You agree with them?” Dawn butts in, tears streaming down her face as she points angrily at her sister and Giles. “I hope Anya finds Warren and makes him feel even a little of the pain we all do right now!”

 

Without a thought, Faith moves to Dawn and embraces her as the girl dissolves into hysterical sobs. Her own anger disappearing as she looks at the heartbroken teenager crying in her arms. It makes her think of Anya and the way she’d broken down upon seeing Xander’s body. She can still hear those guttural sobs echoing in her mind.  

 

She sighs as she runs a soothing hand down Dawnie’s back. Giles is right. Anya needs to be protected from herself. They need to stop her before she does something she can’t take back. And as much as she hates it, the only way they can do that is if they also protect Warren.

 

“Nah Dawnie, they’re right. We gotta stop her from killing the scumbag. It’s what’s best for Anya.”

 

She looks over Dawn’s head at Tara, offering her a small smile before she turns to Giles.

 

“You better let me fucking beat the crap out of the dickhead,” she bites out, “it’s the only way I’ll help.”

 

Giles nods and Faith turns back to comforting Dawn. She can feel Buffy looking at her and she knows they need to talk about the little outburst she had before, but right now she needs to just get herself under control. Her past isn’t something she can take back. She’s not sure she’ll ever be able to fully redeem herself for what she did back then.  But, she had just thought she had at least redeemed herself in Buffy’s eyes.

 

* * *

  

As she ties an unconscious Warren to the wall of the Summers’ basement, part of Faith can’t help but wonder why Buffy always seems to have chains available to tie people up. If she wasn’t still a little pissed of at Buffy, it would definitely lead Faith to a kinky place.

 

Tara’s locator spell had worked a treat and with just a little magic from Giles and a lot of violence from Faith and Buffy, they had managed to capture Warren and drag him back to the Summers’ house.

Okay, it had actually been a lot of work and Faith feels exhausted. But, man she had _really_ enjoyed punching the scumbag until he was bloody all over. Though she’s grateful Dawn is safely tucked away at her friend Janice’s and hadn’t had to see all that violence.

 

“Where am I?” Warren groans, trying to sit up and hissing in pain. Faith smirks to herself knowing that he must have just felt his broken ribs.

 

“Locked up like the little bitch you are,” Faith tells him as he takes in his surroundings.

 

“So you finally found me,” he says through a bitter laugh as he looks at the group around him. “Which one of you is going to kill me? The slutty psycho slayer? Or the witch too scared to use her own power?”

 

Faith slaps him hard across the face before Giles pulls her back. She turns to look at Willow and sees Tara’s arm tighten around her shoulders. It’s not often that Red looks speechless, but right now she looks completely lost for words.

 

“Oh kitty still has claws,” Warren taunts, “I thought Buffy had neutered you. Guess you realized all you’ll ever be good at is being bad.”

 

“That’s enough!” Giles bellows and Warren snickers and then winces in pain. Broken ribs sure do make laughing a hassle.

 

Faith focuses on her breathing. In and out. In and out. He’s baiting her and she knows better than to take the bait, but the creep always manages to get under her skin.

 

“Girls, you go rest and I’ll watch Warren for the night,” Giles says, rubbing his eyes wearily.

 

“Giles, we can-“

 

“No, I insist,” Giles cuts Buffy off, before turning to the four girls with a gentle smile. “You’ve all been dealing with this for far longer than I have. You need to rest.”

 

“Nighty night,” Warren calls as they head for the stairs. There’s a smack and a groan that lets Faith know Giles isn’t about to put up with anymore of Warren’s crap.  

 

It gets a small smile out of her before she trudges up the stairs. Some alone time will do her good. That and she really could use the sleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Well today was intense,” Buffy greets from the doorway of Faith’s room.

 

Faith sighs as she turns to face her from her bed. She’s torn between wanting to go to Buffy and hold her and wanting to shut the door in her face.

 

“Kinda wanted some sleep, B,” she grunts and watches as Buffy moves into the room and sits on her bed.

 

“Faith, you know what I said about Anya wasn’t some dig at you,” Buffy says quietly, her hand coming to tentatively rest of Faith’s leg. Faith doesn’t pull away, but she doesn’t meet Buffy’s eyes either.

 

“You said she wouldn’t be able to come back from killing Warren. How am I meant to not think about what that means about how you view me? I was in jail for multiple murders, B. That doesn’t just get erased cause you like cuddling and kissing me.”

 

She can’t keep the edge out of her voice. Buffy’s words really cut a little too close to home earlier. Buffy rises from the bed and Faith feels her heart sink. Obviously her words hit a little too close for Buffy. There’s a burning in her throat and she wills herself not to cry until Buffy is out of the room.

 

But, instead of the door slamming shut there’s a gentle hand cupping her face and Buffy forcing her to meet her gaze. She’s kneeling next to the bed just staring at Faith with warmth in her eyes that Faith has been getting used to having directed her way. It still makes her feel all stupidly fuzzy, but she knows now it’s just for her.

 

“I’m not sure Anya could come back from that, because Anya isn’t you,” Buffy says quietly, stroking Faith’s cheek. “God, Faith you’ve come so far from what you did in the past and you impress me everyday. But, I know it hasn’t been easy for you. And I know it takes an extraordinary person to be able to do that. Anya…I don’t know if she would be able to get past that.  Not now when she’s so deep in her grief. Plus, you know there’s the whole vengeance demon thing. That’s a whole other kettle of – well something or other. ”

 

Faith chuckles a little at Buffy’s rambling and Buffy smiles at her. She’s so damn pretty when she smiles that Faith can’t help but return it.

 

“You’re going to think this is super lame, but I’m really proud of you. Of everything you’re doing and how far you’ve come.”

 

Buffy sounds so genuine, so tender that Faith has to look away. She’s really not good at receiving compliments that aren’t just about how hot she is. Buffy is apparently having none of her awkwardness though and the hand on her cheek gently pushes her back till her eyes are locked with Buffy’s once again.

 

“I love you, Faith,” Buffy says quietly and _god_ Faith never thought she’d hear Buffy say those three words to her. They light something within her. It’s like the whole world disappears and all that’s left is Buffy. Her B.

 

“Really?” she whispers, part of her can’t believe this is real. Maybe she’s already asleep.

 

“I do. I love you so much,” Buffy confesses and Faith can tell she’s almost crying. Hell, she feels the happy tears creeping into the corners of her own eyes. But, instead of crying she shifts forward and captures Buffy’s lips with her own. She pours all the love she has for Buffy into the kiss.

 

She pulls back when she feels Buffy’s tears on her own cheeks. She frowns a little when she notices that Buffy’s full on crying now.

 

“B?” she asks, running her hands down Buffy’s arms and _shit_ that just makes tears come faster. Faith pulls her up onto the bed, wrapping her arms around her as Buffy cries into her shoulder.

 

So yeah, that’s not a mood shift she was expecting, but man it’s been a weird few days. They could probably all use a good cry.

 

“I hate that I never told Xander about us,” Buffy whispers into Faith’s neck as Faith runs her hands through Buffy’s hair. She doesn’t even attempt to say anything back. This is something Buffy needs to get out on her own.

 

“He would have made some pervy joke and I would have playfully slapped him for it,” she continues and Faith snorts because that’s a hundred percent what would have happened. She knows she would have played with his dirty man mind just to see how red he would have gone picturing her with Buffy.

 

She squeezes Buffy a little tighter as she feels a lump form in her throat. They shouldn’t have to just imagine how he would react.

 

“But, I just know he would have been so happy for us,” Buffy sighs, “I miss him.”

 

Faith kisses her forehead, “I do too, B. Xand-he was always just trying to do good. A guy like that shouldn’t be taken the way he was.”

 

They’re quiet for a moment, just holding each other and remembering their friend. Then Buffy is shifting so she’s looking right at Faith and her hand moves to settle just over Faith’s heart. It’s beating so fast right now that she’s sure Buffy can probably feel it.

 

“I was so scared when I thought I was going to lose you,” Buffy confesses and Faith moves a hand to rest on top of hers. “I could feel you leaving me. It made me think about if you- I mean you felt it right? You felt it when I died, didn’t you?”

 

To say she’s surprised by the question would be an understatement. She fucking hates thinking about that night. But, they’re letting down all their walls right now and she’s not going to be the one to ruin that.

 

“Yeah, B. It hurt worse than anything,” she strokes Buffy’s hand with her thumb. “Only time I ever hurt anyone in prison was when I realized you were…” she drifts off, still unable to actually say the words. “It’s why I get Anya, you know? If losing you before I even had you made me break like that then I dunno what I’d do if I ever lost you now.”

 

“You loved me even then?”

 

Faith hears the surprise in Buffy’s voice and she leans forward to place a gentle kiss on her lips. It’s time to let B in on the very last secret she has.

 

“Buffy, I’ve been in love with you since the night we fought Kakiostas.”

 

Suddenly Buffy is kissing her with more passion that Faith has ever felt from anyone in her whole life. She’s struggling to keep up as Buffy’s tongue slips into her mouth and Buffy’s hands slip under her top. All thoughts of needing sleep leave her mind as she kisses her back with everything she has.

 

She flips them over so she’s on top and shifts a leg between Buffy’s, deliberately pressing down. The moan that escapes Buffy’s lips as her hips buck up into Faith's thigh is beyond fucking hot and she's has never been turned on so quickly in her entire life.  

 

“Oh, Faith,” Buffy sighs, her hands gripping at Faith’s shoulders as Faith begins to kiss down her neck. She wants to taste every inch of Buffy. Which means these clothes really have to go.  She fiddles with the edge of Buffy’s tank top before pulling back to look into her eyes. Buffy’s small nod is all Faith needs before she’s pulling Buffy up a little and lifting the shirt over her head.

And well fuck, B isn’t wearing a bra. She feels like a hormonal teen as she just ogles the half naked girl in front of her. Buffy's tanned and toned and gorgeous. This is everything Faith’s ever wanted and it’s a hundred times better than anything she could have imagined. She leans forward to worship one of Buffy's perfect breasts with her mouth as her hand reaches up to squeeze the other.

 

“Fuck, that’s good,” Buffy moans and Faith’s pretty sure she could come just from this, just from hearing Buffy’s voice all husky and breathless in her ear. Her teeth gently scrape over a nipple as her fingers roll the other and Buffy writhes under her, her legs locking themselves around Faith’s waist as she rocks her hips up looking for some friction. She presses her thigh more firmly into Buffy’s centre and is rewarded by two hands moving from her shoulders to grip her ass. She’s painfully turned on now and it’s taking everything in her to not just take the girl lying underneath her hard and fast. Her hand slides down to rest on the waistband of Buffy’s pyjama shorts and she moves up to press a lingering kiss to Buffy’s lips.

 

“We finally gonna do this, B?” she asks as she pulls away and looks down into eyes that are much darker than Faith’s ever seen them before. She’s pretty sure hers must look the same.

 

“We are. But, first I need you to get a whole lot more naked,” Buffy replies with a smirk as she lifts Faith's t-shirt up over her head.

The smirk slips off Buffy's face as she realises that like her, Faith hadn't been wearing a bra. She feels incredibly smug, but then Buffy's hands are cupping her breasts and she's the one moaning. She captures Buffy’s lips in a searing kiss that’s all teeth and tongue as she grinds herself down into Buffy. She’s embarrassingly close and she needs Buffy naked now. Slowly she slides down her pyjama shorts, feeling nothing but silky, smooth skin.

“Fuck, B. No panties,” she groans as she rubs a hand up Buffy’s thigh.

 

“I was kind of hoping we’d be doing this tonight,” Buffy breathes out as she pulls down Faith’s own booty shorts and takes in the fact that Faith is also panty free. “Looks like maybe you thought the same.”

 

“Only reason I wasn’t completely naked when you walked in was cause I didn’t want to run the risk of traumatizing Dawnie.”

 

Faith kicks her shorts off the rest of the way before pressing her now completely naked body against Buffy’s. _Shit_. It should be illegal for anything to feel this good. She can feel how wet Buffy is and it’s almost too much. They’re kissing again with an almost primal need and she’s grinding down onto Buffy’s thigh now. Not even caring a little that Buffy must be able to feel how soaked she is. Actually, the thought is totally hot. 

 

“Please, _god_ , Faith touch me,” Buffy pants into her mouth as her fingers scratch along Faith’s back.

 

That’s all the encouragement she needs and her hand moves to where Buffy wants her. Her fingers slip along Buffy’s slit before she presses a thumb to her clit.

 

“Fuck,” Buffy’s back arches off the bed as Faith moves to kiss along her throat.

 

Keeping her thumb circling Buffy’s clit, she moves two fingers to her entrance and slowly eases them inside. She’s so tight and warm that Faith almost comes on the spot as she continues to grind herself on Buffy’s strong thigh.

 

Buffy’s nails are digging hard into her back as she begins to pump her fingers into her. She's getting drunk off the way Buffy reacts to her. The way her hips rock in time with Faith’s fingers, the sound of her breathy little moans right by Faith’s ear as she continues to nip and kiss along her neck.

 

“Harder,” Buffy breathes and Faith picks up the pace. It’s frantic now as they both just cling to each other, enjoying every second of this new feeling.

 

She’s so close and she can feel that Buffy is too. More than anything she wants them to come together. So she rolls her own hips, her clit hitting Buffy’s thigh just right as she curls her fingers inside Buffy.

 

“FAITH”

 

Yep, she definitely hit her g-spot. She curls them again and she feels Buffy’s walls tighten around her fingers as she comes with a strangled moan. And it’s all just too much for Faith.

 

“Buffy,” she moans into Buffy’s neck as she comes hard on her thigh. Slowly she removes her fingers from Buffy before looking up to see that’s her girlfriend has passed out.

 

The sight does wonders for her ego. She gently pecks the sleeping girls cheek before she flops down beside her on the bed, her arm resting across Buffy’s stomach as she drifts off to sleep with a smile on her face. 

 

She could really get used to this.

 

* * *

 

 

The sunlight streaming in through her window wakes Faith up. That’s exactly why she normally closes the curtains before she goes to sleep. Groaning she shifts a little in her bed and feels a warm, naked body pressed up against her own. B. The reason she forgot to close the curtains. She smiles and opens her eyes to see that sometime in the night Buffy had turned and is now resting her head against Faith’s boobs like they’re her own personal pillow. Not that she minds in the slightest. It just makes her grin even wider as she stares down at her sleeping girlfriend.  Buffy looks so fucking gorgeous, naked and cuddled up against her that she never, ever wants to get out of this bed. In fact, having a naked Buffy curled up against her makes her feel like it’s about time they start on round two.

 

She runs her hand along Buffy’s back, trying to encourage her to wake up. All she achieves is Buffy snuggling even more into her boobs and, yeah, that’s really not doing much to turn down her morning horniness.

 

“B,” she whispers, running a hand through Buffy’s hair, “you up?”

 

“No,” Buffy mumbles into Faith’s boobs and Faith can’t help but laugh.

 

“You sure,” she teases as she moves a hand down Buffy’s back slowly before she pinches her ass.

 

And suddenly Buffy is wide awake and frowning up at Faith as she rubs the spot where she was just pinched.

 

“What was that for?” Buffy pouts and Faith can’t help herself, she pulls Buffy up and kisses her soundly. Buffy sighs into the kiss and everything just feels so entirely perfect.

 

“That’s kinda why I wanted you awake,” Faith says as she pulls away a little, her hands trailing down to grope Buffy’s cute little ass as she leans in to kiss her again.

 

But, she’s stopped by Buffy pressing a finger to her lips.

 

“As much as I would love to just stay in bed with you all day and repeat last night over and over, we really should go down and given Giles a break from Warren watching duty.”

Oh right, the whole Anya is a demon again so they have to protect Warren thing. She had completely forgotten all about that. Part of her wants to continue to forget about it, but dammit she can’t deny that B’s right.

 

“This is the first time I’ve regretted being a good slayer again,” she sighs, letting a giggling Buffy wriggle out of her arms as she rises to get dressed.

 

She watches Buffy get dressed in a pair of her own jeans, enjoying being able to perv on her girlfriend for another minute before their happy morning has to come to an end. Grumbling she hoists herself out of bed and begins searching the room for something to put on, thoroughly enjoying the feel of Buffy’s eyes following her naked body around the room. She really can’t wait to get her alone again later. They barely got started last night.

 

She’s just putting on a jacket when there’s a knock on the door. She turns to Buffy who just shrugs, looking as confused as she feels. 

 

“Come in,” she calls and in walks Tara. All thoughts of more naked fun with Buffy leave Faith’s mind as she looks at the shaking girl in front of them. Shit, it must be bad.

 

“Tara, what’s wrong?” Buffy asks as she rushes to Tara’s side.

 

“I-well I woke up and Willow…” Tara trails off before dropping her head in her hands. “She’s missing,” she finishes and Faith can only watch as Buffy pulls her into a hug.

 

“Maybe she just went out to get something at the store,” Faith says, trying to stay hopeful. The last thing they need right now is for Red to be missing.

 

Tara just shakes her head before moving out of Buffy’s arms. She wraps her arms around herself as she paces in front of them. Faith wants to reach out for her, but she’s not sure that would be the right thing right now.

 

“No-the thing is-that’s not even the worst part. I went downstairs to see if maybe she’d just gone to help out Giles and…Warren is gone. I don’t know how, except that Giles looks really hurt.”

 

Faith’s stomach drops. This is not at all how she expected this morning to go.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second last chapter of this little story. I hope you're all still enjoying it. Feedback is always appreciated!!


	15. Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can things get any worse? Or will they be able to save the day. The final chapter.

Faith has felt plenty guilty in her life. Sure, at one point she was really great at shutting out that emotion, but man when she had accepted responsibility for all the bad shit she had done the guilt had hit her hard.

 

She feels a lot of things as she looks at Giles all bruised and bloody on the floor of the basement and guilt is definitely at the forefront. Looking over at Buffy as she kneels beside Giles to clean his wounds, she can tell that she’s also very much feeling the guilt. And it fucking sucks. She’s had a lot of sex in her life, almost all of it meaningless. The one time it’s with the woman she loves shouldn’t have to be tied to all this badness. But, it is.

 

“I know you’re hurt, but can you try and tell us how Warren escaped?” Buffy asks softly as Tara places a pillow behind Giles’ head in the hopes of making him a little more comfortable.

 

“I don’t know,” Giles replies, holding some ice to his head, “I blinked and he went from being locked up to hitting me over the head with his chains.”

 

“How is that even possible?” Buffy asks, moving away from Giles to stand next to Faith who wraps an arm around her waist without a thought.

 

This whole thing is a goddam mess and while she might feel guilty about missing Warren’s escape because she was tangled up in Buffy, she’s not about to deny herself the comfort simply touching her brings.

 

 

“Anya,” Tara says decisively and it’s the first time she’s said anything since they’ve been down in the basement. “She could have made someone wish for Warren to be freed.”

 

“Wouldn’t that mean she’d have to know he was trapped?” Faith asks and she feels Buffy stiffen a little in her arms.

 

“Willow.”

 

She can see the color drain from Tara’s face as it hits her that Buffy is right. If Anya freed Warren, then Willow is most likely with Anya. Honestly, she feels a little sick herself.

 

Faith steps away from Buffy and gently nudges Tara’s shoulder with her own. It’s not a hug, but it gets Tara to meet her eyes.

 

“We’ll sort this out, Tara. Promise. I’d never let my favorite Scooby down,” Faith knows her smile isn’t as playful as she had intended, but it gets Tara to almost smile back and that’s enough.

 

“I thought I was your favorite Scooby?” 

 

Faith turns back to Buffy and rolls her eyes. Because off-course B would need to comment on that even with all the heavy stuff going on.

 

“As important as this all is,” Giles says irritably, “I think, perhaps, we should use our energy to work out a way to search for Warren, Anya and Willow.”

 

“Right, sorry,” Buffy blushes and if things were a little calmer, Faith would for sure be kissing her. She’s far too cute when she’s embarrassed.

 

“I can do it,” Tara says, “I can find Willow.”

 

 “Are you sure?” Giles irritation is gone as he gently addresses Tara.

 

“I can feel her magic,” Tara replies with a blush and while that doesn’t exactly clear things up for Faith, she’s not about to ask any questions.

 

“Alright lets do this thing!”

 

It’s time to get to the action.

 

* * *

 

 

Things feel kind of big as the gang moves around the Summers’ house to prepare themselves to find Willow, Anya and Warren. Faith’s got this gut feeling that whatever goes down will end all this, once and for all. So she’s a little nervous as she stands at the front door with Buffy as they wait for Tara and Giles to work out their magic supplies and for Dawnie to pick out a weapon. Yeah, Buffy had surprised everyone by agreeing that Dawn was old enough to help out.

 

Faith looks over at Buffy who is currently checking out her own weapon situation and sighs. She doesn’t want to go into this feeling like there’s an elephant in the room with Buffy, so it’s time to put on her big girl pants and ask the question that needs to be asked.

 

“Can we talk for a sec?” she asks hesitantly, her hand reaching out to hold Buffy’s

 

“Sure,” Buffy replies looking a little confused, but interlacing her fingers with Faith’s anyway.

 

“I feel all kinds of stupid asking this, but you’re not like feeling guilty about what we did last night are you?”

 

She rubs her thumb along the back of Buffy’s hand, enjoying the comfort it brings even as she stares down at the floor feeling incredibly awkward.

 

“I won’t lie,” Buffy starts quietly, “I do feel guilty that we weren’t downstairs with Giles. We could have stopped all this.”

 

“Oh,” her heart drops to her stomach. That really wasn’t the answer she wanted, even if it was the one she expected.

 

“But, I don’t regret it,” Buffy squeezes her hand and her eyes snap back up to meet Buffy’s.  “Last night was…the word wow comes to mind.”

 

Faith feels relief wash over her as she takes in Buffy’s playful smile and bright eyes.

 

“Yeah?” she grins, pulling Buffy closer to her, “I mean you really only got a taste, B.”

 

“Oh I know,” Buffy leans in towards her so that their lips are almost touching, “in fact, I was thinking those chains in the basement might need to come upstairs at some point.”

 

She can’t stop the groan that escapes her as Buffy pulls away with a smirk before their lips can even meet.

 

The second this is all over she’s dragging Buffy up to one of their bedrooms and locking the door for at least a week.

 

* * *

 

 

“We’re getting close,” Tara says, breaking the silence for the first time in at least half and hour.

 

They’ve all been just following Tara through the woods, not wanting to disturb whatever it is she’s doing to track Willow. Faith’s still not at all sure _how_ Tara seems to be so sure she’ll find Red. But, she also knows Tara wouldn’t be leading them on a wild goose chase. So far Dawn has almost stabbed all of them by accident with the sword she decided should be her weapon, but besides those near fatal moments they’ve all just been silently following Tara’s lead.

 

Suddenly Tara stops and she’s about to ask why when she hears voices. She can’t see them as they’re just past the trees, near the edge of a hill, but she knows those voices. It’s Anya and Willow.

 

“Do it! You know you want to,” Anya sounds angrier than Faith has ever heard her, but it’s the pain in her voice that hits her the hardest.

 

Giles holds up a finger to indicate that everyone should remain silent. Seems smart. They should try and hear what’s happening before they just barge in guns blazing. Well, Slayers blazing to be more accurate.

 

“I want to avenge Xander too, but-“

 

“What is the point of all that magic cursing through you if you don’t even use it?” Anya cuts Willow off, “you think you were given the gift of all that power just to waste it? I know you want to hurt him.”

 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start,” Willow mumbles and Faith can tell she’s close to breaking. “It’s been so long since I used it, what if I can’t anymore?”

 

“It’s easy. Just give in to all the rage I know you feel about Xander and do what this _scum_ deserves.”

 

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Don’t kill me.”

 

Warren. She gets a sick satisfaction out of hearing the little weasel begging for his life. But, as much as she hates it, she knows if he’s at that point they need to act now. Before it’s too late for both Anya and Willow.

 

“Willow, don’t listen to her,” Tara yells as they all move into the clearing.

The first thing Faith notices is that there’s nothing tying Warren up, but he seems completely unable to move from his spot on the ground. Willow’s magic must be keeping him there. She never knew magic could do that.

 

“Oh look, it’s Buffy and the gang here to save the day,” Anya bites out sarcastically. Anya, unsurprisingly, is in full vengeance demon mode and it’s hard to remember that behind that demonic face is the woman Xander loved with all his heart.

 

“Tara?” Willow sounds dazed as she looks towards her girlfriend and Faith is startled to see that Red’s normally hazel eyes are black. And not in a sexy lust filled way.

 

“Willow, ignore them. They just want to stop you from reaching your full potential.”

 

Willow looks between Tara’s soft smile and Anya’s fierce gaze and Faith’s never seen someone so confused over what should be an easy decision.

 

“Will, you know you don’t want to do this,” Buffy adds, moving towards her best friend.

 

“But, I could make him pay.”

 

Okay, this is getting creepy. Faith’s pretty sure Red’s hair is becoming…well less red. And she’s moving closer to Anya again, her gaze fixed on a whimpering Warren.

 

“Yes, that’s it, don’t listen to them. We can make him suffer like he deserves,” Anya encourages and it’s taking every ounce of Faith’s self restraint to remember that the aim is to _not_ smack Anya.  

 

“Please, don’t do this. You’re stronger than this,” Tara pleads as she quickly moves until she’s right behind Red.

 

Faith can only watch and hope for the best as Willow pauses, her shoulders slumping a little as she turns back towards Tara.  The hesitation seems to be enough to drive Tara forward and suddenly she’s right in front of Red, cupping her cheek gently.

 

“I love you, Willow,” Tara’s voice is so soft and Faith can’t help but feel like she’s intruding on an intimate moment right now. But, fuck it, she can’t look away. As Willow looks up at Tara, her eyes shift back to their normal color and her hair turns back to its dyed red best. There’s a definite magic in the air and this time it’s not of the scary variety. Faith figures this might just be linked to how Tara just knew where Red was without any kind of locator spell. She’ll be asking a lot of questions when things calm down.

 

“Tara-oh god- I’m so sorry,” Willow cries as she collapses into her girlfriends arms. Faith catches Buffy’s eye as they both let out a sigh of relief. She’s not sure what they would have done if Red had turned to the dark side too.

 

The moment is interrupted by a smack as Willow and Tara tumble to the ground, Anya standing menacingly over them.

 

“Foolish girl,” Anya snaps, before turning back to Warren who is still cowering on the ground, “I guess I’ll just have to do this myself.”

 

Yeah, okay now Faith really wants to hit Anya. Multiple times even. It might not have been the plan, but the plan flew out the window two unconscious Scoobys ago.

 

Out of the corner of her eye she can see Giles moving towards where Tara and Willow lay in a crumpled heap. Good. That means she can focus on delivering some of her own pain.

 

Before she can attack Buffy’s hand lands on her arm, stopping her. Confused, she looks at Buffy who simply holds up a finger and mouths “one minute, please” at Faith before moving past her towards Anya. She takes a deep breath, trying to ground herself. Sure, she can do one more minute.

 

“Anya, this isn’t what Xander would want,” Buffy says calmly as she positions herself in front of Warren.

 

“Well thanks to your incompetence, Xander isn’t here to tell me what he wants.”

 

And there’s that pain that Faith heard earlier in Anya’s voice. It’s enough to stop her own rage. It’s bigger than her own anger. _Oh_. She might just know how to reason with Anya.

 

She moves forward to stand next to Buffy who gives her a questioning look that she answers with what she hopes is a reassuring smile. She really hopes this works.  

 

“You’re right. Me and B, we should have stopped this waste of space earlier,” Faith admits, pointing behind her to where Warren is still cowering and begging not to be killed. With Anya shocked into silence by Faith admitting that she and Buffy could have done more, Faith decides to push her luck.

 

“But, killing him won’t bring back Xan. It won’t make the pain stop. It’ll just make it worse.”

 

“You think you get it because you’ve killed people before? I’ve been exacting vengeance long before you were even born,” Anya snarls back, the shock having worn off as she advances towards Faith.

 

“No, I think I get what it’s like to be willing to throw away everything cause you think the moment of revenge will make everything feel better,” Faith replies, not backing down and fully aware that everyone’s eyes are on her. But, it doesn’t deter her. For once, she knows she’s saying exactly the right thing.  “What you’re doing, it’s just going to get you hurt. I can promise it won’t stop the ache in your chest.”

 

“Don’t you get it? I’m nothing without Xander. This. Vengeance. This was the only thing I was good at before him,” Anya’s voice cracks, “if I can’t have him and I can’t do this then what am I?”

 

“You’re Anya.”

 

Faith’s surprised to hear Dawnie, she had completely forgotten about the teen even being here. But, there she is dropping her sword and coming out into the clearing to talk to Anya.

 

“You love making and counting money and you like to dance even when you look silly. You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things and you’re always looking for ways to make things less boring. You helped look after me when Buffy….” Dawn drifts off and Faith’s not surprised to see that Dawn is like her when it comes to that time.

 

“And you made Xander so happy. It’s why I hated you so much when I had my stupid little crush on him,” Dawn lets out a watery chuckle as she continues to approach Anya. “But, he worked harder at his job and saved to get a nice place because you made him want to be somebody. And you’re still that person, even without…”

 

Dawn can’t seem to go on anymore, tears streaming steadily down her face as Buffy wraps an arm around her shoulders. But, it’s enough.  Faith watches as the mask of the vengeance demon slips from Anya’s face and then she’s just looking at the heartbroken face of the woman Xander was in love with.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Anya confesses quietly as she sinks to her knees. “It hurts.”

Anya sobs, completely broken, into her hands and tentatively Faith moves towards her. She reaches forward to gently touch her shoulder and feels a warm, comforting hand on her own. Buffy. And Dawn. Together, they wrap Anya up in their arms and she lets them, falling into their embrace as she weeps for Xander.

 

Faith feels three other bodies joining their messy group hug and knows that Willow and Tara must be okay. And for a moment they all allow themselves to sink into their shared grief.

 

In time, they’ll be okay.

 

* * *

 

 

_Three months later_

 

Faith yawns into her cup of coffee as she sits down on one of the stools in the Summers’ kitchen. She’s way too tired for all the stuff they have to do today.

 

“Babe, do you want bacon?” Buffy calls from the fridge and she can’t help but smirk to herself. B’s the reason she didn’t get enough sleep last night. Hell, B’s the reason she doesn’t get enough sleep most nights and she’d happily drink a million cups of coffee everyday if she gets to be exhausted that way for the rest of her life. She had known years ago that Buffy was full of shit when she said she didn’t feel the double H’s the way Faith did.

 

“I’d rather head back up to bed and eat somethin’ else,” she teases and she can tell from the way Buffy grips the fridge door just a little harder that Buffy wants that to.

 

“Faith,” Buffy says sternly as she turns to face her, a blush on her cheeks and arms full of breakfast food. “Willow and Tara are moving out and they need our Slayer strength. Or did you forget saying ‘no worries ladies, these muscles won’t let you down’ as you kissed your own biceps?”

 

Okay so she had promised Red and Tara to help move them out, but that was mostly so that she and Buffy would have more alone time in the house. Alone time like what they have right now. 

 

Beyond wanting the house to herself with Buffy (and Dawn), Faith’s pleased they’re moving out together because she’s glad things are going so well with them. It’s cheesy as fuck, but they deserve it. Things had been a little tense for a while with Red and Tara after Red almost turned to the dark side, but they’d come out of it all stronger and more sickly sweet than ever.

 

“I know, I know. Can’t blame a girl for trying,” she grumbles and begins to leaf through the mail. There’s not much, but there is a postcard from New York. She flips it over, even though she’s already sure she knows who it’s from.

 

“We got another postcard from Anya.”

 

“You read it first so that you can warn me if there’s any nostalgic for Xander sex stories that I really don’t need to read,” Buffy says and Faith can practically hear her grimace.

 

Faith can’t exactly blame her. Some of the stuff Anya writes about in her weekly postcards is too much even for her. A lot of it is hilarious though and it’s kind of nice to see that Anya’s personality is still very much there. After Warren had plead guilty to murder and been put in jail for a very, very long time Anya had decided she needed some space from Sunnydale and she’d headed off on her own to ‘find herself’. Well, that’s how she’d phrased it. She’s mostly just moving around the country and writing about how much she wishes Xander was having sex with her in whatever city she’s in. Still, that’s a step up from going on a vengeance demon rampage.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll try and spare your innocent eyes, B,” she says with an eye roll before deciding she’s not in the mood to read Anya’s post-card and she’s much more in the mood to make out with her girlfriend.

She saunters over to where Buffy is watching the food on the stove and wraps her arms around her from behind, pulling her so she’s flush against her front and leaning down to press her lips to Buffy’s ear.

 

“Ya sure we don’t have a little time before we gotta help Red and Tara?” she asks, enjoying the way Buffy’s breath hitches as she nips her ear.

 

“I’m cooking breakfast,” Buffy replies, though she leans back a little into Faith’s embrace.

 

“Damn, didn’t realize you couldn’t multitask, B,” she begins to kiss along Buffy’s neck as she brings a hand up to cup one of her-

 

“You’re meant to wait until we’ve moved out before you start acting like we’re no longer here.”

 

Faith jumps away from Buffy and looks around to see a smirking Willow by the kitchen door. Next to her is Tara, who is also smirking, and behind them is Giles who is cleaning his glasses and looking anywhere but at Buffy and Faith.

 

“Look at what you’re leaving me with,” Dawn moans, covering her eyes, “it’s seriously traumatizing living in this house.”

 

Buffy’s pouting as she turns around to face the gang, her cheeks bright red and it’s just too much for Faith to handle so she leans forward and kisses her gently.

 

“Seriously? We’re still right here!” Dawn calls and Faith pulls back with a laugh.

 

“What? I can’t help that your sister’s irresistible,” Faith teases, her arms still holding Buffy to her.

 

“You’re so paying for my therapy.”

 

She grins down at Buffy who is rolling her eyes at her sister, all her own embarrassment having faded away. She’ll never get sick of how nice it feels to have B leaning into her like this.

 

“I think I might be able to salvage breakfast,” Tara says, moving to where something is definitely burning at the stove.

 

“I’ll help,” Willow moves to her girlfriend and the two share a soft smile before they dive into attempting to salvage the burning scrambled eggs.

 

“I suppose I’ll have to make my own tea,” Giles says as he begins to search for the teapot that’s only in the house for him.

 

Buffy smiles up at Faith in that special Buffy way that makes her feel warm all over and as she listens to the sounds of everyone bustling about the kitchen, for a moment everything feels close to perfect. Well, as perfect as a place built on a Hellmouth can be. She’s planning on soaking up the perfect until the next evil thing pops up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of this fic and I've really enjoyed writing it. I didn't think anyone would be interested in my little fic and have been overwhelmed by all the kudos and comments. I hope those of you who have stuck with it enjoy how it ended. Feedback is greatly appreciated!!
> 
> There will definitely be more Fuffy from me in the future.


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